I’m watching myself and have to share some noticeings. Sharing them is the final step in processing. I can be as self-serving as I like when I’m processing internally. But when I share, it isn’t as easy. The share is out there. It’s public. So I want to call myself on something. I need a […]
The End of the Road
On Nov. 7, 2020, the Divine Mother gave us our mission: “This Pause gives you the time, the critical time, to go deeply within your heart and truly examine what lies there. This Pause that I give you gives the time to be the observer. You have done the participant; now be the observer and […]
Patterned Responses as Phantoms
I’m buoyed up to hear how much time Patricia Cota-Robles gave to purification because, for me, that yields the most welcome and beneficial results among things I can do while waiting for Godot. On the awareness path, what that waiting means is to watch and pay particular attention to things that are taking me in […]
A Lightworker at the Helm
Heading into the last weeks before the election, I expect the deep state to start going crazy, reporting all manner of bad things they did as having been done by the other guys. In international affairs, it’s called the mirror effect – blame your enemy for what they blame you for. Tit for tat. In […]
Escape from Adulthood: OK, That’s Enough of That
Clearly my personality survives intact in some way, shape or form. I don’t know what the road ahead holds. I can only report. What I report now arises from my practice, on the path of awareness, of maintaining awareness of myself. I detected a pattern. I was people-pleasing. I was complimenting someone on a coat […]
Autopilot Set to “Learn”
The way things seem to go, it’s often only after a condition has departed that we learn what it was and what it did. For example, hostility having been recognized and left, I’m now beginning to see some things about it. Hostility has many poses. One of them, I’m now seeing, is “Don’t mess with […]
And Then, Another Bridge
I’m finding there comes a time when a bridge is crossed. It’s one of many bridges, one of them being Ascension itself. (1) And, like so much else, for the experience to flower, I have to consciously recognize what’s happening. I have to move from unconscious awareness of the thing in question to conscious awareness. […]
I Feel Fully Self-Expressed
Would you allow me a personal reflection for a moment? I live in a paradoxical situation where my readers know more about me than most of my friends. I don’t mean this as a criticism. It makes sense. Local conversation might go like, “What did you do today?” And I reply with a litany of […]
Grounding is Next as I Prepare
The Company of Heaven are continually asking us to drop anchor in Gaia, to send an energetic cable down to Gaia’s heart and there fasten it to her – in other words, to ground ourselves. Viewed from another perspective, I notice in myself that, when I allow my center of gravity to rise up as […]
A Lifetime’s Humiliation Coming Up
I’d like to illustrate here the application of the upset clearing process to a really-tough vasana (or core issue). (1) I’m going to raise to awareness a feeling that’s difficult to experience. It’s so strong that it’s been roasting me alive for three days now. Constant Comment may be gone but my vasanas live! A […]
A Time of Purification?
Triggers just seem to keep going off. I have to be supervigilant not to launch into extreme thoughts and behavior. And not to then swing out onto the other extreme and super-protect myself from them, until the guardian again becomes the guard. (1) How to stay in the middle and yet be strong, resolute, determined? […]
How Do I Change Myself?
There’s so much I want to say about the process I’ve just been through so things are not missed. The ideas are tumbling out. What I did was I processed a root vasana or core issue. Processing a vasana is the (wholesome) alternative to blaming and shouting at another person. Long ago I swore I […]
What Does Angelic Protection Mean?
Again, doing research on an entirely-different topic, I came across this 2017 conversation with Michael where he discusses the human tendency not to fully trust the Mother and the celestials. I can speak to the fear he points to here. Living almost entirely on donations can make one’s teeth chatter. Unless one has been told […]
Getting Out of My Own Way
My life is a workshop in awareness. My agreement is to remain aware of myself. My process involves observing, noticing, and sharing. Viewed from a cultural-historical standpoint, my notes are an Ascension ethnography – a biography or narrative of one person’s slow and gradual, and sometimes sudden, Ascension process. Right now, I’m noticing the impact […]
Not Elegant, Just Workable
I was saying earlier that I regarded this as a time of Deep Cleansing. (1) However that works, I personally find that deep issues are arising. I’m now following the deep despondency I’ve felt in the background of my consciousness for what feels like all my life. And at last I’m connecting with an utter […]