Toward a World that Works for Everyone
When I think of Ascension as a journey up a mountain, I weep. Because for me, that’s how it’s seemed. I could have said pulling myself out of a swamp. Or crossing a desert. These are just images, but I feel so tired looking at the journey from this vantage point. It’s been a long […]
The way things seem to go, it’s often only after a condition has departed that we learn what it was and what it did. For example, hostility having been recognized and left, I’m now beginning to see some things about it. Hostility has many poses. One of them, I’m now seeing, is “Don’t mess with […]
I’m finding there comes a time when a bridge is crossed. It’s one of many bridges, one of them being Ascension itself. (1) And, like so much else, for the experience to flower, I have to consciously recognize what’s happening. I have to move from unconscious awareness of the thing in question to conscious awareness. […]
When tension increases, awareness decreases. The converse should also be true: When tension decreases, (1) awareness should increase. And so, in the midst of chaos, my awareness appears to be increasing. Having dropped Constant Comment, weathered the eruption of Humiliation that followed, (pant, pant) I notice that I have reached a place of … well, […]
All this personal cleansing that I’m doing – and we’re doing – what’s its significance and how effective is it? The significance of personal cleansing is that it removes the various obstacles to realization (enlightenment). I’ve talked about the obstacles as vasanas (or core issues), habitual behavior patterns, and … I now see … the […]
I’d like to illustrate here the application of the upset clearing process to a really-tough vasana (or core issue). (1) I’m going to raise to awareness a feeling that’s difficult to experience. It’s so strong that it’s been roasting me alive for three days now. Constant Comment may be gone but my vasanas live! A […]
(Concluded from yesterday.) I decreed my oneness. I commanded that I be one from this moment onwards. And I did become one. And no sooner had I done that, then another, higher part of myself returned to me like a Slinkey reassembling itself. The one followed the other in rapid succession. These things never come […]
If you were the Humpty Dumpty man, had a great fall, and smashed into a million pieces, how would you put yourself back together again? What mantra/affirmation would you use? I am one? Sixty-six years after dissociating in that way, I’m nearing the point of becoming one again. (1) I never want to say the […]
Seeing a vasana (or core issue) disappear for a time is not the end of the road. Vasanas can reappear and re-establish themselves if we fall back into living life by following what have become habitual behavior patterns. Habitual behavior patterns are one form of residue, precipitate, the fallout from our vasanas. They linger even […]
I continue to observe the changes within me. Concurrent with feeling happiness for virtually the first time in my life – within memory – the other day, I also notice that I’m wandering around without something. I was repositioning a picture and, having accomplished something, I found myself waiting for the spoilers to come along […]
Triggers just seem to keep going off. I have to be supervigilant not to launch into extreme thoughts and behavior. And not to then swing out onto the other extreme and super-protect myself from them, until the guardian again becomes the guard. (1) How to stay in the middle and yet be strong, resolute, determined? […]
There’s so much I want to say about the process I’ve just been through so things are not missed. The ideas are tumbling out. What I did was I processed a root vasana or core issue. Processing a vasana is the (wholesome) alternative to blaming and shouting at another person. Long ago I swore I […]
I was going through wave after wave of anger, experiencing it through to completion now that the vasana of father hatred was at last up. I resolved to be angry for as long as it took for the light to go on. And the light went on when I asked myself: What is the cost […]
Vesuvius is quietening down. Let me do a post-mortem. Father hatred leaves me flat, unresponsive, shallow in my compassion. Hindus call that state of mind thamasic, lethargic. In my everyday awareness, I can feel it only subtly, as a slightly negative attitude towards everything – not skeptical but pessimistic. Disbelief, despair, depression. As I said […]
So far the vasana with my Dad has manifested, as it did in 1986, as unbridled anger. But I seem to have left the anger phase now, and, even as the last fumes of father hatred dissipate, I’m beset by feelings of fear. This is a crystal-clear demonstration that anger sits on top of fear. […]
