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/ Home / Archives for News / Personal Growth / Recovering from Anger
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Watching Our Shadow Side

February 12, 2021 by Steve Beckow

We read about nice, mild-mannered people suddenly killing their parents or spraying a supermarket with bullets. Their friends and neighbors might say they never suspected that that was in this person. They’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. (1) What does that depiction actually point to? Well, as far as I’m aware, it refers to […]

Filed Under: Recovering from Anger, Relationships, Relationships and Vasanas, Steve Beckow, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wheel of Life

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Thank You to the Troll Under the Bridge … and Goodbye

January 26, 2021 by Steve Beckow

I’ve reached the end of the road with an act of mine, a racket, a number. I’ve processed this number before. I’m processing it now at a much deeper level. Its presenting sign is that I wake up in the morning and I’m not cheerful. Nothing has happened that I be anything but cheerful, but […]

Filed Under: Behavior Patterns, Character Reformation, Clearing, Completion, Creative Dissociation, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Father Hatred, Feelings, Importance of, Games People Play, Grand Motif, Humans Value How They Feel Above All Else, Intergenerational Transfer, Judgmentalness, Judgments, Just Stop/Stopping Unwholesome Action, Polishing the Statue, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Scripts People Live, Self-Command, Steve Beckow, Taking It Out on Someone, Tension and Awareness, Troll, Trust/Mistrust, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas

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The Destination is Worth the Rigor

October 19, 2020 by Steve Beckow

When I think of Ascension as a journey up a mountain, I weep. Because for me, that’s how it’s seemed. I could have said pulling myself out of a swamp. Or crossing a desert. These are just images, but I feel so tired looking at the journey from this vantage point. It’s been a long […]

Filed Under: Ascension Itself, Awakening, Blessings and Virtues, Brahmajnana/God-Realization, Changing My Vote, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Evolution of Consciousness, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, God, Harmony, Heavenly Father, Higher Dimensionality, Inner Tsunami of Love, Longing for Liberation, Love/Ocean of Love/Love in Action, News, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Perennial Philosophy, Purpose of Life, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Reparenting, Resistance to Love, Self-Knowledge, Spiritual Evolution, Steve Beckow, Taking Personal Responsibility, The Self/Atman, The Transcendental, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas

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Getting Bigger, Getting Bolder, Getting Moving

October 10, 2020 by Steve Beckow

Everything, it seems, is a confidence game. Not just as in a swindle. Let’s leave that meaning aside and look at the role of confidence in what we do in our everyday lives. I could never drive a bus. I don’t have the confidence. I could never fly an  airplane, do heart surgery, or drive […]

Filed Under: Adult Consciousness State, Balanced Adult, Breakthrough, Commitment, Confidence, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Persistence/Valor, Polishing the Statue, Pure and Innocent Child Consciousness, Reclaiming My Authority, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow

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Autopilot Set to “Learn”

October 4, 2020 by Steve Beckow

The way things seem to go, it’s often only after a condition has departed that we learn what it was and what it did. For example, hostility having been recognized and left, I’m now beginning to see some things about it. Hostility has many poses. One of them, I’m now seeing, is “Don’t mess with […]

Filed Under: Breakthrough, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Grand Motif, Harmony, Hostility, Letting Go of Drama/Exaggeration/Gossip, Masks/Constructed Self, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Relationships and Vasanas, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Taking Personal Responsibility, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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Being Cooped Up in a Form

September 24, 2020 by Steve Beckow

While my awareness having expanded beyond the limits of my body is a landmark event, the actual experience itself is quite neutral, almost imperceptible. It’s as if a storm has stopped and it’s the next morning. All is quiet and renewed. I feel more relaxed. I was describing my experience to a friend. I said […]

Filed Under: Awareness as a Path, Constant Comment, Creative Chaos, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Polishing the Statue, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Removing Limitations, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences

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Insight Unfolds

September 19, 2020 by Steve Beckow

This insight keeps on unfolding. I’m trying to remake the world in my own image. (1) Yes. I have preferences. I try to see that the world is as I’d prefer it to be. Definitely. I certainly need to raise this one to awareness because very soon I’ll have ample money to impact a section […]

Filed Under: Death of Narcissus, Peeling the Onion, Puzzle Becomes a Picture, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences, Taking Personal Responsibility

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The Worst Possible Virus: The Inner Hitler

September 17, 2020 by Steve Beckow

When tension increases, awareness decreases. The converse should also be true: When tension decreases, (1) awareness should increase. And so, in the midst of chaos, my awareness appears to be increasing. Having dropped Constant Comment, weathered the eruption of Humiliation that followed, (pant, pant) I notice that I have reached a place of … well, […]

Filed Under: Adult Consciousness State, Arcturian Group, Balanced Adult, Breakthrough, Character Reformation, Cleansing/Purification, Cognitive Dissonance, Constant Comment, Control/Fear of Control, Course Correction, Critical Parent Consciousness State, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Grand Motif, How I See Myself, Humiliation, Inner Hitler, Intergenerational Transfer, Just Stop/Stopping Unwholesome Action, Natural, Normalcy, Peeling the Onion, Polishing the Statue, Pure and Innocent Child Consciousness, Puzzle Becomes a Picture, Reclaiming My Authority, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences, Taking Personal Responsibility, Tension and Awareness, Transparency, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas

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What’s the Significance and Effectiveness of Personal Cleansing?

August 31, 2020 by Steve Beckow

All this personal cleansing that I’m doing – and we’re doing – what’s its significance and how effective is it? The significance of personal cleansing is that it removes the various obstacles to realization (enlightenment). I’ve talked about the obstacles as vasanas (or core issues), habitual behavior patterns, and … I now see … the […]

Filed Under: Cleansing/Purification, Constant Comment, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Judgmentalness, Make Wrong, News, Reclaiming My Authority, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences, Vasanas

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Cleaning Up the Residue: The “Work” in “Growth Work”

August 23, 2020 by Steve Beckow

Seeing a vasana (or core issue) disappear for a time is not the end of the road. Vasanas can reappear and re-establish themselves if we fall back into living life by following what have become habitual behavior patterns. Habitual behavior patterns are one form of residue, precipitate, the fallout from our vasanas. They linger even […]

Filed Under: Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Peeling the Onion, Polishing the Statue, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Taking Personal Responsibility, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas

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A Time of Purification?

August 5, 2020 by Steve Beckow

Triggers just seem to keep going off. I have to be supervigilant not to launch into extreme thoughts and behavior. And not to then swing out onto the other extreme and super-protect myself from them, until the guardian again becomes the guard. (1) How to stay in the middle and yet be strong, resolute, determined? […]

Filed Under: Adult Consciousness State, Balanced Adult, Blame and Shame, Critical Parent Consciousness State, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Intergenerational Transfer, Masks/Constructed Self, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Polishing the Statue, Reclaiming My Authority, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Self-Acceptance, Self-Command, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences, Transparency, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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Sitting on My Inner Child

August 4, 2020 by Steve Beckow

I was going through wave after wave of anger, experiencing it through to completion now that the vasana of father hatred was at last up. I resolved to be angry for as long as it took for the light to go on. And the light went on when I asked myself:  What is the cost […]

Filed Under: Breakthrough, Character Reformation, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Peeling the Onion, Polishing the Statue, Recovering from Anger, Relationships and Vasanas, Self-Command, Steve Beckow, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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Vesuvius is Quiet

August 3, 2020 by Steve Beckow

Vesuvius is quietening down. Let me do a post-mortem. Father hatred leaves me flat, unresponsive, shallow in my compassion.  Hindus call that state of mind thamasic, lethargic. In my everyday awareness, I can feel it only subtly, as a slightly negative attitude towards everything – not skeptical but pessimistic. Disbelief, despair, depression. As I said […]

Filed Under: Adult Consciousness State, Balanced Adult, Blame and Shame, Breakthrough, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Reclaiming My Authority, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Self-Command, Steve Beckow, Taking It Out on Someone, Taking Personal Responsibility, Trust/Mistrust, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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Whose Shepherd I am

August 3, 2020 by Steve Beckow

So far the vasana with my Dad has manifested, as it did in 1986, as unbridled anger. But I seem to have left the anger phase now, and, even as the last fumes of father hatred dissipate, I’m beset by feelings of fear. This is a crystal-clear demonstration that anger sits on top of fear. […]

Filed Under: Adult Consciousness State, Balanced Adult, Cognitive Dissonance, Course Correction, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Paradigmatic Breakthrough, Polishing the Statue, Puzzle Becomes a Picture, Reclaiming My Authority, Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self, Recovering from Anger, Relationships and Vasanas, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Reparenting, Steve Beckow, Taking Personal Responsibility, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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The Next Step for Me

July 29, 2020 by Steve Beckow

I seem to be in a process of emergence. As I move forward in it, I bump into major roadblocks again and again. I’m bumping into one now. I’m not surprised that it’s come up. The minute one takes a position, up comes the opposition. I’ve taken a position, “no more global small talk – […]

Filed Under: Experiencing the Vasana Completely, How I See Myself, Intergenerational Transfer, Invalidation/Validation, Peeling the Onion, Reclaiming My Authority, Recovering from Anger, Releasing the Old Paradigm and Embracing the New, Removing Limitations, Steve Beckow, Steve's Experiences, Trust/Mistrust, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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