I received a dressing down two days ago, which was well deserved, which I acknowledged. However, the occasion presented a wonderful opportunity to look at myself and I’ve been doing that ever since. It’s been very rewarding. There’s no way I could say what happened without being egregiously self-serving. I complained at an establishment […]
Pre-Requisite to Exiting the Cycle of Conflict: Making and Keeping Promises
I’ve felt for a very long time that it’s unfortunate that we don’t have more widely disseminated approaches to everyday relationship conflict. Of course I’m not in a relationship so I’m ignorant of current breakthroughs in that field. I’m offering the analyses that cluster around the notion of “cycle of conflict” as a door in […]
Reconciliation an Important Thing, But Not THE Important Thing
One of the mistakes the friends and family of folks caught in a cycle of conflict often make is to mistake reconciliation – getting back together (step 8) – as a resolution of the conflict. We reconcile and they all applaud, as if reconciliation is THE most important thing. No, if nothing ever changes, then […]
“Here We Go Again”: Looking into the Cycle of Conflict
A cycle of conflict is a repetitive argument whose constituents are complaints that go ignored or otherwise unattended to. If serious enough and left undealt with, it can escalate in intensity while the feelings for one another may decrease proportionately, until the couple separates. It’s my current belief that, unless people find a way out […]
There is No Greater Gift than Listening V3 Leaving the Cycle of Conflict (Download)
Credit: verywell.com I’m reissuing Leaving the Cycle of Conflict as a volume in the There is No Greater Gift than Listening series. Let me post one of my favorite chapters from that book. I have to say that the cycle of conflict, in my estimation, is the greatest affliction of relationship that I’m aware of […]
“Nothing Ever Changes”
I’d like to return to the subject of exiting the cycle of conflict for a moment to introduce the notion of a nuclear issue. In a full-blown cycle of conflict, we may reach the conclusion that “nothing ever changes.” When we conclude that, the issue that doesn’t change may go nuclear. A “nuclear issue” […]
Taking the Cycle of Conflict Out of International Relations
How are our international relations, at this time of crisis and chaos, the same as the personal cycle of conflict? Well, one resemblance is in the outcome: Nothing ever changes. The situation, these days I’m sure you’ll agree, does not get better. However we’re communicating, and receiving that communication, it is not working. To download […]
An Entry Point for Letting Go of Conflict
Coming back from being an angry person, graduating to being a troll, and later a global policeman, I find conflict to be absolutely second nature to me. In fact I love it. I love a good fight and am disappointed when the other person backs down … in the face of my enthusiasm to just […]
The Walk Out of the Cycle of Conflict
I’ve said that I’m approaching exiting the cycle of conflict as how I believe a successful CEO would. That’s going to be my role soon enough. I call doing this work of exiting the cycle voluntarily (without being required to) “pushing my edge.” As I do so, the insights start popping. The chief insight is […]
Your Cycle is Yours; Mine is Mine; and Mine is Closed for Business
I continue to work with the cycle of conflict because I’ll soon be a CEO and won’t have time to work on it then. I’m working in wide brushstrokes too because I don’t think it could possibly be too much longer before the emergency broadcasts. I don’t feel I have time for detailed research […]
I Don’t Need to Handle the Other Person’s Conflict
My work with the cycle of conflict continues and enters a new phase. In working with the cycle as a satisfied single, a happy hermit, I’ve seen that, in one respect, the cycle is irrelevant to me. As long as there is conflict inside of me, I’ll see conflict outside. As within, so without. I […]
Archangel Michael on Why All This Conflict is Occurring
Here is Michael describing the cycle of conflict at a social level. He asks us to shine our light into the darkest corners, saying that everything discordant must be surfaced. “Archangel Michael: Victory is at Hand!” channeled by Linda Dillon, May 10, 2019, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/05/10/archangel-michael-victory-is-at-hand/. It is fully understood how this mental and emotional and […]
The Cycle of Conflict is a Relationship Killer – Part 1/2
Every relationship I’ve ever lost, I’ve lost to an inability or unwillingness on my part or someone else’s (or both) to handle conflict. Download Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-26.pdf I’m tempted to say that we don’t have “relationships.” We have connections that are wonderful to begin with and then are choked off by […]
The Cycle of Conflict is a Relationship Killer – Part 2/2
(Concluded from Part 1, above.) To review, first, what happens in this cycle is that discussion of a matter is left until one party is ready to blow. That in itself is not a great strategy. Download Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-26.pdf Communication needs to happen sooner and on a regular basis until […]
I Need to Know How You Feel
I shudder when I think of all the years I spent in the cycle of conflict, not knowing how to get out of whatever situation I was in. I had no idea where the exit door was. I was going mad going round and round the same circle day after day. Even now I […]