Would you allow me a personal reflection for a moment?
I live in a paradoxical situation where my readers know more about me than most of my friends.
I don’t mean this as a criticism. It makes sense.
Local conversation might go like, “What did you do today?” And I reply with a litany of what I did.
None of it says anything about who I am in the matter.
In here I say who I am in the matter. Is that a bad thing?
In here I can be myself. I have only me to report to for what I say. I can speak freely.
I don’t think we appreciate this aspect of the Internet. It’s communication we control, where we can be ourselves and speak freely. (1)
Some people use it to troll and harm others. Too bad. But that will go.
The attitudes below those kinds of actions will not equip the individuals to accept and integrate the higher energies. (2) I predict that the trolls and hackers will influence events less and less.
Meanwhile, when we return to peace and harmony, the Internet, this internal space, can be used to achieve full self-expression.
I can speak to that because I feel fully self-expressed as a result of writing. And this level of connectivity available from the Internet makes this level of writing possible – and rewarding.
Feeling fully self-expressed is not about number of publications or whether it made the bestsellers list (I’ve never sold a single book).
From my vantage point, just like mastery and abundance, full self-expression is a space, a state of being. And, that being the case, it’s higher dimensional.
Realization is the usual doorway into it. Sometimes an experience can be powerful enough to catapult us in. But these days, for me, it’s becoming easier to breathe the space up from my heart.
When I breathe it up, I feel uplifted, satisfied, fulfilled. I recall Andrew Cohen saying it isn’t having the object of desire that proves satisfying and uplifting. It’s the momentary cessation of desire.
Yes. In me, it’s the cessation of the desire to seek “more” in order to reach a point I think of as “fulfilment.” I already feel fulfilled.
I’ve done enough in the service of my own agenda of proving my self-worth. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue in service of the Mother. Of course I will. It just means that the other self-demeaning script is now out of the way.
How wonderfully liberating. I feel fully self-expressed. Is that not the object of the inner game of writing?
So we can add writing as another path to the same higher-dimensional space that we’ve already known as love, bliss, peace, mastery, and abundance. In this case we know it as full self-expression. Another door in.
This space is for me unlike the others – i.e., it has its own flavor – in this respect, that work-related vasanas have been a big part of my life.
My self-worth issues arose because my Dad used to call me a lazy, no-good good-for-nothing. Consequently I became a high-volume producer to prove him wrong.
Having reached the place of feeling fully self-expressed, all of those nagging issues and upsets (which make up the vasana) are now released.
I never even suspected their existence. (3)
I’ve satisfied myself that I’ve adequately disproven the allegation that I’m a lazy, no-good, good-for-nothing. I’ve done enough. I can now stop serving this unseen agenda and now with my full attention serve the agenda of the Mother.
(1) Of course what we say leaves a record that personnel officers can read in an employment-related search. It often becomes easier for retired folks to speak their minds in this environment.
(2) The structures of muscular tension in the body will prevent awareness from expanding; dark beliefs will prevent the seeing of what’s real; the burden of past perpetrations will weigh the will to good down.
(3) More proof that all upsets are coming up for release. We’re being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste.