Things are moving through me at such a rate that I may have to resort to posting notes if I’m to journal my own Ascension, as I agreed with Michael and the Mother to do. (1) Only if I write these things down will I remember them. Never mind what I ate for breakfast. Right […]
Dissociation – What a Long Road Back!
I received the answer recently to a question that has long plagued me. The situation is here I am, Mrs. Beckow’s son Stephen. What do I know about running companies? Moving money? Running a large news outlet and a spiritual-research company? All of the above at once? With no memory? Are we left adrift to […]
Attribute Everything to Ascension
We’re on a journey of Ascension at this moment and the last thing I personally want to do is to make that journey outside conscious awareness – “in a fit of unconsciousness,” as some wag put it. No, I may not run a spaceship. But I run the good ship I Am. I’m monarch over […]
Opening to Leadership Responsibility – Part 1/2
The archangels are fully involved in our Ascension. How many times do we get an opportunity to watch one working with his servant? Not many, I believe. They’re working with every one of us of course. We just lack the record of it. Hence I feel an increased responsibility to share from my readings of […]
Opening to Leadership Responsibility – Part 2/2
(Concluded from Part 1, above.) In my family my older brother Paul was the leader and I was his lieutenant, who had his back. I think Paul trained me for service with Michael. Within the first year of our discussions together, Michael said something cryptic but astonishing to me: Archangel Michael: You have known that […]
Putting the Global Humpty Together Again
If your personality was blown off you at an early age in violent circumstances, so that you thought of yourself as the Humpty Dumpty Man, what would be your greatest impulse? To bring all the pieces back together again. To consolidate. To integrate. To rebuild, reconstruct, reassemble. Isn’t that so? What an interesting circumstance for […]
Steps in My Own Emergence – Part 1/2
“You know … it could be so easy with all that is going on to just become a recluse. Many feel this way and unless things change … the great ‘unpricked’ cannot go anywhere in public anyway, so reclusive lifestyle is suiting many. Just keeping themselves to themselves.” (1) I just realized this morning that […]
Standing on the Mountain Top – Part 1/2
I read a passage from the Mother and it unleashed a vasana (or core issue) which I’m still in the midst of processing. Naturally I ran for the computer. The passage from the Mother was this: “You are already ‘in and out’ of the fulfillment of your ascension. “[What] is the final watermark? It is […]
Standing on the Mountain Top – Part 2/2
(Concluded from Part 1, above.) The vasana is a gigantic GRRRRR! to all the opposition I met along the way – opposition to doing what I’m happily doing right now. Why can’t we be allowed to do what we love and be financially supported? (Just wait for the Reval!) But then I realized that, without […]
Riding the Horse in the Direction It’s Going
Most people define their careers in terms of what exists. And they fit into a possibly well-defined career description. My first career – history – had not been well defined the two subfields – cultural history and evolutionary history – that I chose to specialize in at the time (1968-73). But to go further I […]
The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth
The music is Dream of the Brave, by esoundtrax at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onmJtJevGRA Think about it for a moment. How many holders of currency do you know who can be described as rich? And yet they will be. The meek are about to inherit the Earth. And when they do, it could be heady stuff. The feelings […]
When is the Wounded Child in the Driver’s Seat?
Whenever I feel guilt or shame or dismay, I can say with certainty that my Wounded Child is in the driver’s seat. I can say this with certainty because of what I saw and felt in a meditation I did at Xenia Retreat Center on Sept. 18, 2018. I saw the Self in the depths […]
From the Humpty Dumpty Man to Here: Completing the Fear of Being Wrong
The electricity is still off. Evidently a transformer is down. The thought of climbing up twelve flights of stairs has me decide to remain here in the darkness. I’ve resolved to use this time to complete the experience of the fear of being wrong. If I put a dent in fear itself in the process, […]
Reclaiming My Authority
Most people would encounter the lessons I’m learning over a gradual period of growing up. The process would be called “maturing.” But, because of dissociation at an early age due to domestic violence, I “matured” only slowly and incompletely. Like many others, I built a constructed self around my disabilities. Scrapper, activist, etc. The only […]
Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self
Eric Berne’s ego states are particularly helpful in looking at the operation I’m doing on myself. What Berne meant by “ego state,” I think, would be the same as what we mean by “states of consciousness.” “Ego’” here just means “I.” If I can adapt his terms, I grew up with a bad-parent ego state […]