Just as God enjoys the world through the senses of every one of us, so do I – who, like you, am that very God – enjoy the world through anything I become aware of. When I identify with the mind, I use it to create through. When I identify and operate as the ego, […]
Drama and Harmlessness – Part 1/2
As I go about observing my responses to things, seeing where I flip into potential harmfulness … OK, attack mode … I see that I cannot observe a vow to be harmless and yet engage in drama. The two are irreconcilable. They cannot both exist in the same space. A number of games in Eric […]
Starting Over: Finding a Way to Forgive Ourselves
I have many reasons for wanting to take the Federation of Light up on its invitation to forgive in a general way, to totally forgive, to forgive everything. And, by the way, I have to acknowledge that Kathleen was saying this some time ago. I was not ready. One of the reasons is that resenting […]
Drama and Harmlessness – Part 2/2
Concluded from Part 1, above.) I’m not becoming a zealot or a purist. (Doesn’t this sound like a juggling act?) I’m convinced that all this is happening because of three things: (1) The impact of the rising energies, (2) the approach of major events, and (3) the impact of my knowledge of future responsibilities – […]
Now or Never
I continue to focus my attention on how I am with other people, especially in conflict. I still spark and turn the other person into the enemy. I go out of relationship with them and break the connection over issues that arise. Recently Fedex lost a parcel of mine and I could have used the […]
When is the Wounded Child in the Driver’s Seat?
Whenever I feel guilt or shame or dismay, I can say with certainty that my Wounded Child is in the driver’s seat. I can say this with certainty because of what I saw and felt in a meditation I did at Xenia Retreat Center on Sept. 18, 2018. I saw the Self in the depths […]
No One Will Take Over the World
Happy Canada Day to our Canadian readers! The Divine Mother said to me in a reading April 30, 2019, that having anyone try to take over the world – it matters not who – was not part of her Divine Plan. And anything that was not part of her Plan would not happen: “[I am […]
Next Stage
Remaining aware of my issues, patterns, and interests, with my adult in the driver’s seat and me, the observer, in overall command, I seem able, if I wish, to remain fairly balanced, fairly “normal.” Part of the Arcturians’ challenge may have been met. (1) I may even soon be ready to offer my natural, innocent, […]
The Driver of a Team of Stallions
In the course of reparenting myself, I’ve now reached the point of imagining myself as having three sides (that I want to work with). I think of them as a triumvirate. The first is Big Steve, my Adult consciousness. The second is Little Steve, my natural, pure, and innocent Child consciousness. And the third is […]
A Dread Vasana
Today I vowed to encounter a feeling that I seem to dread experiencing. I’d never named it. I didn’t know what in the past it was connected to. I noticed I had the thought that I’d rather die than fully experience it. Linda Dillon calls this a “core issue.” I call it a “root vasana.” […]
Adult at the Steering Wheel
I’m going through a ridiculous dispute with PayPal. Clearly I’m reactivated. This is therefore a rant. They put a limitation on my account, which was cleared up – except for one thing. They needed documents to establish my identity. I furnished them with lots of documents, but there was a catch. All my official identity […]
Original Challenge from the Arcturians
After writing this article, I read Narendra Mishra’s reading, to be posted later today. In it, the Divine Mother tells us not to wait for an “event” but to do our work beforehand diligently. She said: “And will there be what you think of as the ‘mother storm’? The answer is yes. But do not […]
Validating Oneself
I wrote an article the other day and was very pleased with myself. I found myself saying, “Yay, Steve,” and then I mysteriously broke down in tears. I realized at that moment that I’d been starved of validation from my Father as a young child and instead fed a diet of invalidation. The classic criticism […]
Reclaiming My Authority
Most people would encounter the lessons I’m learning over a gradual period of growing up. The process would be called “maturing.” But, because of dissociation at an early age due to domestic violence, I “matured” only slowly and incompletely. Like many others, I built a constructed self around my disabilities. Scrapper, activist, etc. The only […]
Reconstructing the Deconstructed Self
Eric Berne’s ego states are particularly helpful in looking at the operation I’m doing on myself. What Berne meant by “ego state,” I think, would be the same as what we mean by “states of consciousness.” “Ego’” here just means “I.” If I can adapt his terms, I grew up with a bad-parent ego state […]
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