Seeing the script I have playing – and the discoveries that it’s leading to – is like an earthquake in my life. (1) And it’s led to numerous aftershocks.
It’s opened the door for me to complete the cycle of domestic abuse that occurred in our household.
It’s led to me see the identity I forged out of coping with the abuse – Good Boy for Mom and Bad Boy for Dad.
It’s led to me make changes in my lifestyle, changes that totally challenge and contradict my self-image as both a Good Boy and a Bad Boy.
On and on the impacts are felt, like so many tremors after the main quake.
***
Initially I simply saw that I had a two-handed script playing when I thought it was a single vasana (or core issue). Seeing that unconfused me.
Of course I intellectually knew the script existed. But now I got it. I realized it. I got it in my gut.
Intellectual knowledge is not a big enough shovel. We need the really big shovel of realization – whether minor or major – to get underneath something that underpins our whole identity.
I then recreated the game, as far as one can in one’s mind and from memory, and experienced what resulted. Instead of the two-handed script existing within me in a time capsule, I was watching the two participants in “real life” have at each other – Dad with arrogance leading to violence and Mom with disappointment leading to misery. I’d internalized their battles.
Worst of all, I had my Dad’s patterns in me, with a few alterations, like not hitting and kicking people. It took a lot of work on a lot of other people’s parts to have me see that. No different than my Dad.
I’d shaped my future life around coping with this kind of remembered repetitive situation. I saw that I followed a rut, my own crazy rendition of this same cycle. I might even double back if we missed a “station.”
For me the war was not over yet.
I might never have seen that I’m not my Mom and Dad’s arguments. But, in this recreation of the script, that I’ve been going through all day today, after having seen it, I was able to give back the two parts to the original cast and leave the play.
I invoke the Law of Elimination and Archangel Michael to take this script and the play it supports away from me, completely and forever. Aum/Amen.
***
In the meantime, I’m making changes in my life.
Continuing what the growth movement would call “pushing my edge,” I’m now taking back control of my time.
The Good Boy typically caves in and rises to the surface from a place of deep concentration to answer a phone call or a text message. My writing suffers.
No more Good Boy. I’m serious about my lightwork now. Yesterday, I turned my cellphone off for practically the whole day.
Wow. What a day that was.
I take my mission seriously and part of that mission is to produce a range of books on a range of subjects.
I’ve completed the book I always wanted to write, A Manual for Listeners. (2) I’m working on the book that I regard as likely my most-often-read in later years, Towards a Cross-Cultural Spirituality. (3)
Salvation, Redemption, Buddhahood, Nirvana, Sahaja, Vijnana, mukti, moksha, immortality, liberation, growing into a great tree – what difference does the name for Ascension or description of it make? The menu is not the meal.
So I’m pouring my heart into this book.
Then a book on higher-dimensional love. Then one on the divine states….. I’ve cut my work out for me.
Many, many fewer interruptions, scenic detours, distractions, etc. I no longer feel the need for them.
Time may have to stand still. I’m getting this done.
***
This has all emerged in me since whatever it was walked into me late June 6 or early June 7, 2021. I get that it wasn’t what we normally call a walk-in (a spirit who “takes over” the body while we usually leave). But something walked into me nonetheless.
I cannot bring myself to say that it was the unfoldment of something. No, I felt a presence beside me and that presence merged with me. I’ll ask Michael about it when next I speak with him.
I mention it so that you can see how the Company of Heaven are working with us and how we can work with ourselves.
Under the heading of “how we can work with ourselves,” following this merger by three months, I’ve practised self-awareness and have now seen the two-handed script that rained confusion down on me for my entire life. (4)
This lifetime for me is not about the social; it’s about my mission. And that resolve just keeps stiffening. I was not like this before June 6. So this is a definite change that we can use to help indicate progress in our Ascension.
To summarize, my mind is no longer divided because I don’t see (or realize) the underlying script that’s playing. It’s no longer a seedbed of confusion. And in the space thus created, I feel a huge commitment to the work.
Footnotes
(1) At first I didn’t want to go into the subject of the walk-in and so I phrased it gingerly:
“And there was a palpable feeling of something emerging from inside me, in just the same way that I had entered my body in my OOBE in 1977. I was being joined so to speak, not like it was at all intrusive. I don’t know who it was but I do know it wasn’t Michael.” (“And Here It Is,”
But then I felt braver talking about it. I recalled that I’d gone through a soul merge with my Oversoul in 2017 and wondered if this was another such type of experience.
“I merged with something. I can’t bring myself to deny the experience. I’m left to look for evidence or intuit. … Here then is the 2017 description I gave of a soul merge with my 7th-Dimensional Oversoul.” (“Mapping a Possible Soul Merge,”
(2) A Manual for Listeners at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/A-Manual-for-Listeners-R2.pdf
See also the articles in The Value of Listening at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/The-Value-of-Listening-3.pdf
(3) It’s the product of my heart. To end wars carried on in different names for the One God. To help the religions see that, on the basic premises as stated by their founders, they’re all saying the same thing. That’s the dream that inspires the book.
(4) As an aside, I think it confused my Father as well; he had the same pained expressions and gestures that I do – as if he has a divided mind. We’re probably watching how intergenerational transfer works.