If I don’t record my experiences, I’ll forget them.
If I want to be able to point to what happened later on, I have to record them.
I record here an experience I had after lecturing to a spirituality group birthed from Vaccine Choice Canada.
Interestingly I was not moved to record it. Or do anything with or about it for that matter. I had to push myself to record it. I was – and still am – in a desireless state. Let me explain.
This experience developed from Sunday evening to Tuesday afternoon. It was not a flashbang realizational experience. It was an expansion in my being.
I’ve known for I suppose two years that a download that I was born with was due to unpack soon. If this is it, it has left me in a state which I’m not at all surprised to find myself in (confident, competent, desireless, peaceful, balanced, etc.).
The Lord Arcturus described the download in 2019: the download conveyed “aspects or qualities, talents, capacities that would serve you and, in turn, of course, serve the grander Plan, the collective and ultimately the Mother.” (1)
I’d forgotten that one year after he described the holographic cell or download, Michael also addressed the fact that the download process had started. What he said was too long to be included here. I’ll include it in the footnotes. (2)
I also recall him saying that, when I move out into the public, I’d have enough memory to do the job. (3) And that he’d be right there beside me, etc. (4) The Company of Heaven would not leave me out there on my own. So the timing of this process – the first round of public speaking – also seems very appropriate.
During the first part of the experience, I felt as if I were going to break open. I now think this was the download breaking open, so to speak.
At that point I avoided all company. I turned off my cell and laptop. I was a little alarmed and desperately needed to be off by myself.
And then I remembered: I’m a servant of the Divine Mother. If anything is happening to me, it’s by her Divine Will. With that, I relaxed and allowed the experience to unfold.
I don’t remember if it was that Sunday night or the next morning. I felt a sudden opening within myself. I didn’t think of it as a heart opening. I thought of it as the download opening and creating space as part of its mission.
I was aware of inner expansion, inner space, inner stillness. The space grew until it seemed as big as a large cavern or grotto – inside me. I knew this space to be the Father energy – the stillness and silence and peace. It was nestled into a material “body by Mother.” I knew all of this to be me.
By the next day it had changed. Now I felt as if some powerful energy was emerging from me. Or wanting to emerge. Or merge. I was just aware of its presence.
At first I thought it was a walk-in, but Suzy Ward confirmed that no walk-in had happened.
After it came forth, exactly as if there were a second occupant in the body, I ended up feeling confident, competent, stable, self-trusting, peaceful, desireless. I had a lack of barriers. I had a sense of being ready.
I was no longer plagued by “what if’s.” I was no longer plagued by anything.
And there was a palpable feeling of something emerging from inside me, in just the same way that I had entered my body in my OOBE in 1977. I was being joined so to speak, not like it was at all intrusive. I don’t know who it was but I do know it wasn’t Michael.
I don’t think it was external events alone that determined the timing of this experience. I think my design committee – same as yours: the Divine Mother, your archangel, your guides, including your twin flame, and other interested parties – decided this was the time to activate the cell.
They decided the timing of my heart opening. Why not this?
I have to add that I asked for this experience. Ask and ye shall receive. I invoked the universal law and asked her last week for more consciousness. And here it is. This is just one more evidence that the Mother hears our prayers.
Years ago, Michael said to me, “with each ignition you will also feel a greater sense of the substance of who you really are.” (5) That is proving truer and truer with each passing year.
My pranams and thanks to the VCC spiritual group for inspiring me and providing the platform for this launch to occur.
(1) The Lord Arcturus in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, June 12, 2019. He went on:
“There is a [part of you] that is Arcturus and Arcturian, that carries that history, that lineage and that intelligence which you have highly valued in this life and in other lives, here [Arcturus] and elsewhere, that you can access. But you need to basically see yourself as going and sitting or accessing that quadrant of [yourself].
“It is not that you segment yourself because you have the full understanding of [Steve] but by immersing yourself, shall we say in it that way, by immersing yourself in that tiny sliver…, you are allowing the information, the capacities, the analysis, the experience, to really come to the surface.
“So that you can consciously begin to access it. It has primarily been under the surface for you this far. It has been more subconscious or even unconscious. And it was meant to be because we did not want you to distract yourself … from being Gaian and being fully present on this planet and for this mission.” (Loc. cit.)
(2) Archangel Michael discusses what he calls an “upgrade” and what I’ve called a download, a holographic cell that I was born with:
Archangel Michael: Do not turn down anything! So sometimes you have thought… Well, maybe if I slowed it down a bit, maybe if I paid closer attention to the details of what the input… Because think of it as a constant stream. Think of a computer, a constant stream of input coming into your mechanism called the brain.
Do not turn it down because what you are doing in the upgrades is literally learning how to access what is important to you, what is meaningful to you and yes to the collective but we are talking about you at this moment.
And so you don’t want to start, consciously or unconsciously, editing the input into your brain. Now, your heart repair [triple bypass] and oxygen flow is helping and has helped this biological issue enormously.
But part of you, as we also said, and this is an agreement that we have, is that you have agreed [to live] and you are living very much in the moment.
One of the difficulties of humans is that they have a proclivity to either live in the past (and it can be recent past or ancient past) or to project themselves and live in the future.
It is a very curious malaise that most of the human race – yes, most of the human race – chooses not to live in the moment. So you are living in the moment. And you say, “Yes Lord I’m very willing to live in the moment but I would like to be able to access my memories, recent events so I don’t feel like a fool.”
We hear you.
Steve:… Or lose my thought in the middle of a sentence or forget what I’m going into the kitchen for or, oh, it goes on and on… Crazy.
AAM: Now, think of the electric blue. Yes, the Porlana C that has been pouring into you. Let us increase it rather than decrease it. What we are doing and we are doing it even now as we are speaking, we are making all those synapses, all those electrical systems, all the upgrade a brilliant neon blue so that the entire brain, all hemispheres’ functions will be more clearly firing.
Now the biggest impediment, and I know you, sweet one, the biggest impediment to this being fully effective is concern so let us do our job. You give me the worry and let us proceed with the completion of the upgrade. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 5, 2020.) [Hereafter AAM.]
(3) Archangel Michael: You will have enough of a memory, dear heart. Do not worry about it. (AAM, April 13, 2016.)
(4) Steve: How can I do public speaking? I don’t know what to say.
Archangel Michael: Always I will let you know when it is time to speak and in what capacity. We are together, dear brother – do not for a moment forget this. (AAM, July 7, 2011.)
AAM: I am never far away. (AAM, April 26, 2011.)
AAM: My overlighting of you is very strong and I would like to think perfect. And of course it is perfect. (AAM, April 26, 2011.)
(5) AAM, May 6, 2013.