Credit: pngimg.com
(Concluded from Part 1, yesterday.)
I had such a classic example of old programming going off this morning, exactly as I was working on this article. I have to relate it here.
A friend phoned earlyish in the morning and asked me a favor which was at the limits of inconvenience. I said “no,” but then relented (I’m a Good Boy).
From that moment on I began to exact a price by resenting. I put tension in my stomach. I created a grumpy mood. I accessed a set of saved and stored records containing my best lines, expressions, and gestures.
I resolved to persist until I got an extra special “thank you!” Everyone (my mind and body) had their mission, so to speak, and went to work. This was no drill. This was not Toy Story.
This was a Good Boy pouting and – worse – rebelling. It shades into a Good Boy exerting control over another and trying to shape their thinking; i.e., “train” them.
I next watched myself standing in just the right place to meet them, with a certain expression on my face, having prepared everything carefully, and waiting for my expected (notice the future-binding here – expected) extra special thank you.
Well, I got it and I watched myself stand down. Crisis over. Mission completed.
OMG. I just watched myself trigger and run an old program – in real time.
And I resort to programs a lot.
I never saw it until now but this is drinking the poison, hoping they’ll die.
I’m only harming myself. I’m not harming them in the slightest.
But this is what … OK, some of us … do. I’m probably not the only one. (1)
What I was about to do was all fashioned by that precipitate of all our conclusions about life and people and our decisions flowing out of them.
Call it vasanas, core issues, old baggage, childhood trauma – the name doesn’t matter. It’s our old programming, which we trigger to get what we want in life, to train people, to control them, and have them do what we want.
And here I was acting it out. And I’m either congratulating myself on the desired effect or feeling depressed that I’m never going to get what I want from this person.
Which it turns out is (wait for it) love.
This is all upside down. Not least of all because love comes from my own heart. But let’s leave that leviathan aside for the moment.
In this particular instance with my friend, I stumbled along, my old programming playing, and me ignoring it and being my usual cheerful self instead. It was awkward but I made it through without (once again) dirtying my own nest.
That’s what attempts to control are, aren’t they? Unless they’re mandated by necessity, attempts to control only have us dirty our own nest. And then everyone agrees not to talk about it. (We call this “relationship.”)
Why else would we be told that freewill is a universal law? Freewill is a design feature of the game called life. Control, unless necessary as in a house on fire, ultimately fails, as the Mother remin ds us:
Divine Mother: It is painful for a being that seeks power for themselves or power over another, whether it is a parent over a child, a husband over a wife, a man over an army. It matters not.
The yearning [for], the exercise of control never gives joy. The pain simply grows. And so the actions become more grotesque, larger, until the breakdown is and has [been] and will be occurring. (2)
When I really, really get that, down to my toes, I’ll stop listening to my old programs and trying to control others and the outcome.
Meanwhile life obligingly gives me one opportunity to get it after another.
Footnotes
(1) Misery loves company.
(2) Transcript ~ The Divine Mother: Take Up Your Divine Authority, AHWAA, February 23, 2017, http://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/02/28/transcript-divine-mother-take-divine-authority-ahwaa-february-23-2017/.