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/ Home / News / Personal Growth / Breakthrough / Sitting on My Inner Child
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Sitting on My Inner Child

August 4, 2020 by Steve Beckow

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Sitting on my inner child….

I was going through wave after wave of anger, experiencing it through to completion now that the vasana of father hatred was at last up.

I resolved to be angry for as long as it took for the light to go on.

And the light went on when I asked myself:  What is the cost of it?

I saw in my inner vision a boulder sitting on my inner child and keeping it down.

It was like a Sumo wrestler sitting on me. I kept myself down with father hatred.

The guardian had turned into a guard.

When I saw that, I burst into tears. And I cried. I was doing it to myself.

Then I no longer wanted the hatred and became Superman, in creative thought, invoking the universal law and throwing the boulder back to the Mother. I was unequivocal this time.

For the first time since we started, I feel that hostile, guarded “edge” has gone.  I’ve always guided myself on whether that edge is still there. This absence is relief, release.

The truth will set you free and I feel release. Release suggests I got part of it or all of it. We shall see.

If I’m finished with this one, and I never take it for granted, but if I were, I’d be released from bondage to anger and hostility. That would be a great blessing. I’d be very grateful.

It’d allow me to go forward … and inward.

I wonder if I’ve learned enough from this one to let it go and open to the next lesson?

I think I have.

 

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Filed Under: Breakthrough, Character Reformation, Deconstructing the Constructed Self/Mask, Experiencing the Vasana Completely, Peeling the Onion, Polishing the Statue, Recovering from Anger, Relationships and Vasanas, Self-Command, Steve Beckow, Upset Clearing Process, Vasanas/Early Childhood Trauma, Wounded Child Consciousness State

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