If you were the Humpty Dumpty man, had a great fall, and smashed into a million pieces, how would you put yourself back together again?
What mantra/affirmation would you use?
I am one?
Sixty-six years after dissociating in that way, I’m nearing the point of becoming one again. (1) I never want to say the process is complete because another aspect of it immediately appears.
When Constant Comment (2) disappeared recently, my ability to meditate was enhanced and my desire to meditate increased. I was able to really “get into” my meditation in a way I hadn’t previously.
Keep in mind that I asked Archangel Michael to help me expand, get bigger to handle the duties being asked of me. I consider the events that are happening are related to that request.
I should mention as well that Michael and I have a system of communicating. He gives me a jolt in the right arm that means “yes.” “No” is no response at all and a feeling of certainty that the answer is no.
What’s missing from the description of the meditation, below, are all the jolts Michael gave me confirming I was on the right path or to try this or go deeper with that.
Much of the description that follows has been rendered while events were happening. I consciously would leave the process to write down something I did not want to forget. (3)
I realize stopping to write while in the middle of an experience limits the depth I can reach. But I’m first of all a pathfinder and only secondarily a seeker.
All of us have already ascended in other lifetimes. We’ll all enjoy that status again later. Meanwhile there’s brush to clear.
I’ve never been in a meditation before that unfolded as quickly as this one did.
The first thing that occurred for me was that “there can only be one of me” arose in my mind as a decree. “I am one” arose as an affirmation. And using them actually produced a pacifying effect on me, a very salutary effect.
A process culminating in reassembly then took place in response to my decree.
Being, as a meditation, for me means the relinquishing of all activity of the body, mind, and emotions, while allowing the activity of the Observer/Self to continue. It means surrendering all to the One.
As the meditation progressed, I discovered that beingness and surrender were the same thing.
To be = to surrender
Thinking of it as surrendering helped me become still and silent. Silent is especially hard for me because I keep having a thought and in an instant I’m writing an article in my head.
I notice how much easier it is however to “be” without Constant Comment.
At one point I had the intuition that something was about to happen. I’ll pick up the thread tomorrow.
(To be concluded tomorrow.)
(1) I was severely dissociated after my Dad yelled at me from inches away from my face, when I was around 7. I shattered into a million pieces. The next fifty years were spent discovering that I was dissociated and then putting myself back together again.
(2) Constant Comment is the gaggle of carping critics that sit on one’s shoulder and spoil every thought, feeling, and action. A dissociated person would be expected to have more of them.
See “I Feel Happy, Said the Troll Under the Bridge,” August 24, 2020, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/?p=312813.
(3) I’m an Ascension ethnographer and journalist. While I’m interested in the process and the outcome, my first priority is to record what happens.