Ever since June 6, 2021, I’ve been going through rapid changes – in what I like and don’t like, in my moods and actions.
You recall that I had the experience of some being or energy field merging with me that night. (1)
The changes are reaching places that shock me when I contemplate them. And it’s very hard to talk about it, but it’s my job to do so.
Something that has been growing in me since forever is asserting itself. It’s a hugely basic choice that has figured in the background of my whole life.
I’ve been in low-level cognitive dissonance because I keep making the choice I should make instead of the one I want to make.
The inner conflict is between mission and relationship. In 99% of Hollywood movies, relationship wins out in the end.
But not in my movie. I am – and have always been – mission-driven. I’ve compromised and placated, kept the peace and finagled, etc., to get the time I need and want to research and write.
And to meditate.
I’m not here this lifetime to raise children or run a household, as wonderful as those can be.
I’m here to help introduce new ways of seeing things – mostly about the inner us – that ease our transition into higher dimensionality.
I’m here to create a literature. Yes, a literature.
When I asked the Mother about my mission, she replied:
Divine Mother: You have chosen long, long ago with Me, with Annastara [my twin flame], with ME KI AL to be a communicator and an agent of change. …
You’ve said to me, “Mother, what if they forget? I will remind them. I will communicate with them through words, through my passion, through my heart, through my knowing. I will communicate the love to them.”
This is your task and it is a task of change as this planet in this great chaos in flux, chooses, yes, by this wonderful instrument of free will, as they choose and as you choose, to simply be the love. (2)
I love that my task is exactly what I want to do anyways. I feel no dissonance between my task and my passion.
The literature I want to produce will be cross-cultural, intergalactic, and interdimensional.
My contribution to it will be in transformational spirituality, growth, and philosophy.
All of this traces back to June 6.
Here are other impacts of what I felt that night to be a merge.
My tolerance for chit chat has fallen away. I can at the most tolerate a one-on-one conversation. Any more and it tends towards pleasantries and I want to run away.
I now understand the Zen monk who catapulted himself from a conversation in the Vancouver Zen Center where I was living the minute the conversation turned to pleasantries.
I don’t by any stretch of the imagination consider this to be a final resting point. I’m sure it’s a phase I’m going through but I look very anti-social in it. I’m shocked by my own inclinations.
But it’s the price I pay for delving into the secrets that the Mother, archangels, and ascended masters are daily communicating to us. They often speak in chapter headings and we need to supply the details from comparative research. We need to connect the dots and I enjoy connecting them.
What difference does it make whether I’m creating in marble or in text? There’s creation going on.
I’m going to start with a book that will summarize all the diverse themes we’ve been looking at. I can’t wait to get down to it.
If I don’t get it done before the Reval, it’ll be an early project after. And you can bet your boots the ideas for writing/historical/archival projects after the Reval are popping like popcorn.
I haven’t been honoring my impulses to get on with it. But the internal pressure is building. I’m going to become a blithering idiot if I don’t get down to work.
(1) See “Mapping a Possible Soul Merge,” August 12, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/08/12/324500/ and “And Here It Is,” June 11, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/06/11/and-here-it-is/.
(2) The Divine Mother in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, April 30, 2019 at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/06/01/the-divine-mother-it-is-all-a-journey-of-love/.