As you know, I need to use this time to sandpaper some of my rougher qualities if I’m to be of use later on.
Part of an Ascension ethnography is the cleansing or purification phase, known to all terrestrial students of enlightenment.
However, things have changed now with the rising energies, it seems. Vasanas that would have remained deeply buried appear to be rising to the surface all over the place, like calving glaciers.
I know they’re coming up fast and thick for me.
And all of it is arising to be swept away, as Michael explained in May 2019:
“Everything that has need to be eliminated, everything that has need to be relinquished, everything that needs to be healed in this cesspool that we call ‘chaos’ has need to come to the surface.
“Otherwise – and this has happened many, many times in human history – there is a belief, there is a healing, an accommodation, a remedy, and then the human collective tends to think, ‘Okay, now it is cleaned up. Now it is healed. Now it is done.’
“But the core issues [i.e., the vasanas] – of the collective, and of course of the individuals, have not been addressed, and therefore it simply settles in and it festers.
“In this part of the infinite, eternal unfoldment of our Mother’s Plan, it all has need to be surfaced so that this subtle and actual festering until it again boils over cannot happen. It is simply, in your time and in the Mother’s time, the juncture at which this has to be healed. So it continues to rise to the surface.” (1)
I can live with that.
I can give you an example of a core issue that arose for me in the course of working away at something this morning. I was imagining talking to an employee at Michaelangelo & Partners and I said, at the end, “We’re good.”
And I suddenly found myself doubled up in pain and tears.
Never when I was growing up was I told I was good. I succumbed to the criticism and blame from the male side of our family and took upon myself the identity that I was bad. Hey, this is common, garden-variety family stuff.
To hear the word, “We’re good” come out of my mouth was like someone announcing I’d won the lottery. Words I’d never heard before.
This is a core issue. I’m still weeping as I write.
In the course of reparenting myself, I’m coaxing my wounded Child to come back across the line that divides people, in their own minds, into “good” and “bad.” And there is resistance born of fear.
I can tell you for a positive fact, on my own authority, that we are at essence pure and innocent. Xenia showed me that. (2)
So we are good. Unwittingly I’d just expressed a deep and transcendent truth: We are good. At essence we are pure and innocent, the essence of goodness.
Goodness has been in disrepute since the Sixties but it may be time to bring it back again.
It’s territory that I haven’t ventured into for so long my mouth is mentally agape. In my own mind, I’m a bad man dressed up to look good. And why am I bad? Ask Dad.
It’s these core issues we need to clear. It’s these that Michael describes as being raised to the surface to be taken from us once and for all. (3)
So I’m sandpapering myself, grateful that we have a bit more time before anything big happens. I want to be ready for the historic.
(1) “Archangel Michael: Victory is at Hand!” May 10, 2019, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/05/10/archangel-michael-victory-is-at-hand/.
(2) That I knew for a certainty out of my experience at Xenia. See “Original Innocence,” Sept. 21, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/21/original-innocence-2/
(3) For me to consider myself to be a “good” person is for me to have transcended a huge core issue. It looks so simple, so innocuous. But it’s like trying to push an iceberg.
Most of any vasana (core issue) remains unexpressed, hidden like the better part of an iceberg. Only rarely do we fully express ourselves in the course of experiencing one through to completion.
I had the privilege of being able to do that on a four-month resident fellowship at Cold Mountain Institute in 1975-76 (I believe). It was a carousel of week-long workshops in growth and spirituality with an ongoing encounter group in the evenings.
But most people don’t have that opportunity and so, as Michael pointed out, most of our issues remain uncleared, lurking below the surface, awaiting being triggered once again.
For some assistance with clearing them, see “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process,” December 29, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/12/29/how-to-handle-unwanted-feelings-the-upset-clearing-process-2/