by Digger Barr
It was a huge spider. No, It was a huge ass spider!
I am not even kidding. I don’t remember screaming but apparently when the neighbor called to check if everything was okay, it must have been loud.
My friend spotted it first. Well, it was her apartment so things like a nasty ass spider would stand out to her.
She said ” Thats the biggest spider I have ever seen”.
Sitting in the living room chair next to her I immediately gathered up my feet and tucked them into the chair with me.
Then I reached down and picked up my shoes. Bundled into the chair, I twisted my head to get a look.
I couldn’t see it from my angle but that didn’t matter I could feel it.
My friend laughed at my reaction. ‘You’re just going to draw it to you’, she said.
‘Its just a wolf spider’, she said.
None of these comments comforted nor calmed my feeling.
Suddenly the spider darted across the floor and went directly under my chair.
My friend gave the breaking news report. Its gone under your chair.
Egads, I pulled the throw blanket up and hugged my shoes to my knees. I turned from side to side and peered over the edge.
Checking one side I saw nothing.
Turning to check the other side, It was right there !
On the side of the chair near my shoulder staring me down.
Oh lord, I leaped from the chair, apparently screaming and circled back around where I could keep it in my sights.
It scrambled down the chair and hesitated on the floral skirting.
I looked at my shoe. It was a new shoe and still clean on the bottom. With not even a dirt clod in the tread, I was saddened by its new role.
This overwhelming dread filled me as I knew what I needed to do.
I didn’t want that type of Karma or for my shoe to be a weapon but we were past that point.
This spider had intention and I felt it from the get go.
It was only a matter of time.
I waited for it to make a move. Swatting it from the skirting wasn’t a good strategy.
We sized each other up. My squeamish creep factor was peaking.
It moved to the floor.
I brought the shoe down.
It was flattened.
I got even more creeped out. I knew I had to finish it.
My friend was in hysterical laughter. The neighbor was going for the phone.
I got a paper towel and grimaced as I felt the lump in my hands. I couldn’t do it. I creep out just writing about it.
I mustered up my resolve to finish this mess, wrapped the carcass into a paper grave and put it into the garbage.
Sorry I said. I didn’t want to have to do that.
What were you thinking?
Never mind, I already know.