(Concluded from Part 1, above.)
To review, first, what happens in this cycle is that discussion of a matter is left until one party is ready to blow. That in itself is not a great strategy.
Download Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-17.pdf
Communication needs to happen sooner and on a regular basis until it becomes second nature. Until it flows, as it did with us after three months of encounter at Cold Mountain Institute.
Second, we have to be committed to this process – or get out of the relationship and save those who are committed a lot of trouble.
I know what love is (1) and I know that love cannot flourish in a relationship that doesn’t handle conflict.
If you’re a drama queen, this may be the wrong nest for you. I’m only speaking to the committed. I know, I know. Tough words. But we are in the middle of a war; we need to communicate; and we can’t afford to watch frustration build in our lightworker relationships, not with a war on and a Reval coming.
Third, the speaker needs to communicate the information that’s vital. That is:
(A) How we’re feeling
(B) What we want to see happen
(C) What our situation is
(D) What role we’re willing to play
(E) What we need from the other person.
The other person needs to listen – really listen. (2) Not do two things at once. Not deny the person a face to speak to. Not be doing our shopping list in our head.
The listener now knows how the other person feels, which they can use to gauge the urgency of the situation. They know what the other person wants and what their situation is. They know what the speaker is doing and willing to do in the future about the situation and what help they need.
I’m only going to deal with “opening up” communication here. I’m not inspired, because that’s what’s happening, to discuss how the listener might want or need to respond to, address, or avoid conflict.
That inspiration hasn’t come through yet. You’ll be the first to know: “This just in!”
Unless a person is committed to drama, then going about communicating in a sincere and open way, without blaming or shaming, when a want or need comes up and being met and received by the other with a corresponding degree of sincerity should be enough to take the process of frustration build-up out of the relationship.
There is then the other side of the exchange: What we do with the communication. I’ll know more about that when the information comes in.
Seriously I have my overload limit. Where’s my coffee? One thing at a time here!
Download Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-17.pdfLeaving the Cycle of Conflict 17
(1) See Love Like We Never Imagined It to Be at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Love-Like-We-Never-Imagined-It-to-Be-R13.pdf
- Are You Listening? at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Are-You-Listening-R5.pdf
- A Manual for Listeners at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/A-Manual-for-Listeners-R3.pdf
- The Value of Listening at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/The-Value-of-Listening-3.pdf