It seems that sometimes our experiences are more clearly understood with the passage of time.
The clearing of my “humiliation thread” or vasana (core issue) was super-painful. But more about it is becoming available several days later.
I now find that even the smallest infraction of the rules brings with it an experience of humiliation. Or maybe I’m more sensitive now than before. Whatever the case, the increase in the experience of humiliation when I break the rules was not something I’d have predicted earlier.
But it makes sense. If we’re going to handle large sums of money after the Reval on behalf of the people of Earth, I believe we’re going to need to be squeaky clean.
Today I violated the Covid rules of my neighborhood coffee shop in a very minor way – and was upbraided for it. I have a medical reason for the transgression and I’ll sort it out with the manager tomorrow.
But even that small transgression was enough to have me feel humiliated. At the same time, however, what I discovered as the “work” of humiliation was very educational.
I sat and sat with the feeling, gradually sorting out what I should have done (asked for permission beforehand) and what that says about my barge-ahead manner. How little that is going to work in the years ahead! So the incident was instructive from that angle.
I saw that even that minor an infraction was no longer OK with my inner guide. I either follow the (moral, ethical, and sound) rules or I don’t. Where I’ll be going, I’ll need to be reliable for following the (moral, ethical, and sound) rules, period, full stop. So, again, instructive.
And, yes, I know about fascism and dictatorship and the manipulation of the masses … I guess a little like what the deep state is attempting today. I’ve left several gurus who were guilty of misrepresentation and worse.
But I also feel certain that no bad can come from serving the Divine Mother.
Except I do need to serve her. If I don’t, in my case, I feel humiliated.
Put another way, I’m becoming aware of just how vigilant I’m going to need to be about my integrity. I thought I was before, but, if I don’t want to go through some hard bumps (humiliation) later, I’d better increase that vigilance.
I feel much clearer about things at this stage of our Ascension process. My memory is terrible but I feel clearer on what I need to do and what not.
I can’t say that I’m doing all that well in all my personal dealings. I’m inconsistent and, again, that’s not a good trait for the work I’ll be doing.
There will eventually be an elevation where everything will fall into place automatically; I know because I’ve spent time in that setting. When we’re safely in the Fifth Dimension, the problem will disappear, evaporate, cease to exist. In place of all the worry and concern will be love.
I notice that, when I see that I need to be squeaky clean to do this job, there’s more readiness and willingness on my part to agree and acquiesce these days. I’m not going, “Oh, gosh, heaven’s no. What did I get myself into?”
The agreement is much readier, smoother, and more genuine. I hope that’s an indication of progress, of energetic or vibrational uplift and shift.
You have to remember that you’re talking to a career complainer, who got attention when he was young by putting a stick in the spokes. No one – least of all me – thought I’d ever grow up.
Meanwhile, I did ask Michael to help me prepare for the Post-Reval work. I guess this is how he’s doing it!
Later that evening….
I notice that I’ve become super-sensitive to humiliation. A jolt of it operates on me similarly to an electric shock.
I also see that I have very thin skin. Not a great combination.
I noticed this evening that the slightest task left undone brought on a jolt of the feeling. It seemed like boot camp from an invisible instructor.
Things that would have been normal for me ten years ago are no longer possible or feasible. I do notice a greater lightness of vibration, mood, attitude, etc., but that’s what’s inviting me to stop doing whatever humiliates me (since in later life I’m now the one doing the humiliating).
I’m being required to look at every area of my life and bring it into integrity if it isn’t already. Or I get an electric shock, so to speak.
At some deep level, I’ve known that a day would come when I’d be required to get conscious. What did Isaiah say?
“Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain.” (Isaiah 40:4.)
Everything hid shall be made known. If this isn’t that day, it’s a dress rehearsal.