It was the end of November. I was back from the hospital with railway tracks up my chest and down my leg, feeling unattractive and forlorn.
And Christmas was coming. Thinking of that and how most people would be caught up in family celebrations, I was feeling alone, lonely, and dismayed. I asked for his advice.
This is what he said. I’m aware that he’s encouraging me to enter into relationship.
I share this, even though it’s pretty personal, in the hope that it resonates with someone in the same position.
Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Nov. 26, 2019.
Archangel Michael: On the one hand, beloved brother, you say to me, Me Ki Al, I am lonely. As I gaze around me at these human configurations, [I see] families and friendships and I yearn for this. So that is one factor.
And then you proceed, sweet one, to tell me – and to feel, more importantly – that you are damaged goods.
Is it not curious – and I simply invite you to look at this with me – that you judge yourself. You say “Well, no, Lord! This is not judgement. This is discernment.” And I suggest to you that what you are doing is you are judging yourself the way that so many human beings judge themselves.
Because it is not merely about railroad tracks [on your chest] or this or that. It is about the feeling that your situation and your capability to engage in true, deep, meaningful relationship is not truly present, that it has not in any way shape or form truly succeeded or ended up in a situation where there was true sacred-union partnership.
But this is the difficulty. This is the paradigm. This is the old construct that you are helping to transmute and transform upon the planet.
This division between what you yearn for and what you think you can’t have is the difficulty, the greatest challenge of humanity.
I yearn for love but I cannot have it because I am damaged goods or I’m in love with someone who is nonresponsive or there is not a pool from which to choose.
When we have begun this day, I have said to thee, that you are in the process of healing and you have been reconstructed and reconstituted, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually because you have decided, beloved, to continue on. But it is not a situation where you decided to continue on simply meandering and wandering about the face of this beautiful planet.
You have decided to continue on because you wish to anchor the paradigm of Nova Earth and Nova Being.
Now there are beings that have decidedly, on purpose, come to the planet to venture forth alone. But those beings, of which you are not one, are very few and far between. And they have quite specific motivations and mission.
So what we are asking of you, and, beloved friend, what I am working with you on, well, first is this deep, not only acceptance – for you are in a good place of acceptance; not a happy place but a good place – but you need to move from acceptance to truly the biggest embrace.
I wish you, with me, to look at my mirror – it is one of the gifts I have given [you] long ago – and to truly see who you are. You are intelligent. You are wise. You are balanced and you have the ability to engage, to be effusive, humorous, loving, kind, gentle … in an attractive physical package. (1)
So often in the human realm, you say and you have encountered others who say, “Oh, I cannot be in relationship because I have been abused as a child or I have failed at marriage or I am too busy at work.”
These are but excuses based on fear of failure, based on fear of truly being seen and engaged with and this is what you are truly yearning for… (2) It’s not some engagement beyond superficial [which you have had], but never to the depth or height that you are yearning for, that true exposure.
Well, I suggest you, my dear, dear, dear friend, that you haven’t done this yet and, therefore, it lies ahead of you. And let me say to you, it lies directly ahead of you. Because you do not only desire but deserve this sense of family in its most narrow sense and in its most broad sense.
So, yes, there are many, as you say, friends online but that is not going to keep you warm at night. That is not what inspires you to share a meal or a movie or a moment. So we are not discouraging you from proceeding in that direction.
You are still recuperating and part of that recuperation is in fact a fuller embrace of your totality – yes, railroad tracks and all.
Dearest one, this conversation is beginning, not ending.
(1) What? Say again?
(2) This is so true for me. He has just described my programming.