by Nancy Troupe
We, as Light Warriors, are here on Gaia to shine Light on the darkness of anger, greed, and hate and to send Love to all to help raise the vibration of the planet. This is a very common message coming from so many enlightened avenues. This is important, as important as it gets.
But today I want to remind the lightworker community that we can’t forget about ourselves. I find myself shining Light on, and sending Love to, myself more and more often lately, because I’m finding that I REALLY need it and have needed it for so very long.
When I see pain and sadness in my past and realize that I did it to myself and to others, it is not only humbling, but often debilitating and devastating. How could I have said that? Why didn’t I see the truth? Why didn’t I think for myself?
Universal Mother has long urged us to love ourselves, care for ourselves, nurture ourselves. (1) Her recent messages are timely as I have been beating myself up about my past actions, blaming myself for what I considered mistakes and poor choices throughout my life. Blaming others, too: those “authority” figures.
Raised to always follow the rules to win parental approval in my good Catholic home and teacher approval in my early Catholic-school education led to patterns in adulthood that have been presenting themselves to me more and more, like layers of the proverbial onion peeling off. Even after somewhat rebellious and exploratory years during my twenties when I was on my own, as I got older, did I replace those early authority figures with my husband? With my employer? Perhaps even with friends who had more “status” in our circle because of money and position in the community?
So when I go into the darkness of judging myself or others, after the tears and agony, after the exhaustion, eventually I end up asking myself, How is this self-battering going to help in my ascension process? And isn’t my ascension important for Gaia’s ascension? I don’t want to let her and all of her beautiful inhabitants down. Guilt and shame must be transmuted back into Love.
Forgiveness–not just of others, but also of ourselves–is so very important if we are going to move forward. It’s something that I struggle with daily. But isn’t this what personal growth is all about: looking deep within, studying what we find, and giving it back to the Father/Mother to be transmuted into Love?
In reading a GAOG post from Narendra Mishra recently (2), I was struck by his reminder that “As above, so below. Our Consciousness, our sense of self-worth, dictates our external manifestation.” In other words, we need to get right with ourselves first before we can expect any desired outward changes in the world. So, knowing that, I’d say I had better get busy.