by Pamela Kribbe
Dear friends, I greet you. I am Mary.
On our side, we are fully aware of how heavy and dense reality on Earth can appear to you at times. But know that we are with you and come as near to you as possible in order to support you. Feel our energy in this room. Feel there is a certain lightness that wants to come to you, so allow it. I come with the same number of children at my side as there are people present here. These are children who represent your energy. In each one of you lives a child; it is your most original essence; it holds something of your deepest inspiration. See them around me, smiling, dancing about, merry.
The children of Pamela and Gerrit are also here, and together we form a circle. Notice the child that belongs to you, and allow it to come near you and to sit down beside you or on your lap. Allow it to be with you and feel how something lives in this child that is untouched by the heaviness of the earthly reality. The child has something that is original, carefree, and limitless. Feel the bubbling laughter of that child and make it welcome. Life is meant to be celebrated, to be experienced with joy. You are allowed to experience joy in your life, and this often involves the simplest things.
Say “yes” to yourself as you are now, with the problems you experience, the physical symptoms, maybe, and the stress and worry. Just say “yes” to yourself. You are completely okay the way you are. Look into the eyes of the child in you and see the beauty of it, the unspoiled nature, the hope, the aliveness. The child in you does not give up, it wants to live. It is often your own thoughts that entrap you and stop the movement of life within you. Any time you feel stuck, it is not really the feelings that are stuck, but the thoughts that have come to certain conclusions and interpretations that make you decide: “I am stuck.”
Life is a stream of flowing energy, and there is something in you that also wants to flow. That is not to say that life always feels nice and pleasant, but that there is always a current present in your soul that flows along with the highs and the lows, the dark and the light. Whenever you resist that current, you make yourself stuck and you create a situation that appears to be static. Yet, even then, life is never really at a standstill.
What happens when you are caught in resistance, when you tell yourself that things will not work out, when you make too harsh a judgment about your situation? In the worst case scenario, it happens that you are going to feel awful about yourself and talk yourself into feeling down-hearted. You then find yourself in an energy field that is the start of depression; you feel flat and somber, unclear and muddled. That is what happens when you stifle the energy and it cannot flow; it becomes a nebulous twilight zone.
Observe yourself when that happens to you, and see if this is a pattern that you recognize. With some persons, it happens more often than with others. When there are moments in your life that you feel despondent, and you think: “I am too overwhelmed, I can’t do it any more”, go there with your attention and breathe in deeply and exhale fully. Feel that there is so much inside you that wants to move, that wants to live, that wants to experience joy, and trust that stream. Notice when you are drawing certain conclusions, and at what point you become stuck. Feel the difference between what wants to be alive in you and that feeling of overwhelm.
Behind that judgment is pain, so make that pain palpable. Feel the sadness behind it, the fear. Allow that feeling to come into the light: “I am afraid; I feel so alone.” Dare to face these feelings, because doing that is your salvation. At the moment you allow those feelings to reveal themselves is when you connect again with life, with what would flow in you. When these emotions are felt in your body, is when you can bring comfort to them with your inner light – so try it.
Imagine that you bring light to the pain you feel about your life. Create a circle of light around these supposed failings: the feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, and fear. Imagine that you look at them with compassion and you say “yes” to them all: “This pain belongs to me and I accept it as a part of me”. What a relief it is to allow the pain to be there! When you observe the pain, the resistance, without judgment, then things can begin to flow again. It is when you are in opposition to your negativity that problems arise and you remain stuck there longer than is necessary. Give up the resistance.
Everything that is has a reason for existence, has an origin that is valid. Embrace those parts of you that you find the most difficult, which have the heaviest emotions. Imagine that you do it with an energy that is alive, and allow this energy to see the child in you that is still joyful, vibrant, and open to life in the depth of its being. This child in you is a symbol of life: your strength, your vitality, and it can never be broken, it is indestructible. It is God itself who flows through you.
Allow that energy to cleanse you of worries and of what presses you down. Feel it as a cascading fountain around you. You are allowed to be who you are. Take a moment to look back through the past few months. Feel how brave you have been, how you have looked directly at certain things. Please look at what you have accomplished. There is always something you have learned or have achieved. If you do not see that, it means that you are not looking honestly. See one concrete thing, something you have managed well, something you are satisfied with, and allow it to appear of itself. Find that something of which you feel some pride. Find that something you feel good about and give yourself that recognition. Name the qualities you demonstrated. Was it courage, was it perseverance? Was it honesty, sincerity, trust? Recognize that quality within yourself. Dare to allow the negative current that is there within you to transform itself into a positive one.
I say, dare, and that probably sounds somewhat extreme, because at one level you want nothing better than to think positively. But there is also a level at which you cling to the negative because it is almost a kind of addiction. Negativity can sometimes be a type of hiding place, because then it allows you to not have to do anything. If you always tell yourself: “I can’t do this”, then what you are saying, in fact, is: “I don’t need to live life any more, I can withdraw to that small place I have secured for myself, and I don’t need to be or do anything more.” It can therefore be a kind of enslavement, an excuse for negative judgments.
Consider for a moment what the payoff is when you look at yourself so critically. Why do you do it? Is there anything in it, even a little something that somehow makes you feel secure, gives you a certain kind of safety, even if it is merely in some slightly distorted way? It can sometimes feel safe to make yourself small and stay in a rut, but that is really your fear of what might happen if you fully participate in life.
By participating in life, we mean you really open up to the experiences that come your way by daring to explore new territory, by stepping into the unknown and by authentically feeling – and that is greatness! It has nothing to do with how well you perform in the world, or what you accomplish, but with what you allow yourself to fully feel, and diving into that feeling. It is greatness to enter into the depth of all that life has to offer in the way of feelings and emotions.
To openly enter into that greatness is what life is really about, although it sometimes feels too much for you. See what you do to yourself when you close off yourself and surround yourself with certain judgments in your head of what can and cannot take place for you and which roads are closed to you. It is actually a pseudo death that you enter into when you no longer want to be engaged in life and to not be here any longer. But this cannot be; it goes against life itself. Death does not really exist; there is no such thing as an absolute standstill, a non-existence, a non-being. Everything that is, is – it exists. And because of that, life is always moving and evolving, and it continues on its way and takes on new experiences. I ask you to open up to that flow. It is a flow of love, a flow of joy that wants to be with you.
Take the child by the hand and trust it. Precisely in its innocence, its openness, and its vulnerability, it is the wisest part in you because it always chooses for life, over and over again. The child never has its fill of life! Allow yourself to be enthused again by this inner child. Open yourself to life.
I will leave it at that for today. Thank you very much.