As the Reval creeps closer, I become more and more aware of how my unfinished business lurks and could become magnified in the future with the release that sudden wealth will provide.
And I’m reminded, when I attempt to visualize what could happen, of an encounter I had with someone I could only call my ego and how it frightened the daylights out of me (internal) and my wife (external – I’ll explain).
I notice, from watching, that the ego wants to take exception, be right, be noticed, be acknowledged, strut and posture, be waited upon, and so on.
It wants to be the center of the world. (1)
It suddenly surfaced one day, as if to introduce itself.
I remember how shocked my wife and I were.
I can’t tell you what she saw via my external expression but it scared her half to death. What I saw from inside my body was a typical red devil, complete with horns and vicious temperament arising in me and roaring at me.
He was gaping at me and breathing fire. He was pure evil. It scared me straight. Out of my wits.
I could see that a person, with this inside, could be capable of anything. And we all have it inside us, as far as I’m aware. We just don’t give it full expression, as the three dictators did (see fn 1.)
It arose from way deep inside me, far below our cute rejoinders and even our threats.
You remember I said that, when I went down an elevator in meditation at Xenia, of the 100 floors I went down, the level of the vasanas (or core issues) covered only five floors. They were only “skin deep,” so to speak. (2)
This little red devil is much deeper than that. Way, way below the vasanas. The vasanas are just tools in its hands.
What I saw that day results in Nazism, fascism, racism, Satanic cults, child torture (adrenochrome production), child sacrifice, and every other evil in the world.
How does it cloak itself and express itself? Well, just look at our stories. Look at the fights that go on between partners, especially of the opposite sex. Look at the wars. All of these are expressions of that little red devil. Separation and conflict are its battle cries.
I’ve never seen a more malevolent creature and I hope I never have to see another (faint hope for a lightworker). He cannot go with us.
I guess this is a time to be discussing these things because, besides the Reval looming, all of us seem to be having deep psychological or medical issues surface. If this one were to surface, unexpectedly, it’d probably shake a person up. I was going to say: To their core.
Divine Mother, I invoke the Law of As Above So Below and Elimination to remove from me the violent side of my ego, (3) with my thanks and blessings for the purpose it served, and replace it with my merkebah. Please repurpose this energy according to your wishes.
(1) For me, as an historian, it reached its highest expression in three WW2 warlords: Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Josef Stalin. Those folks were giving as complete an expression to the voice I’m pointing at as anyone ever has.
(2) “I imagined myself going down an elevator of a hundred floors. But strangely enough, as an aside, when we were perhaps a quarter of the way down, we left the realm emotionally connected to the vasanas far above us. I said to myself that vasanas are only “skin deep.” And so it seemed as we went deeper.” (“We are All of Us Innocent and Pure” in An Ascension Ethnography at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/An-Ascension-Ethnography-8.pdf, p. 523.
I didn’t say that clearly enough. When we were a quarter of the way down, I looked back up and saw the layer of the vasanas. It was like five floors out of a hundred. We left it way behind as we descended. That’s a clearer description of it.
(3) Sri Ramakrishna tells us that the ego never completely vanishes, even after Ascension, which he calls vijnana. However it does become our servant as it was originally intended, to watch out for our safety, etc.
“The ego does not vanish altogether. The man coming down from samadhi perceives that it is Brahman that has become the ego, the universe, and all living beings. This is known as vijnana [Ascension].” (Paramahansa Ramakrishna in Swami Nikhilananda, trans., The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. New York: Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center, 1978; c1942, 104.) [Hereafter GSR.]
“Why does a vijnani [ascended person] keep an attitude of love towards God? The answer is that ‘I-consciousness’ persists. It disappears in the state of samadhi, no doubt, but it comes back. In the case of ordinary people the “I” never disappears.” (Paramahansa Ramakrishna in GSR, 105.)
“I am not asking you to renounce the ‘ripe ego,’ the ego that makes a man feel he is a servant of God or His devotee. Give up the ‘unripe ego”,’the ego that creates attachment to ‘[sex] and gold.’ The ego that makes a man feel he is God’s servant, His child, is the ‘ripe ego.’ It doesn’t harm one.'”(Paramahansa Ramakrishna in GSR, 790.)