by Digger Barr
Merry Christmas Morning
We are finally back into the double digits temperatures where I am at. Not above freezing but a welcomed change in the desired direction.
My story today is about change but this time the experience was less than desirable.
Not the right topic for a Christmas morning you say.
Considering everything swirling around us I think it’s a perfect time to explore the darkness.
In the name of balance.
I am not going to go full blackout.
I am talking about balance and that is the point in between the light and the dark.
The place where the sea meets the land.
It’s not all beach and funshine. There are many miles of steep rocky crags.
This a-ha moment is coming in as hindsight. When I was immersed in the experience it didn’t feel like balance at all.
So looking back a bit to the Winter Solstice.
I was very excited about celebrating with friends at a crystal bowl concert in the Seattle area.
I drove over early intending to make the most of my stay shopping and exploring. I had set my intentions on experiencing the solstice and holiday energies to the fullest.
The morning of the first day, below freezing temperatures and snow blanketed the whole area.
The concert got put off, rescheduled for a month away. The stores I wanted to visit closed due to the weather.
The whole town was difficult to navigate because of slipping cars on steep hills. I gained a humble understanding of local challenges in real time.
Not to be deterred, I decided to take a hike to a local waterfall. Only a mile out it seemed do-able.
What I failed to realize was the rough terrain with snow and ice, the hills that of course go down and then back up again.
Combined with the very cold temperatures it took twice as long as I had anticipated and put my physical body in stress.
This triggered a past trauma that had a lot of fear attached to it. It came forward like a sneaky thief and stole my confidence.
I was shaken to the core, literally shaking at the core trying to find a way to balance myself again.
I returned to the hotel room with just enough time to get ready for dinner.
I met a friend of mine who was very gracious with my condition, fed me and sent me back to my hotel to take care of myself.
I was scheduled to leave the next day knowing that the storm had shut down the mountain pass but it should be cleared in time for my departure.
It was until it wasn’t.
Numerous accidents due to icy blowing snow shut down the interstate once again.
My trip home was blocked with no known reopen time. It was 3 days before Christmas. And another incoming storm was only hours away.
Now I tend to look at things in Red light/ Green light energy.
I was experiencing a series of Red lights and it was not going well on my psyche.
I asked my guides for help and the map showed a green path home if I detoured south, albeit making the trip twice as long.
If I moved on it, I would stay ahead of the incoming weather.
Needless to say I arrived home that evening safely and extremely grateful.
But as I mentioned my core was shaken.
My happy go lucky attitude was shot down and now back in frigid single digit temperatures, the dark triggered emotions froze my happiness.
The Solstice thief was still picking my pocket.
I have skills and experience. I have a decent toolbox. I know how to do self care.
None of it is easy.
Mental and emotional trauma is a very difficult thing to go through.
Especially during the Christmas season and the coldest darkest time of the year.
I highly recommend reaching out and seeking help if necessary. This story is not intended to provide medical advice.
I am taking good care of myself. But I have been feeling a litany of negative energies.
I was given insight to what many people are struggling with everyday.
I felt the deep sadness to the depth of despair.
And then the emotion would shift and I would feel another negative emotion.
Quite fascinating actually If I can go there.
I know love and bliss. I began the task of bringing those back into my being.
I bounced hard against the rocky crags. Each wave, a hard knock rattling my nerves.
I read about solstice energies and one meme shared that the energy may be rough and show us the dark side of things in order to present balance between light and dark.
I stared at the words on the screen.
I do not know the author but the words lept from the page at me.
Was this not the intention I set?
To experience the energies of the Solstice?
And what is being brought into balance now?
This is not balance, I ranted. This is whack!
I read another article.
This one is from Amanda Lorence of the UK.
She describes in detail about the energies incoming. Her words were not of the darkness and the down side but she spoke about how to receive the energy for better experience. She said if you find yourself resisting it will be harder. Better to allow and feel the flow.
I am not sure she was talking about the darkness I was dealing with but I recognised I was definitely in resistance.
I took a deep breath and allowed the negative energy to flow.
I felt it move and unstick its frozen grip. It moved over me as a wave washed to shore.
I had reached a beach, stepped up onto the sand and watched as the feeling ebbed away.
Another breath. This one with relief.
Wow. This is the balance point.
Another wave. I step back giving the wave room. Relief. Emotional recession.
Slowly my mind registered what was happening.
The past three days came around as a strong lesson in balance.
It was exactly what I asked for. Not what I expected. But yikes, isn’t that exactly where we are at in the energy field.
Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn, Uranus, Mars, Chiron, Kuiper Belt, Capricorn, aries aquarius, solar, galactic center.
So many hands in the pot. So many sticks in the fire.
What a swirl of change and exchange.
How can we possibly know what to expect?
I am going to offer gratitude for my experience.
It was a humbling experience.
There are so many out there struggling to find balance.
I am fortunate to have this guided lesson exploring the dark in order to find the light.
I prefer to stay on the lighter side of things and just look at the dark from a safe distance.
Apparently I do things by full immersion. I am over that.
It’s Christmas Day. I am going in for the love. Well, I wouldn’t mind full immersion with that.
I will keep my eye on that which brings about the balance and will welcome change when it is in the desired direction.
In humbled appreciation for all of you and your experiences
In love and gratitude
Cheers to a New Year