I don’t know how it is for you, but conditions such as they seem at the moment (chaotic, threatening) are forcing me every day to make and remake the choice to commit to the divine qualities.
I’m doing so-so. Maybe a bit above.
I am committed to the divine qualities. It’s not that. But the old familiar patterns, even if no longer anchored to a vasana (or core issue), prove so tempting. And I backslide. Ooooo, one more kick at the can!
The troll under the bridge can be mean. And he still flares up occasionally before skulking away. Bah humbug.
I have to hand it to him. On the one hand, he organized my defenses for many years. On the other hand, I continued to defend long past the time I needed to.
I could have been enjoying peace decades ago. Instead I played out my tortured existence long pas its usefulness My personality had been blown away long before and I never knew what was wrong. (1) Of it all, Michael told Kathleen:
“What happened in his early childhood was tragic and it was not the original plan. This one has not been on Earth all that many times and so for him to come and experience such harshness was not really the plan but what happened – you see, this is where plans adjust – and so that experience has been put to very good use.” (2)
What did I learn? Why was it necessary?
Well, for one thing, it made me aware of the underdog. Just as the domestic violence against my mother made me aware of male domination, so my own treatment had me sympathize with the downtrodden.
The owner of the Hard Rock Cafe was visiting his Indian guru after one of a number of deaths in his family. He asked his guru why it was necessary for him to go through so much suffering and the guru replied, “Isaac, to soften your heart.”
And all of this has softened my heart – toward victims, toward the oppressed, toward women and children.
Having been tenderized, I can now begin my work as a humanitarian philanthropist ready and equipped.
Everything major in our lives we agreed to before we were born. (3) So, this is the process I agreed to to equip me to do a big job handling money. I’ve been softened up. My heart is indeed open. And I’m not attached to things or experiences. Michael observed:
“We know that your desires do not tend towards the physical. And of course that is one of the reasons why you are perfect for flow through [pipeline]. You are not looking for planes and châteaux as we have talked about before.” (4)
Walking through the matter like this, with your allowance, seems to have concluded it for me. I say that because I now feel an upwelling of bliss. Immediately all my cares disappear.
I can understand why the sages of old thought of this as ambrosia and nectar of the gods.
This is a big loose end I’m tying up. I invoke the Law of Elimination and the Divine Mother to accept this misdirected energy and repurpose it.
I declare the innocence and purity of my natural Self. I declare its indestructabilty and everlastingness. I am the love of the Mother and the peace of the Father personified, as are we all. From everlasting to everlasting I am.
(1) My Dad yelled at me from inches away from my face. My personality shattered into a million pieces. It took me fifty years to put Humpty Dumpty together again.
(2) Archangel Michael to Kathleen Mary Willis through Linda Dillon, April 2, 2014.
(3) See What is a Soul Contract? at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/What-is-a-Soul-Contract.pdf
(4) Archangel Michael to Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 2, 2017.