April 27, 2021, jennifercrokaert.com
https://tinyurl.com/2d6jp54h
I don’t know if this came from Ashian, maybe I read it, or perhaps I’m just the 100th monkey, but I’d like to share this with you.
What do we say when we don’t know what to say? What do we say when a loved one is upset and there is nothing we can do to make the situation better? I think this will be a position many of us will be called into over the coming months, so it is a situation that we could prepare for, in some small way.
When you are sitting with someone whose heart is breaking, it can be so hard to know how to comfort them in a meaningful way; in those moments we are often at a loss for what to say – I know I have been. In these situations, may I suggest the following:
‘I hear every word you’re saying. I wish I could make it better for you and I can’t – but know this, I will sit here with you while you are in pain, and while you are lost. I am completely here for you, even if we have no idea what to do next.’
I have seen the impact of those words, of that commitment: his body relaxes a little from the tightness and fear. He’s no longer alone. Even if I can’t change anything, he is not lost in his fear, sadness or anger on his own.
As truths emerge, children will have their world views pulverised. And adults too. There won’t be easy answers and ‘I told you so’ will not help anyone. We will have to step up, we will be asked to practice all the compassion and empathy we have developed over the years. We will be asked witness the birth of a new world through the heart-felt agony of those who slept.
In the first instance, they will need all the care, compassion and consideration we can muster.
Sure, it will happen; we will get exhausted. Then we will learn exactly how much we can give and what we need for ourselves, in order to remain in balance. There’s no wrong or right, it’s an experience that will yield new wisdom.
This is the next chapter of what we came here for.
(c) 2021 Jennifer Crokaert www.jennifercrokaert.com
