I’m assuming that you know that, as I delve deeper and deeper into a vasana, I’m operating at successively-more-refined levels.
Going deeper and deeper reflects the impact of the clearing work itself. But it’s also due to the rising energies, the intervention of our guides, and other factors most of which are probably unknown to me.
We’re all of us going deeper and deeper, or, if you prefer, higher and higher.
The unwanted conditions and unpleasant feelings that are triggering me now are a whisper of what I faced, say, five years ago.
I’m doing finer sandpapering now than I was even a few months ago.
I’m also able to draw some of the vasanas together to form a picture – like the picture of me as arrogant and unforgiving. To a student of awareness, seeing something like this would show up like a great victory. I’m happy with the progress it represents.
Decades ago, I had no idea of the depth of vasanas – or records as we then called them, after Werner Erhard. I assumed that, once the truth was realized, the record or vasana would disappear.
That turns out not to be the case. The depth of experiencing needed to make a vasana totally disappear remains unknown to me. (Kathleen might be better able to comment.) I haven’t hit the bottom of one yet.
However the impact of most vasanas is diminishing. And I know from Xenia that vasanas are only “skin deep,” so to speak. (1)
So, yes, still sanding away the influence of my Father’s unfortunate ways of being. Have only thanks for the example my Mother set me.Using a finer grade of sandpaper now.
Nonetheless, that having been said, it doesn’t seem to be the case that a finer grade of sandpaper means impending realization. It appears to me that ANY resistance hides the Self and blocks the love in the heart from flowing.
That’s my hypothesis. That’s what I’m testing out in this laboratory that my life is.
So fine sanding is every bit as required as rough sanding.
I think that, if we show any opposition to love, it respects our freewill and travels around us. I’m speaking metaphorically and largely in ignorance. I don’t know if sacred love flows around us or our vibrations are too low to pick up its presence, like too high-pitched a sound.
We usually think of Will as being titanic in its working – a titanic struggle of wills. I don’t think that applies here.
It’s more that love respects our freewill and, if even a minute part of us holds back, love defers to our wishes. If we have any form of resistance, we seem not to experience transformative or sacred love. We remain oblivious to it.
For my money, the experience of sacred or divine love is what it’s all about. Did Archangel Michael not call love our sacred currency? If I had a choice between trillions of dollars and bounteous sacred love, which would I choose?
Sacred love. There would truly be no contest.
(1) “At Xenia Retreat Center, I dove deeply into my heart, in meditation, to find out what the origin was of the feeling of dismay I was experiencing. I thought I’d get to the original incident and experience it through to completion. Instead I went way past the level of the vasanas and kept on going.” (“The Heart is ‘the Seat of the Soul’,” December 17, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/12/17/the-heart-is-the-seat-of-the-soul/. )