It’s knight-in-shining-armor, Higher-Self behavior. La bell dame sans merci. Credit: Frank Dicksee
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I’d like to explore events that are happening on two different planes of consciousness.
They therefore are not directly comparable so I’ll do my best.
One is the exercise of the will. The other is the service (or following) of a vasana (or core issue). One is activation. The other is reactivation.
My hope is that by seeing the difference between the lower-plane behavior patterns and the higher-plane conscious state, we can get an idea of what awaits us on those higher planes.
So let me start with exercising the will.
Option 1: Exercising the Will
I recently became aware that I have a lingering thought that mastery of the will almost never occurs by itself in our modern world. I think it’s knight-in-shining-armor, Higher-Self behavior. Reserved for a future life maybe.
Meanwhile taking complete responsibility for our lives is probably simple and easy on the Fifth-Dimension. There we’re bathed in love and bliss and thoughts of harm don’t arise.
I’ll bet 5F folks consider it obvious to fully and completely take responsibility for every choice and action they take or reaction they have in their lives. But doing so seems regrettably less widely followed on this everyday dimension.
Like living in the moment or being immersed in the inner tsunami of love, taking complete responsibility for all one’s words, deeds, and thoughts is (on the rare occasion I’ve experienced it) a portal into another domain.
The practice of any of the divine qualities leads to the same higher-dimensional place. The practice of the will is just as valid a path as any other. But we seem to have given away our wills to many competing sources today – advertising, political messages, psy ops, false-flag scares, etc.
And we give it away as well to the service of our own vasanas, which is what I’d like to focus on here.
Option 2: Serving a Vasana
To illustrate, I’m going to choose a vasana which I call “Looking Blameless.” But before I look at it, let’s look at where vasanas fit into dimensionality generally.
What I’m describing is what I consider to be routine, normal behavior among us in 3D, and even 4D.
You can substitute whatever vasana you want. It’s the behavior pattern that’s significant, not the particulars.
Like all vasanas, looking blameless is born of early-childhood mistreatment.
We say “as the twig is bent, the tree inclines.” An early childhood injury sets a reaction pattern in motion that then dictates from that point onward how we react to events we fear.
“Not me, Dad. I didn’t do it.” Always ready to prove my innocence.
I see myself switching from taking total responsibility for my life to looking through the filter of wanting to look blameless in all circumstances. It doesn’t matter what filter we look through. All filters limit us.
I watch myself shaping the narrative of my daily life so as to leave me feeling – and looking – innocent. I sand this part of the piece, polish that part, until I have my story exactly where I want it.
Then I publish it far and wide as the truth. Read all about it! Steve proven blameless again. I watch myself doing this, over and over again.
I used to call the conversations I and other colleagues had in the lunchroom, “howdido conversations.” How did I do? seemed to be all we talked about, giving and receiving a pat on the back. We so needed affirmation.
Meanwhile I have this other aggressive side of myself … well, I did. The aggressive one has left the field now. Only the vasana, the knee-jerk reaction, the reactivation trigger is left – wanting to appear blameless.
Your vasana will be different. The state of mind I’m describing I think you’ll find is considered rather “normal” in our world, just not talked about.
I notice I almost never (except when I meditate) “step out of myself” and see the world from the vantage point of the present moment.
I walk around in a thought bubble forever, “refreshing screen” on a continuous basis.
I used to call this the self-serving bias. Nowadays I call it service to self. I’m exclusively in the service of my self a great part of the day.
Just feel into both circumstances of vasana- and will-directed behavior. When I do, I feel my heart grow cold looking at how much I speak from my wound and skew the present circumstances with fears from yesterday and I feel it thrill when thinking of shining-knight behavior.
That’s the vasana, the thought bubble I live in, at the expense of living in the spacious, satisfying, and blissful experience of total responsibility for my life; that is, mastery of my will.
Tomorrow I’d like to look at the costs of this way of life (OK, what sucks about it) and the way out for me.
(Concluded in Part 2, tomorrow.)
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