I’m microscopically examining myself again, once again processing this knot in consciousness that has me feel bad, a failure, a disappointment.
Probably everyone has been called a disappointment once in their life, a failure, etc., by someone important to us.
If I do the slightest thing wrong, I consider myself a failure, a disappointment. I know it comes from my Dad. My Mom was an angel.
But knowing where it comes from is not helping in this case.
Thank heavens I have three approaches to eliminating a vasana or core issue. (1)
Strategy One – what Kathleen calls “feel to heal” and what I call “being with” or experiencing the resisted emotion to completion – is not working at this moment.
I’m impatient to be finished with this feeling so I turn to Strategy Two. Strategy Two is invoking the Universal Law of Elimination. That’s worked in the past.
Strategy Three would be drawing love up from my heart, swirling it around me, and then sending it out to the world, which will transform the way I feel. And feeling good seems to be what’s ultimately important to most human beings. “I just want to feel good.” That’s the bottom line. I’m tired of feeling bad, as in this case.
So I turn to Strategy Two and invoke Sanat Kumara and the Universal Law of Elimination to eliminate from me these feelings of disappointment, hurt pride that someone else should be disappointed in me, wounded confidence, memories, reaction patterns, anything, root and branch, of this core issue. Take it back to the Great Central Sun and reuse it for some other application. Thank you, Raj.
Ok, that did handle it. I feel into my field of awareness and find no disappointment anywhere in my field. That removed it.
I notice that I hold back from resorting to Strategy Three, drawing love up from my heart. I know that it’ll work, but I want to continue my experiment with Strategies One and Two.
One because every awareness person loves to know, follow, and be in synch with who they really are. Love of this practice of self-awareness brings on a desire for ever greater awareness of the self, which finally leads to a breakthrough in understanding (as at Xenia). (2)
Apparently I’ve only rarely been to this planet, so I have a greater-than-usual interest in processing for what it teaches me about feeling and being human. Hence my love of Strategy One.
Two because masterfully using the universal laws is a rite of passage, in my eyes, an initiation of some unknown magnitude and order to some unknown place.
I know that learning the universal laws is important for me right now. I know how to process. I won’t lose those skills. But mastering the universal laws will allow me (1) to master my physical circumstances and remove them as matters of concern and (2) to master every thought and feeling, as the Arcturians requested. (3)
What the Constitution or the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is to some people the Universal Laws are to me.
Why would the Company of Heaven emphasize the topic repeatedly if they didn’t want us to learn and use them?
I plan to use Strategy Two for a while to help me get deeper into the study of the law. And eliminate my vasanas as they arise. I lay aside my (amateur) anthropologist’s endless curiosity about behavior for the moment, although I know I’ll soon be back.
Will this help me to achieve a permanent state of love and bliss? Most decidedly yes.
(1) Four strategies actually, if you add Kathleen Willis’ and Byron Katie’s “turnaround.”
(2) “Original Innocence,” Sept. 21, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/21/original-innocence-2/ and “Archangel Michael Explains What Happened at Xenia,” Sept. 22, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/archangel-michael-explains-what-happened-at-xenia/
(3) “You will be called upon to master EVERY thought and feeling.” (Arcturians in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Suzanne Lie, Nov. 8, 2013.)