The glimpse of the natural Self that I had a few days back was acting like an underground volcano.
The magma that built up in the chamber, when it finally blew, turned out to be an explosion of the kundalini, the Mother’s Shakti or Divine Energy, Bliss, the Great Comforter. (1)
I watched as a golden stream, like fast-flowing magma, ran all the way up my spine and overflowed the crown chakra.
But, like the seventh-dimensional experience of the Higher Self some years ago and a later completion of the kundalini’s circuit, it was again truncated.
Michael acknowledged to me in 2015 that the Company of Heaven were muting my experiences:
Steve: Ordinarily you would experience Brahmajnana at that point [full kundalini activation] but I felt that it had been muted, toned down.
AAM: Completely toned down. We want you very physically present.
Steve: Alright, good. That makes sense. (2)
In this instance, I only experienced what was occurring; I did not realize it. Had it been a full-blown realization, I’d call it Brahmajnana. As it was, truncated, it was just the trailer for the movie, a preview, a foretaste, which no doubt I’m expected to report on.
I felt joyful, blissful, radiant. And then, like all other experiences short of Sahaja, it subsided.
Out of it, however, I got that I am the Natural Self.
Key to this experience was that I stopped looking for the Self.
By looking for the Self, I was engaging the very one who needed to be found. I was distracting the looker and the object of the search. “Excuse me. I’m looking for Steve.” “Go away. I’m busy. I’m looking for myself.”
I stopped doing that and remained in the stillness and silence, simply observing.
And then, in a moment, in a flash of recognition, (3) I got that I was the Natural Self I was seeking. No longer distracted by looking, I was available to the truth of the matter. I am that Natural Self I’ve been seeking.
I got it from the viewpoint of the Natural Self itself, at least in terms of experience.
The overwhelming experience of the Natural Self to me was a profound peacefulness, deeper than anything I’d ever experienced before.
Whoever it was who was witnessing this – the “I” that never sleeps, the narrator of our story – (4) could waver in the face of what it was seeing. It could deny it, go to sleep on it, run away from the burden of the knowledge.
It took taking a strong stand that “I am the Natural Self” to settle the matter of ownership and ensure that there’d be no waffling or retreat.
I own the truth. Having seen it, I own it. I will not deny it.
It’s like taking the driver’s seat and delivering through adversity (our own disbelief), by the power of our own committed speaking and action.
I presume that I’ll get it now at deeper and deeper levels, eventually realizing it, probably when we all do. Brahmajnana lies ahead for all of us.
Following this writing, I went through other experiences which I’d prefer to keep to myself for now. They were outside my path and I’m not sure what to make of them. They didn’t come with a handbook.
I’m spent. Time for me to go for a walk in this new paradise I’ve landed up in.
At this moment I’m able to draw up pleasurable quantities of bliss from the heart. I’m dreamy, almost spacey. And I feel radiant.
(1) This was written before I heard Galea say:
“You have been saying: ‘Tell us more about this energy.’
“Think of Porlana C as an energy that is utilised throughout the omniverse, the universe, and certainly by all Star families who have raised [up] to an expanded sense of being. Think of it as universal life force; think of it as universal kundalini.” (“Transcript ~ Galea of Neptune Returns to Speak of Intergalactic Language & Porlana C, Jan 31, 2017,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/02/20/transcript-galea-neptune-returns-speak-intergalactic-language-porlana-c-january-31-2017/.)
Was my experience related to this Porlana C/kundalini downpour?
(2) From Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow, Sept. 30, 2015.
For one reason, these experiences are muted so as to avoid the possibility of separation between wayshowers and the lightworkers they serve. What he says here about me could be said about any angelic lightworker:
“If you came with full capacity and meaning – yes, the vision, the hearing, the knowing, the full memory, the access, all of the above – and you were to communicate to humans, to the collective, there would be a sense of separation. That is why you, as with so many, have been kept under cover.” (Archangel Michael to Steve Beckow in a personal reading through Linda Dillon, Feb. 11, 2011.)
If we were completely taken up with the quest for enlightenment, we wouldn’t be inclined to do lightwork:
“If you were completely involved in your full awakening, you in very great likelihood would not be forming a platform with me. You would be off somewhere in an ashram meditating.” (AAM, May 6, 2013.)
I can apparently visit the higher realms but not stay in them:
“Visit, don’t stay. So what you are doing, you are pulling into the 5th in what you think of as your reality the qualities of mastery without setting yourself apart from the masses.
“You are the living example and you are teaching others that they can access the mastery and still be in the Christ Consciousness, in the expanded awareness in the physical form and in the love.” (AAM, May 6, 2013.)
(3) More of the weight of an “Aha!” or peak experience than of a full-blown realization. Interestingly the earlier experience of my Oversoul or Seventh-Dimensional “Higher Self” was neither a realization nor an “Aha!” but more of a lived-through experience of that state of consciousness, without the expected bliss. Always a piece of the experience appears to have been held back.
(4) “I” am the eternal “I,” behind all other “I’s.” No matter what is witnessed, I am witnessing that.