Well, I’m going to need to apologize and say that my reportage of the conference is going to get a big, fat “F” on my report card.
I wrote a report on Day 2 of the conference (Day 3 of my stay here) but at the last moment some difficulty happened with that post and in fixing the difficulty I reposted a version of Day 1 over Day 2. And I cannot remember what I wrote about Day 2 to reconstruct the post.
My roommate reminded me that I had a photographic memory! I did when I was younger. I won’t go into that since it seems like a distant memory. But that ability faded over time and was given the coup de grace in 2011 or 2012 when Archangel Michael removed my memory altogether in order to wean me from Third Dimensionality.
It still has not returned in as full a fashion as I’d like but it has been replaced with a different faculty which I can’t easily describe. It’s a more direct accessing of my being which does not rely on memory. I imagine memory will return in full force after Ascension but for now I have to contend with not a great deal of mid-range memory. Long-range yes. Short-range, so-so. Mid-range, no.
And as for reporting on yesterday (Day Three of the Conference), well, I’m afraid this post will have to be about me more than the conference. I feel quite exposed and fragile about that but there isn’t much I can do about it, I’m afraid. Let me explain why in as short a fashion as I can.
You remember I mentioned that this was not a celebratory conference like Sedona but a growth workshop. We’ve been doing some pretty heavy-duty work in clearing, creation, regaining wholeness, etc.
It’s possible that the breathwork we did really caused some form of deep upheaval and/or release in me. It’s possible that something happened from merely being in “intimate” contact with so many people. Or of handling administrative matters connected to or arising out of the reval, gifting, etc. (Or the combination of all of it!)
Whatever it was, by 4 p.m., I had to withdraw from the conference proper and simply rest.
Earlier in the day, Christina Mahler led us through about an hour of connected breathwork, which for me was very similar to rebirthing. It also had some very superficial resemblances to bioenergetics, and may have been similar to Stanislav Grof’s holographic breathwork. It was very powerful. It left me in a deeply-meditative state.
Some of its power for me, I think, arose because I’ve done so much breathwork in my life and I think, having stopped doing it for a number of years, I’ve been integrating the understanding … hmmm, not quite what I mean to say … I think that a process of integration has been going on below consciousness of the various ways that breathwork is and has been used.
The upshot was that when we started the process I applied a kind of integrated understanding of it to the breathwork I was doing and I think that greatly accelerated and expanded the process.
It may also have been the heightened energies of the Fall Equinox. It may also have been the impact of listening to so many participants in the off-hours and it may also have been the impact of being around a large group of people with heightened energies from the Ascension process (I was referring to myself by that comment but undoubtedly the same comment applies to the other participants as well).
I have a reading with AAM On Sept. 26 and I can well imagine he’ll say that I did not protect myself in some way, was too open, and lost my energies. Who knows what occurred?
But the upshot is that I’m in a very fragile space and will have to meter out the rest of my participation. At first I thought I was tired but then saw that I was not physically tired. I was in some way drained of energy. (Now don’t get alarmed. I’m used to this from growth work. Some processes have this effect and it’s just something to be worked with.)
I hear someone saying what a long time it’s taking you to say you won’t be giving a report. Well, no, the process one goes through is worth as much as a report. Whatever a person goes through is grist for the awareness mill. This IS my report.
So this has been a very powerful workshop for me. Super powerful. And I haven’t even been able to participate in it fully. For instance, in retiring back to my room at 4, I was unable to learn the creation process. Since I’ll be able to stay an extra day I may ask Linda if she can teach it to me briefly if we have the time. Or I may learn it later.
I’ve accomplished my main purpose in being here which was to listen to participants so I could become aware of how the blog’s readers are doing, where they’re at, etc. I give myself an “A” in that subject. But the effort has taken more energy than I predicted. I haven’t accomplished the purpose of giving you a window into the conference and for that I beg your pardon.
(The sprinkler system just came on and doused me with water! I’m sitting outside my room at 5 a.m. so as not to wake my roomie and I’ve just been soaked with water in a bone-dry desert!!! How metaphorically meaningful is that! What could be next? A visit from a horse with no name?) (1)
So, to repeat, I’ve been in enough growth workshops not to be alarmed by the vague, gnawing sense of helplessness and desperation that I feel at this moment. The next moment could see a tremendous break-open or breakthrough that this is just a prelude to.
And again, if a person has not done a certain amount of growth work, that break-open or breathrough could be seen as a crisis, whereas it’s normal and a blessing. Tricky business, this.
Years ago I might have called for a doctor, so to speak, or said that I’m releasing some ancient vasana, etc., etc. But I now know it as a simple process that’s been triggered and is underway, that will resolve itself with good results and one I just have to “be with.” Uncomfortable while it’s happening but not adverse in its overall impact or results.
This workshop is totally different from the genre I’ve been used to in the growth movement. Here the Company of Heaven are often the group leaders and the processes are more mystical and spiritual at times than body-centered. But terrifically powerful.
And Linda’s mastery!!! My heavens. The body of knowledge that she’s mastered has me in awe. I wrote in Part 3 that someone had once said: What if Linda is just channelling Linda? (And her mastery extends far beyond just channeling.) Well, if Linda is channeling Linda Dillon, then I’m going to rush right out and nominate her for an Academy Award and a Nobel Peace Prize.
If I were channeling the same material as she and it was simply coming from my subconscious, I’d feel immensely proud of my accomplishment. I’d feel hugely gifted. What the Divine Mother says through Linda is not something that we lesser beings could come up with. Archangel Michael’s vast range of knowledge is not open to someone wearing this thick and heavy human body, complete with blinkers.
Keep in mind that the next body up – the astral – has the consistency of the down at the base of a feather while this human body has the consistency of a lacrosse ball or the rubber ball found inside a golf ball. The human body is practically a non-conductor compared to the astral body. So, no, Linda could not possibly channel the erudite material she does from her own mind. Unless she was Jesus Christ incarnate.
I don’t believe it for a moment. But you only fully see her mastery when you watch her day after day at a concentrated event like a conference, channeling, teaching, being with people. Her equanimity, good cheer, humor – we accept these without questioning but they are indications of her development.
I’m not a spiritual teacher nor do I have the slightest desire to be. I love writing. But Linda is undoubtedly an accomplished spiritual teacher and masterful individual. Well-served by her cousin, Patricia, too, by the way. Again unflappable with a continuous sense of humor and good cheer.
You know, I so enjoyed the conference at Poco Diablo and I’ll never forget it as long as I live for the sense of family that it created. But this conference will be a landmark for me in terms of growth. Subtle growth, not easily described. But huge preparation for what we all sense, even if we don’t know, will come next.
Rumors abound that the reval will happen before or on Monday. Last day perhaps to buy Vietnamese currency. I’d like to see a thousand lightworkers be millionaires and able to help their fellows. And then again this may turn out to be a bootless rumor.
Well that’s the longest non-report I’ve ever written. I hope I haven’t trespassed on your time. I’m gonna get out of this freezing night and try to warm up in my room before starting again. I still see as my primary purpose listening to the participants and I have one more full day to get to know those I haven’t yet met. I’m not sure how well I will do in reporting on the proceedings proper. But for me the growth and reporting on the growth is much more important than the blow-by-blow.
Footnotes
(1) America: I rode through the desert on a horse with no name.