The world becomes a gymnasium Credit: Liverpool Echo Arena
I read you some passages from the enlightenment literature which described the experience I had at Xenia. (1)
That experience is now lifting.
I’d like to explore those passages in more depth here, especially on the impermanence of spiritual experiences, what Werner Erhard once typified as “get it and lose it, get it and lose it.”
First let’s anchor the discussion by remembering what Michael said about the original experience:
“What you have done is you have journeyed to the depths of your soul, to the depths of your core. …
“And you have discovered, not lack, not criticism, not error, but beauty. Underneath the dross is the full beauty, the power, the gentleness, the sweetness of who you are. …
“What you have discovered … is the yearning [for] innocence, [for] the sweetness and, yes, the purity that the Mother has filled you with, with her tsunami [of love]. And inside the purity is clarity, is love and so you have reached a deeper level, a higher level, a broader level of understanding.
“And it is not merely an intellectual understanding. It is heart wisdom. And, in that, it allows you to proceed in a gentler way, not in a way where you feel you have your finger in the dam or you are pushing the river the other way.
“So you are in the early stages of truly, not falling in love, but truly being not only in love but Being Love.” (2)
When my 1987 vision of the total journey of an individual soul from God to God was over after 8 seconds, the bliss lasted for another three days and then all trappings of the experience disappeared. (3)
And so has every other experience I’ve had. Short of Sahaja, all experiences have a beginning and an end. And when they end, there’s nothing else we can do but let them go.
Descriptions can be found in the enlightenment literature. Here for instance is Bodhidharma describing seeing the light:
“If, while you’re walking, standing, sitting or lying in a quiet grove, you see a light, regardless of whether it’s bright or dim, don’t tell others. And don’t focus on it. It’s the light of your nature.” (4)
If I were intent on achieving full enlightenment, I would not tell others my spiritual experiences but keep them to myself. But, as an Ascension journalist and ethnographer, it’s my job to relate them.
The light I saw was not bright but luminous. But I knew it was the light of my nature regardless. Sri Ramakrishna also refers to it:
“Now and then man catches a glimpse of his real Self and becomes speechless with wonder. At such times he swims in an ocean of joy. It is like suddenly meeting a dear relative.” (5)
I swam in an ocean of innocence and purity and then in joy. Gone were notions that I was sinful and should feel guilty, ashamed, and afraid of punishment.
It was indeed like meeting a long-lost, dear relative.
The Master Hilarion refers to it:
“In the deep silence the mysterious event will occur which will prove that the way has been found.” (6)
But it won’t last. And then we must begin the climb again.
“The silence may last a thousand years. But it will end. ….
“Again and again the battle must be fought and won. It is only for an interval that Nature can be still.” (7)
Annamelei Swami makes the same point:
“Before one becomes established in the Self without any breaks, without any changes, one has to contact and enjoy the Self many times. By steady meditation and the continued practice of self-inquiry, one will finally become permanently established in the Self, without any breaks [i.e., ascended].” (8)
Permanent establishment in the Self without any breaks would be Sahaja Samadhi.
Sri Ramakrishna made the point with his story of the sage who told the woodcutter, looking for sandalwood, to go forward past the groves of trees and never stop in his search for wealth.
“Go forward. Beyond the forest of sandal-wood … are many more valuable things: silver-mines, gold-mines, diamonds, and other gems.” (9)
The woodcutter comes across sandalwood, but remembers what the sage said and so goes forward to find silver, then gold, and then diamonds, always reaching for that which lay beyond.
In the same way, we go from one spiritual experience to another – without quitting – until we finally reach the ultimate treasure from the point of view of our Ascension – a full and permanent heart opening.
***
So, nature is in motion again; I’m back in society; the feeling connection with the deeper Self has dissipated.
However, I’m not left entirely back where I started. Shankara suggests one change that occurs:
“Once we become conscious, even dimly, of the Atman, the Reality within us, the world takes on a very different aspect. It is no longer a court of justice but a kind of gymnasium.
“Good and evil, pain and pleasure, still exist, but they seem more like the ropes and vaulting-horses and parallel bars which can be used to make our bodies strong. Maya [illusion] is no longer an endlessly revolving wheel of pain and pleasure but a ladder which can be climbed to consciousness of the Reality.
“From this standpoint, fortune and misfortune are both ‘mercies’ — that is to say, opportunities. Every experience offers us the chance of making a constructive reaction to it — a reaction which helps to break some chain of our bondage to Maya and bring us that much nearer to spiritual freedom.” (10)
A second lasting effect I’ve noticed is that my breathing has become as smooth as a water slide, rather than choked or blocked or resistant like a bramble bush. I’m no longer upset with myself, disappointed, or wary. I find this very smoothness of breath to be calming and relaxing.
I’ve now been given another fleeting taste of where we’re headed. I’m no longer seeing myself in a court of justice where I’m condemned for sins and mistakes. Rather I’m in a gymnasium where I’m metaphorically leaping over vaults and practicing on the iron rings, all of which makes me spiritually stronger and more agile.
This experience now joins the 1987 vision, (11) the 2015 heart opening, (12) and the 2017 glimpse of my higher self (13) as steps up the ladder, but not the end itself.
Moreover, it did not come with a calling card, a brochure, or a handbook. As with all experiences, save when the guides whisper in our ear as Michael did about pedophilia, (14) they’re wordless.
I’m now left to interpret and apply it. And to engage again and again until the effort to fully and permanently emerge bears fruit.
Footnotes
(1) See “Original Innocence,” Sept. 20, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/21/original-innocence-2/ and “I Now Know How the Play Ends,” Sept. 21, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/i-now-know-how-the-play-ends/
(2) “Archangel Michael Explains What Happened at Xenia,” September 22, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/archangel-michael-explains-what-happened-at-xenia/.
(3) See “The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment – Ch. 13 – Epilogue,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/08/13/the-purpose-of-life-is-enlightenment-ch-13-epilogue/.
(4) Bodhidharma in Red Pine, trans., The Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma. Port Townsend, WA, Empty Bowl, 1987, 16.
(5) Paramahansa Ramakrishna in Swami Nikhilananda, trans., The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. New York: Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center, 1978; c1942, 392-3.
(6) Ascended Master, probably the Master Hilarion, channelling through Mabel Collins, channel. Light on the Path and an Essay on Karma. Wheaton, IL: Theosophical Publishing House, 1974, 17.
(7) Loc. cit.
(8) Annamalei Swami in Berthold Madhukar Thompson, The Odyssey of Enlightenment. San Rafael: Wisdom Editions, 2003, 110.
(9) Paramahansa Ramakrishna in GSR, 434.
(10) Shankara in Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher lsherwood, Shankara’s Crest-Jewel of Discrimination. Hollywood: Vedanta Press, 1975; c1947, 24.
(11) See Footnote 3.
(12) “Submerged in Love,”
(13) “First Glimpse of the Natural Self,”
At the time I was reluctant to say what I saw when I looked upon my higher Self, because I did not want to open myself or it to ridicule (one of the reasons why Bodhidharma said not to mention it to others). I’m willing to say now that what I saw was a knight in shining armor, astride a horse, with a lance in his hand.
(14) Steve: Pedophilia…. Was it you who put the idea in my head in the Safeway that I cannot write another word until I write about pedophilia?
AAM: Yes, that is correct. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Sept. 21, 2018.)