Forty days and forty nights perhaps?
I’m in the middle of a foundational insight here.
But I have to phrase it carefully because I don’t want to trigger off a thought that I’m talking about self-indulgence, selfishness, etc.
The purpose of life is to know who we are and that is a process of self-discovery. (1) On the awareness path, the only requirement we have is to remain aware of one’s self (not someone else).
So of course my focus will be on my self – minding my own business, literally, which is to discover who I really and actually am.
And, whereas what I’m about to say is important, even foundational, it exists within a context, which I’ll get to in a moment.
Finally, I’m putting it in language, which is always incomplete by its very nature.
***
As background I have to say that I existed in life as a person whose consciousness, whose very personality was shattered at age 7 and who spent the rest of the next 50 years putting Humpty together again.
Not like any of these supremely-traumatic incidents are usually acknowledged by those whose behavior caused them. The ego is about survival and acknowledging that would threaten the survival of their good self-image.
It wasn’t really a discovery. It was a commitment that arose from within me. I said to myself: It’s my life and I’m going to live it the way I want to. Again you’d have to have been there (in the shower, naturally). It was the force and the confidence with which it was said that impressed me.
Some years ago, I merged with my Higher Self. (2) This felt like my Higher Self speaking. There was a confidence that, until that moment, was foreign to me.
Now that I’ve found it, it’s as if it were activated.
***
Context: All of what I say transpires within bounds. Following a life path of moderation, which the Buddha called the Middle Way, is crucial. Neither craving nor averting, which are words meant to suggest excess, abandon, etc. Of course we can desire within moderation. (3)
By agreeing to be born where I have, I’ve agreed to live by that society’s just rules. Those are one form of limitation that I agree to allow.
Moreover, there will always be exceptions. Always, always, always.
However, I will fully myself exert in an emergency if the lives of others are endangered. Otherwise, if it’s only my life, then again the life of moderation. (4) Perhaps my exit is meant to show something.
***
By the universal Law of Free Will, I’m expected to live my life the way I wish to. And to respect the right of others to do the same.
I’ve gotten this at other levels. We are “monarchs in our own domain” was an earlier “get.” (5) Our karma is ours alone. Our soul contract is ours alone as well. (6)
And getting it, I notice, is the birth of personal responsibility. Every moment of my life, I’m doing what I choose to do.
Mind you, no one is holding a gun to my head so again this statement applies within bounds. I acknowledge that I don’t live in a war zone or impoverished country.
Every moment of every day, within limits put upon me and my situation by the society of which I’m a part, I’m living life in the way I choose. Not selfishly. Far from it: I’m freed to serve.
Happiness, anger, greed, generosity – I’m the one who is directing my production, dictating the script, choreographing the action, etc.
What a tremendously freeing insight. I wish things weren’t moving so fast so I could sink into contemplation of it and emerge a few days later. Like forty days and forty nights perhaps?
I guess the answer is: I can. Just write about it.
Footnotes
(1) See The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Purpose-of-Life-is-Enlightenment-6.pdf
When one of us realizes who we are (God), God meets God. And for that meeting was all of this created. Enlightenment is therefore the purpose of our lives.
(2) “How can I describe merging? Let me look for a metaphor that both of us can agree on. Here’s my metaphor, aimed at the experiential level. Remember that a metaphor only captures the similarities, not the differences.
“Imagine a large piece of all-white blotting paper. Pristine and pure. Suddenly wet patches begin to show on it. Gradually wetness pervades the whole of the blotting paper.
“I was that blotting paper and my Higher Self was the water. When I was soaked through and through, who was I? The “water” or the “blotting paper”? Or water-and-blotting-paper?
“All I know is that, before the merging, there had been a subject and an object, me and the man in the vision. After recognizing it as my Higher Self and merging with it, as I did with bliss and peace, there was only a subject.
“It feels as if the everyday man is the one that remains. I hear Michael saying that I need to keep my feet on the ground. And, for many reasons, I do.
“To return to the vision, when I saw my Higher Self, I was awestruck. I saw a knight in shining armor, mounted on a white horse and holding a lance.” (“‘Is This What You’re Looking for?’ – Part 1/2, August 21, 2017, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/08/21/289210/.)
(3) “This man is true to the middle way, not biased or dependent. Whether active or at rest, he is noble and dignified. Furthermore, in his study of the Way [the Tao] his actions are correct, and his words are simple yet logically complete. Whenever people have endowments like this, seldom do they fail to become vessels of enlightenment.” (“A Vessel of Enlightenment” in Thomas Cleary, Trans., Zen Lessons. The Art of Leadership. Boston: Shamballa, 1989, 3.)
(4) Don’t forget that I’ve been outside my body (and consciously inside as well) so I know I’ll never die. I’m an eternal spirit, not a rented body.
(5) See “Monarchs in Our Own Domain,” Aug. 5, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/08/05/monarchs-in-our-own-domain/
(6) See What is a Soul Contract? at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/What-is-a-Soul-Contract.pdf