Leaning Toward Peace

February 21, 2024

If a certain well-known spiritual assumption is true, many of us are packing unresolved wounds and hidden traumas into this lifetime, to be dealt with before the curtain goes down on third-dimensional Earth (or at least our experience of being in that realm). Perhaps it’s somewhat like a final exam before stepping into Ascension. 

I’m reminded of my haphazard college exam-taking techniques. I’d covertly write journal entries during class while taking minimal notes. Then I’d skim through the textbook and my notes the day before the exam, staying up all night if necessary, feeling guilty and despairing, yet determined, and fuel the process with judicious amounts of chocolate and cola.

Take the exam the next day, and pass with a higher-than-deserved grade.

*****

I feel like I might be cramming for an unprecedented, once-in-a-lifetime exam right now, and I’m feeling a similar mix of despair, guilt, and determination. 

Despair, because I have no real idea of what I’m supposed to study. Guilt, because I’m pretty sure guilt has been programmed into me by genetic tinkerers, and it’s my go-to reaction when I can’t seem to cope appropriately. 

The determination part of the mix is a bit harder to locate. But I notice it every time I say a kind word, take a slow, deep breath, reassure my inner child, or sit myself down instead of running these old bones ragged. I know I’m doing something in alignment with higher Soul purpose, perhaps letting go of half-conscious wounds or traumas via the alchemy of embodying peace in every way I can.

I wonder if I will pass this life test with a higher grade than I deserve? 

*****

Spiritual and alternative sources continue to chant, “Nothing can stop what is coming.” We’re eagerly anticipating the eradication of darkness and the triumph of Light. What is happening is predestined and nothing can derail it. Still, we’re encouraged to raise our vibrations, and therefore that of the planet as a whole. It’s hinted that this will speed up the process.

But I haven’t noticed any veiled threats that if we don’t do our part by raising our vibe, our neglect will deep-six Ascension. It would have to be a bold commentator to assert such a thing.

Naturally, my weary human self wonders: if that’s the case, why exert myself with spiritual endeavors? Why study the text or skim through my notes before taking the exam? If I’m destined to ascend, I shall. I can’t not pass the test.

I imagine that if I’m not destined to ascend, then no amount of propitiation and high-vibing will get me there.

I think that means I get to choose “my part.” The only clear thread in the elusive tapestry of my life is an all-pervading desire for peace. It’s changeless, always my first wish for self and others. It’s the foundation of any good that I can imagine. 

*****

Leaning toward peace means leaning away from the tyrant of the to-do list. That sounds like a fun assignment. What a guilty pleasure to just postpone noncritical tasks indefinitely.

I’ll give my anxious mind the task of winnowing the mental list to the absolute essentials. Providing food and keeping the kitchen habitable, as well as bill paying, stay on the list. Reorganizing the linen closet? Sorting and shredding old paperwork? They don’t make the cut. 

I’m not sure there’s a way to be ready for the life exam, whenever it comes, or if I will even know that I’m taking it until it’s over. But I’m quite certain I’ll know that I passed—however I perceive the outcome, I suspect there is no way to fail—and move forward with my sense of peace immeasurably strengthened through the process.