Reader Caitlyn Eckhardt shares her multidimensional “Sunswim” experience.
The most loving act the Universe has cocreated with me was to kill me.
“We have a surprise for you,” my guides told me as I drove home from work in January of 2021.
“Oh boy, thank you!” I thought in return, being a lover of surprises.
I noted that this must be special. My guides and I maintain a loving understanding that my best interest is not to be made aware of future events unless absolutely necessary.
Why, I wondered, was it in my best interest to be aware of this impending surprise?
Less than 12 hours later, my answer was delivered in the tone of my death.
The accident occurred during a consenting, physically intimate moment with a man I was friendly with. Being unqualified to describe it in medical terms, I will say that during the act of intimacy, the bundle of nerves in my sacral plexus was violently (accidentally) impacted by brutal force.
Upon impact, I knew immediately that I was dying. The pain was unsurvivable. I felt fire as though it were incinerating every molecule in my body, and sensed as my consciousness fled my feet, legs, pelvis, and torso to escape to my Heart Center.
There, my Mind and Heart were faced with the following choice, the clock only willing a second hand tick’s time within which to make this decision:
‘Do I accept my death?’
Now, a magnificent element impacting this event is that just a few months before my accident, during Covid shutdown, I had been journeying through Tibetan Buddhism with a past aspect of myself who was currently living life as a practicing Tibetan Buddhist.
Together, we walked through their meditative practices, specifically those meant to explore and prepare for the ‘death’ transition. This was a fun way to engage another aspect, as well as to come as close to facing my physical death as possible.
This closeness to death existed because the meditations were, at times, terrifyingly real in the way as death has been. They are meant to be.
These confrontational meditations with death through Tibetan Buddhism were, months later, essential.
As the fire consumed me, and all of my consciousness fled to my Heart but the last bits in my Mind, I knew that this was the real deal death I and my Buddhist aspect had been preparing for. This was my surprise.
However none of this did I have time to individually conceptualize in the moment. It was rather an immense feeling of knowing all of these things at once, and knowing that I had literally the blink of an eye to decide if I would resist my death in fear and fight it, or accept the truth of my death itself, and surrender.
With the last bits of Mind I could muster my will to call upon, I recalled my Tibetan death meditations like heralding and wielding one last bolt of lightning from the Sky, this single strike containing the collective might of all Buddhist wisdom I had ever consciously engaged–as this was a conscious experience.
Within this wisdom, I calculated my answer without showing my work:
I surrendered. In my Heart, I spoke thus:
“I accept my death.”
Instantly I was sucked from my body through the Heart.
Much happened on my journey that I will not relay now.
The following is what I have chosen as the core events to share, a summary of main points:
1. I saw a magnificent display of kaleidoscoping sacred geometry which was everything I could either See, Feel, or Hear. The geometry appeared to be created of light, blue being the star of the color-scape, though many were represented, and appeared to reflect an infinitely blossoming flower.
This I witnessed from the perspective of being within the center of the flower itself.
2. I sensed myself as a vibrant orb of consciousness beaming at the speed of light, Home. I shot from the Earth.
3. As I was departing our atmosphere, there were, suspended in outer space as though floating there, 3 humanoid beings to my left who were created from blue, sparkling light. I sensed them as being specifically from the dog star, Sirius . As I flew by them quicker than a wink, I realized I knew them. They were my maternal grandmother and two older sisters, all of whom, upon their deaths, took up the role of guiding me through the mystical realms of Spirit.
I had never seen them in this form before, but knew the feeling of their unique presences as they assured me by their supportive energy pulses that I would be okay. This excited me immensely as I knew if they were in on this surprise of a trip, then I was safe.
4. I relaxed.
5. I forgot myself. Almost.
6. I was a Sundrop of golden bliss. All I saw was an unending sea of golden light, comprised of a mass of moving, dancing, shifting, shaking, snaking, squirming, vibing, golden rain-shaped-drops.
I was a single drop in this sea.
I was ecstatically swimming, swimming, swimming through the Sunsea of Soul, which was Looooooove!
This was Love ecstatically experienced and shared.
I was an individual Sunsoul amongst the Infinity of all the Souls there ever were, are, and will be.
Each, we individuals, were clearly divided as forces of consolidated, euphoric joy, aware wholly and only of that Heavenly Nirvana, as each we swam with lack of confidence as there was no such need, and delighted at each and every swirling meeting with each and every soul we met.
Awareness of Time was present, but it was not important to be of it, aware.
7. And I knew in this glorious swimming, that finally, I was Home.
8. With a flash so immediate and fast as lightning, I knew I was no longer where I had just been. Where had I just been? All I can see is bright, bright golden light through my open eyes. What are eyes? I just knew everything. Now I know nothing.
I am not, from the moment the Sunswim began, thinking ‘I’, nor do I perceive why one would, yet I do ask questions and engage myself and my experience as though an I, as we understand an ‘I’ to represent a unique universal individual, as I so far find is likely for every existent being.
I am unaware of anything but the glorious Sunswim and the vibrating, oscillating golden light, and the knowing that I have left the Sunswim and am somewhere…. and something…. else.
9. Reality Creates itself from Gold.
The golden light is effused from zillions (meaning exact measurement unknown) of oscillating, golden-lighted particles. From these golden spheres, Reality erupts.
*My perception of Time during this episode of experience, I treat as intenseley variable, and therefore uniquely relative to the experience itself, as is its telling.
10. Like bubbles pricked one then next, to the sequential rhythm of dominoes falling, I Watched as each gold-lit-sphere POPPED! and revealed my Home–the living room of my one-bedroom apartment emerged from the mayhem of confusion I felt as, during the popping process, I was baffled shocked as to what was happening, where I was, what anything was, what were the names for all of these things?– wood floor, television, coffee table, apartment, my apartment, oh yes! I remembered in a flush of hot, grateful humanity– I am Caitlyn!!– and as excitement at my breathing electric human air again mounted, and the realization that I had just returned from what presented as sure Death merged into awareness, a Voice, collective and infinitely bound, spoke like the crystallized Alpha-Omega, just one truth:
“REALITY IS A COCREATION.”
Okay. Now, what?