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/ Home / News / Personal Growth / Cycle of Conflict / Leaving the Cycle of Conflict
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Leaving the Cycle of Conflict

September 3, 2023 by Steve Beckow

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There isn’t much we can do, individually, about the conflict building outside of us.

But we know there’s more at play than meets any ground-level eye (ours included).

And we know that it’s guided by universal laws. One of them is the Law of Balance, also called As Within so Without, As Above so Below.

Conflict without.  In Earth’s history, it’s been cyclical. It surely must mirror the conflict within contemporary leaders.

As I watch the conflict arise within me, I see – and remember – how often in my life I’ve been embroiled in cyclical conflict. Heavens, my first fourteen years were nothing but one long cycle of conflict, veering into a cycle of abuse at times.

I have within me the cycle of conflict. I’ve long wanted to address the subject and with the mayhem outside of us at  present, this may be the ideal time.

In the next few articles, I’d like to look at a cycle of conflict that I think a lot of us may recognize.

***

The rising love energies are said to be bringing conflict to the surface wherever it exists.  None of it can come with us when we ascend.

All of it must rise to the surface, be experienced, learned from, and released. Or, if we attach ourselves to it and hold onto it, we may have to wait for the next bus.

My family followed a cycle of conflict, erupting into catastrophic abuse on three occasions.

I inherited a two-handed script that incorporated both their lines and moods.

I’m now seeing that many people in relationship follow the same cycle; hence my desire to have a look at it as a subject.

***

Again, I’m talking about ongoing domestic conflict that never reaches the level of violence, but does reach the level of hostile and continual bickering that never gets resolved.

The first thing that needs to happen to get beyond it if we’re in it is, in my opinion, to become aware of it.  The graphic, below, is a description of how the cycle of conflict works and how my family operated.

Cycle+of+Conflict

 

Here’s what occurs. There’s an argument, a blow-up, an explosion. Then there’s a time of separation, a cooling-off period.

Finally someone breaks the ice. Then there’s a reconciliation, a brief period of getting along, broken by some disagreements that were never resolved.

Let’s pause here for a moment. Those disagreements, if they’re discussed at all, are discussed in good/bad, right/wrong terms, without either side taking personal responsibility. A lot of name calling, raised voices. People refuse to talk – or listen.

If we stay with good/bad, right/wrong, then the withholds – the things we’re not sharing which generate resentment in us – mount. When they become too many to manage and any little spark is applied, we explode.

Then we separate and remain in our corners until someone breaks the ice. And away we go, all over again, less hopeful, less optimistic and … nothing has changed….

Thereafter, we make several unproductive choices. I’d like to go over them, and possible ways out, in the next few articles.

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Cycle of Conflict, Sharing, Sharing/Communication, Transparency

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