In the growth movement, we’d call what I’m about to do next a “share.”

More specifically, in an encounter group, we’d call it “calling myself on my own number.” Doing it saves everyone a lot of time and suffering.

The alternative is to deny, justify, and excuse how we’re being rather than just fess up.

This is my share then. My ethnographic account of a way of being:

I keep noticeing something about myself in what Werner Erhard would call the “background of obviousness.”

I keep noticeing a lack of depth in what I feel and can reach. And this is especially true socially (well, I’m a hermit! Duhhhh.).

If the Tin Man lacked a heart and the Cowardly Lion lacked courage, I lack depth. I hasten to add: Right now.

I skate over a large territory but know little in depth.

We’ve heard our sources say that life the way it used to be will prove uninteresting to us. Make this a case in point: I’m no longer satisfied with a lack of depth in my life.

And, learning what I’ve learned so far, I’m not going to blame it on anyone but myself. And I won’t even blame it on me.

Right now I’m like a skein of wool. Unwind it carelessly and it’ll become an irretrievable mess.

***

I’m getting to the gold by digging archaeologically. I want to learn from what’s unearthed in each new layer of superficiality that I observe.

Archangel Michael has invited us all to recover our angelic capabilities. (1) Memory would be welcome enough. But if I were to go to next on my list, it’d be depth.

I could unleash a flood of shares, all designed to go deeper into the truth of what’s so right now. And right now. And right now.

That’d be good.

But I’m not as interested in that kind of pointed, specific, forceful breakthrough right now.

The breakthrough I want is as if the entire floor of my experience just gently dropped a foot in depth. A spiritual “foot” but one that’s consistent with my soul contract as a lightworker.

I don’t want to float away and remove myself from the picture, but a five-mile smile right about now would be entirely acceptable. And the way I have it figured out, that comes with more depth.

***

All of this will change – all of it will be swept away – by what some have called the Sign, the Tsunami of Love, the Ring of Fire. It’s the equivalent for the world of a fourth-chakra enlightenment event for the individual.

It will, I know, open the floodgates of love and all my search will be – for a time – pre-empted. (2) OK, washed away.

Then there’ll be much triaging to be done among people who don’t know what’s happening.

But the experience brought on by the Ring of Fire will gradually fade – only Ascension is permanent. (3)

The longing for liberation (4) manifests in me as a desire to want to know the path to Ascension now.  My longing is for the depths – or heights, if you prefer.

I just noticed: There are some aspects of myself that do go deep. My curiosity is deep. I can burrow deeply into myself.

By this process of self-enquiry through writing, I’ve reached a still mind again. This is a neutral space. I think of it as a launch pad.

I feel no love here and I don’t really want to call it up from my heart just yet. I’d rather inspect this still space, archaeologically.

I said I didn’t want to experience love on my inbreath. I got my wish. But something must come up from the opened heart on the inbreath, right?  So I got bliss instead.

I find I’m in charge of this inner realm – I really am monarch in my own domain. (4)

At this moment, I feel like a conductor. I can almost see myself in the black suit, with the baton in hand. I’m saying “a little less bliss, please, but otherwise continue. I want to inspect this layer called ‘a still mind.'”

Stillness comes accompanied by a lowering of stress, a forgetting of issues, and a feeling of general well-being and safety.

Is a silent mind a launch pad – or a portal?

Suddenly a breakthrough.

I just saw what prevents depth. I felt myself place an obstacle in my path.

(Concluded in Part 2, below.)

Footnotes

(1)  AAM: The awareness, when you choose to acknowledge it, and the, shall we call it, the angelic abilities, are present in the human race, in the individual human form at this time.  (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Sept. 16, 2020.)

AAM: Every single being upon this planet at this time has brought the fullness, the totality of their soul’s design to the planet. They did not leave anything behind.

So you are well-equipped to take these steps of action, each of you in your own way and it is not an either/or. It is a mosaic and every piece counts. (“Archangel Michael: The Purpose of the Reval – Part 2/5,” Oct. 23, 2016, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2016/10/23/archangel-michael-purpose-reval-future-part-25/.)

(2) Federation of Light: At the moment the ‘wave’ presents itself … absolute Bliss shall be felt. Again, we say … different levels of it … depending on each one’s present state of Being. …

This applies also, to the length of time that the very HIGH VIBRATION shall remain within. …
 [It is not permanent.]

Depending on the capabilities of the individual soul, that enables one to remain within a certain state, for a certain length of time. It shall affect souls differently. …

This Energy shall be almost tangible. Far greater, would we say, than the turmoil within self, one is experiencing in these present days. We are not saying ‘far greater turmoil’! No! No! We are saying that the Energies shall be greater by far, and yet, turmoil will have left and comfort shall be discovered within the self. As it flows in, many souls will feel the newness and allow themselves to become themselves. (“The Federation of Light via Blossom Goodchild, April 20, 2018,” April 21, 2018. )

(3) That makes sense, right? The Third/Fourth Dimension are marked by rapid disintegration – rust, weather, decomposition, etc. The Fifth Dimension does not have these conditions. I’m not sure if things last forever; I’m inclined to think they don’t. But they certainly last longer than things do here.

Meanwhile our residency on the Fifth, as opposed to the Third, has become “permanent” via Ascension, Sahaja Samadhi, Nirvana, Buddhahood, moksha, a full and permanent heart opening.

(4) See “Ch. 7. The Longing for Liberation” in The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Purpose-of-Life-is-Enlightenment.pdf

The longing for liberation is a sub-tidal thirst that only the One can satisfy, implanted in us by It, that draws us home to It.

[The] longing for liberation is the will to be free from the fetters forged by ignorance — beginning with the ego-sense and so on, down to the physical body itself — through the realization of one’s true nature. (Shankara in Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher lsherwood, trans., Shankara’s Crest-Jewel of Discrimination. Hollywood: Vedanta Press, 1975; c1947, 36.)

All things long for [God]. The intelligent and rational long for it by way of the stirrings of being alive and in whatever fashion befits their condition. (Pseudo-Dionysius in Cohn Luibheid, trans., Pseudo-Dionysus, His Complete Works. New York and Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1989, 54.)

(4)  See “Monarchs in Our Own Domain,” Aug. 5, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/08/05/monarchs-in-our-own-domain/ and “Sovereignty,” September 23, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/23/sovereignty/