We talk about “sovereign,” “independent,” and “free.” Or “standing in our own power” and similar phrases.
Well, I’m now in the space they point to and, being in that space and looking at it, hmmmm… I don’t know how to describe it.
Very reflective. Calm and stable. Not moved by very much now whereas before I did pay attention to a lot; especially, to what people might think of me.
I’ve been totally reviewing my life and looking at the way I live it. And one thing that stands out for me is that I’ve designed much of my life to win the approval and acceptability of others. We all have something similar to this going on, I think.
In fact, I designed much of my life in reaction to other people.
We all get conditioned as a result of growing up. Parents and teachers want us to see things their way and if we don’t we get a clip across the back of the head. Isn’t that how life works?
We’re conditioned. Our lives are largely formed in response to what we think others want. Yes, we’re pleasure-seeking machines and we have strategies to get what we want.
I just became aware ten minutes ago that I could do whatever I wanted to do, in the course of a day. I didn’t need to keep a certain schedule or meet with certain people. If I wanted solitude, I could create it. My life was mine to create with, when it isn’t in service to the boss, as many of yours are.
It’s like waking up. Oh my Gawd, everything I do is designed to please somebody or myself. I’d say 60% of the former and 40% of the latter.
But I don’t have to be doing that. I have more of a sense of myself now and in the space this creates I realize I don’t have to live life from a conditioned standpoint. Let the conditioning say what it wants; I will decide after reflection. I really am monarch in my own domain.
Thinking from this larger perspective, I’m beginning to see a lot of things.
I can create my life exactly the way I want to.
Later
I’m now coming to understand sovereignty as a context for the first time in my life.
It includes full decision-making power over ourselves. That’s all we can be sovereign over, although many dictators and cabals have tried to extend their sovereignty over … in some cases, everyone.
I’m seeing how conditioned I am. Just one conditioned response followed by another, followed by another, in an orchestrated fashion, which we can call an “act,” a “performance.”
I’m going by a script. How to wake up?
Without the experience at Xenia, I wouldn’t be awake. I’d be carrying on in my automatic way, totally oblivious to the fact that I am.
Our deeper selves are there, underneath the rubble that sits on top of our … sovereignty, of our conscious knowing and acting from sovereignty. But with the rubble on top of us, our vision is restricted; our space is denser. We can’t see a lot of things.
Once liberated from that through knowledge of the deeper levels of ourselves and the expansion that comes with it, we can easily see that we’re absolutely responsible for ourselves and have absolute decision-making power over ourselves. We’re fully-empowered … no, divinely-mandated … kings and queens in the matter of ourselves.
We’re monarchs in our own domain. That domain includes all of our bodies and our energetic field/field of awareness.
We just don’t know we are. But not knowing doesn’t change the situation. We always were, always are, and always will be sovereign.