Wow, just in posting an article on vaccine deaths, I had a strong vasana (core issue) go off.
Just like that. No input from anyone else.
That’s surprising. It suggests to me that the vibrations are getting more refined.
Tsunami of Love, Porlana C, the Lions Gate – whatever the energy hitting us at the moment, I notice that it’s getting much easier to see and process a vasana.
There seems to be less holding, less muscular tension in the body and I definitely have more vasanas arising. (1)
The more we see how vasanas work, the better we’ll be able to process our own and help others (who are open to it). So let me process mine here.
After reading the article, I was having a fantasy that we were in a long line of people waiting for med beds. Long line. Snaked around the corner. And an old lady came up beside me in the line and wanted me to let her in.
I said I was happy to let the lovely lady in and stepped out of the line giving her my place.
NOT ME! Awooga! Awooga! Dive! Dive! The vasana screamed!
No way, José! I have a serious aversion to letting people in line, a serious addiction to being first (and maybe letting someone in from there), etc. This is just not me, as much as my self-serving ego would like it to be so.
So I began to process it.
Where did this originate? I asked myself.
Up comes the answer.
As the runt of the litter, I had to fight for anything handed out to people generally. I had to push hard. And I’m still doing it at age you-know-what.
I also hear my Dad, the merchant mariner, saying: You have to fight for what you want. Don’t turn your back on anyone. Keep your guard up.
This is a very strong vasana. And the way I know I’m accurate in tracing it back to youngest-child behavior is? By now you should know. (2) The truth will set you free, right? And I feel release. This puzzle piece fits in the puzzle hole and the proof is the release.
I use that release to guide me as to whether I’m on the right track or not. Warmer, warmer, keep going! Colder, colder, go another route.
I also feel impelled to say more. That’s another indication that I’ve hit on the truth. If it were a lie or fabrication, I’d have difficulty talking about it, because I’d be making it up, checking to see whether it fits with the rest of my fabricated story, etc. I’d want to be finished with the subject as soon as possible.
But, in that it’s the truth , I don’t need to make anything up. I don’t want to finish with the subject.
I feel freer than I did before. I just want to tell everyone about it.
Just like the people in my volunteer counselling sessions years ago who, when they hit upon the truth, just wanted to get up, go home, and tell their families what they’ve found. (3)
Here’s one last dot to connect. I resolved this sudden explosion (vasana) by seeing where it originated: In youngest-child behavior.
I did it by listening to myself. I did it by being a Second Self to myself. I served as my own therapist. This is the first time I’ve been consciously aware of doing that. Until now I never thought I could do it, but I actually did.
Goodbye. Thank you very much. And away they’d go.
Again I take all of this as a sign of progress in our unfoldment in the face of the rising energies. (4)
(1) I now remember that I had two very deep vasanas go off this past weekend: One in which I needed to relive my Mother’s decline and death and a second in which i had to relive my Dad shouting at me from inches from my face. Deep vasanas are definitely coming up, in me at least, to be seen and let go of.
(2) If not, see “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process,” December 29, 2018, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/12/29/how-to-handle-unwanted-feelings-the-upset-clearing-process-2/.
(3) On this, see The Value of Listening at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/The-Value-of-Listening-3.pdf and A Manual for Listeners at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/A-Manual-for-Listeners-R3.pdf
(4) In this particular instance, I moved from an almost sluggish unwillingness to serve as my own therapist to a sense that I needed to do this. This sense of need called forth my willing Second Self.
There are some advantages to being dissociated for fifty years. One can recognize one’s separate and purely-constructed selves and voices.