I just “got” (realized, intuited, flashed on) the fact that all the most important issues in my life are resolved through correcting something in my own thoughts or thought process.
So it’s not that other people cause 80% of my problems. It’s not that I’m a victim. The problem lies in my own thinking.
This is interesting because most of us usually use the self-serving bias in our assessments of fault and blame. Our successes are due to our own efforts but our failures are traceable to the efforts of other people.
I was just doing this with Len this morning. Puffing up my chest and narrating my victories.
We maximize our victories and minimize our defeats. We excuse, justify, and deny our failings, but resent, condemn, and point out the failings of others. And then we wonder why we don’t experience real, true love.
A second thing I noticed was that the problem lay in some thought or thought process not lining up with the universal laws or violating the divine states.
If one violates the dictates of love, love disappears instantly, without a word of goodbye. And of course the universal laws are they that see that we receive again what we’ve put out. Whatever we dished out will come again in turn.
This is a question of intellectual vs experiential vs realized knowledge.
I’ve known all this intellectually for decades and had experiential knowledge that validated it as well. But never had I realized it.
As intellectual knowledge, it had no juice. It would not have motivated me to act. Experiential knowledge had juice but no certainty. I went on “gut feelings” and intuition. Realized knowledge had both juice and certainty, all packaged with whatever divine state we were currently interested in (love, peace, joy).
So it’s not “I think; therefore I am,” but more “as I think, I am.”
This is an about face for me. Facing one direction I blame others for my misfortunes. Facing in this other direction, I’m not even looking at others’ input. I’m only concerned with my own.
This all came about because I was grumbling to myself about a personal situation, when I suddenly remembered Kathleen saying: “The Mother forgives everything.”
OK, OK, why don’t I give what she says a go? So I forgave everyone and everything, not just superficially but as deeply as I could go.
And that removed all reason to grumble. I was left with just myself. It was spooky.
I was feeling residually irritated and I saw that that too was something I was doing to myself.
Now that I’d forgiven everyone and everything, there was no one left to feel irritated about. And no one to shift the blame onto.
I saw that I’m responsible for the very thoughts and feelings that I’m busy projecting and blaming on other people.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is I can change my thoughts and patterns. It takes commitment. The change has to come from a very deep level. I’ve discussed it before as a change of vote. (1) Usually from yes to no.
If an avalanche were coming down on me right now, I’d reconcile my issues very fast. It can be done. It’s a standard scene in movies. In every emergency situation, we drop our issues fast.
It seems as if my newfound sense of responsibility depends on me continuing to forgive everyone and everything. The minute I stop and begin blaming and shaming again, as Michael might say, I recreate the whole of the Third Dimension!
(1) See “A Radical Change of Vote,” December 23, 2019, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/12/23/a-radical-change-of-vote/
“Changed My Mind,” September 6, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/09/06/changed-my-mind/
“How Do I Change Myself?” August 5, 2020, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2020/08/05/312381/