I want something new to write about. I’m tired of writing about the same problems and worries. It’s only entertaining for so long and then my mind gets bored and wants something new.
This is the same as saying I want a new life, since that’s what I write about.
I have the strangest sensation of running as fast as I can, but something is suspending me just above the ground and I can’t get any purchase with my feet.
Oddly enough, it’s not a totally unpleasant sensation. It feels more like the Universe is saying, You won’t go anywhere until it’s ready. You may as well enjoy where you are.
Perhaps that could be the new thing in my life. To enjoy where I am.
At this point, I’m stumped. How do I just enjoy where I am?
It’s not that everything is doom and gloom, I do enjoy things. I find prosaic activities, interactions with friends and family, and just being all satisfying and fulfilling on different levels.
The restlessness sets in when I imagine how much better it could be, should be—according to my perception. The Universe, I’m sure, is fine exactly as it is. It’s not trying to get anywhere.
So maybe the question expands. How do I enjoy where I am and stop trying to get somewhere else, somewhere I think will be better?
I was mesmerized by a video about the med beds from a couple weeks back. A Secret Space Program participant shared what she knew about the technology as well as the administrative details around the rollout. I was particularly intrigued by the criteria she described that would determine the first people who get to receive med bed healing.
She spoke with authority but not arrogance, and described a timeframe in the fairly near future when we might expect to see these miraculous machines in our largest cities around the world.
Toward the end of this video during which she discussed the future, she nonetheless encouraged us to be in the present, because all there is, is now, and now, and now. She suggested we refrain from waiting for anything outside ourselves to change things.
So that’s a bit disappointing. There’s a corner of me that would like to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing but wait for Disclosure to burst forth, and then be one of the first invitees to participate in healing via med bed. What could be a bigger change than that?
I imagine there are many people who would be delighted at the prospect of being an early invitee.
It’s been observed that one can be present in the Now while letting the mind wander through the past, paging through memories. The same thing is true about casting our imaginations into the future.
Being still present while roving mentally into past or future seems to involve avoiding getting stuck in negative emotional states during the time-wandering. We can check in periodically to take our emotional temperature: Are we pointlessly regretful about the past? Needlessly fearful about the future?
I’m taking the position that it’s fine for me to look forward to those med beds being set up soon in the largest city near me, Los Angeles. I’m going to imagine with delight and joy that I am chosen for healing early on.
And as for mulling over the past, isn’t that where our shadows are? Don’t they inhabit the crevices of memory, whether we examine them or not?
If I’m to enjoy where I am, a good starting place is to employ the element of deliberation. Not accidentally slip into fear-filled future imaginings or regretful reminiscing. Instead, I can compassionately recall the past and project into a hope-filled, joyous future from a consciously present space.
Whether I label my reminiscing as maudlin and pointless or usefully dwelling in the Now while processing past issues is my choice. Ditto with future imaginings. There’s so much to fear…and so much to hope. I’ll do my best to lean toward hope, and dance only lightly with any chimaeras of fear that wander into awareness.
But just one waltz, thank you. After that, my dance card is booked solid with purposeful, joyful, abundant, and delightful activities that include a large component of Just Sitting Around, Being.