As a result of the vision I had in 1987 (1), it’s an article of faith with me that from the moment we emerge from the One as a point of Light until the moment we merge in It again, we are in school.
We’re in school to learn our true identity, which we forgot in the process of individuation.
That vision showed me that the reason God created life forms – the purpose of life – is for them to remember and realize themselves. In a moment of their enlightenment, God meets God. For that meeting was all of this made.
From every encounter, from every experience, we learn something about ourselves, about our false and true identities.
I look upon my life as a constant learning experience, a workshop in which I run experiments and learn from the outcomes.
On the awareness path, I’ve been trained to notice the small moments and recognize them for what they are – hints as to the truth of the situation.
This evening, as I watched the sun set, I was mulling over an unrelated subject and I detected a quality about the way I was being at that moment.
When I focused my awareness on it, I recognized it as the same part of me that isn’t very friendly, doesn’t smile a lot, avoids contact. And then I realized: This is my ego. This is what we’re pointing at when we use the word.
Once before I’d experienced my ego. My wife, looking upon the expression on my face at that moment, was horrified. I was horrified by what I saw. Let’s just say that it was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.
This time it wasn’t like that. I simply was able to match a word (“ego”) to what I was feeling that was having me be so decidedly unfriendly. When I tried the word on, it fit with the experience and my own knowledge. I own that I saw my ego.
It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s another to experience it. And it’s something else again to realize it. I both experienced and realized my ego in that moment.
Now I know who the unfriendly part of me is. I don’t plan to do anything about it. Just allow awareness to do its work. I’ve identified the side of me that causes mischief and disarray.
If I let it, awareness will dissolve the ego’s unfriendliness.
(1) See “The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment – Ch. 13 – Epilogue,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/08/13/the-purpose-of-life-is-enlightenment-ch-13-epilogue/
From The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment, at https://gaog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Purpose-of-Life-is-Enlightenment.pdf