Credit: www.soyouhaveagirlfriend.com
We’re creating a new culture of communication, whether we’re completely aware of it or not.
As the energies rise, we leave behind such things as chit chat and begin to hunger for communication that gets much more deeply and directly to the heart of the matter.
As a follower of the path of awareness, I’m watching myself communicate and I see I use two types of communication.
The first I’d call “bonding” communication; the second, “action” communication.
I have to say before setting out that what I earlier called “committed speaking” can be used in either of these two forms of communication. I can make a declaration, make a promise, or take a stand as an act of bonding or as one of action.
Think of bonding communication and action communication as two rooms we’re building in the house called “Communication.” Committed speaking is a tool – a hammer or a saw – that we use in building those rooms.
Communication for Bonding
Predominantly bonding communication has me ensure safety and reveal myself (authenticity, transparency, visibility). Bonding communication can itself be divided down into at least two types of messages: “sharing” and “committed speaking.”
“Sharing” usually involves my sharing my noticeings of myself (around my thoughts, feelings, and behavior) or giving feedback to another of my noticeings about them (subject to correction of my interpretations, of course). Sharing may also mean sharing my love, compassion, or attention.
Werner Erhard used to say: When all is said and done, all that’s left to say is “I love you.” Maybe we could start with “I love you” as the quintessential share.
However, the insipid “I love you./I love you too” exchange that we so often had in Third-Dimensional society, for me, doesn’t qualify as what I mean when I say “I love you.”
Many instances of “I love you./I love you too” are contrived. They seem to serve as an Early Warning System for one mate to check the other out, particularly to check out their vocal tone. Lukewarm? Enthusiastic? Resentful?
When I say “I love you,” I feel the love, palpably, arising from my heart and flowing out towards the other person. I consider that “the new normal,” something we’ll all feel not so long from now.
If I don’t feel the love, I don’t say “I love you.” I might thank someone for sharing that they love me, but I don’t shoot back, “I love you too.”
Other examples of shares are: “I notice that I still feel nervous around you because of….” “I see myself get excited as the hour approaches when I can speak with you.” “I feel afraid of you now.” These statements tell the other person where we’re at and, most importantly, how we feel.
Letting the other person know how we feel is perhaps the most important thing we can communicate. (1) Other people make the decision to do what it is we’re asking, I believe, based on what they know of how we feel.
“I’m not very upset. Just a little.” “I’m infuriated.” “I feel dismayed.” This is the information people need to know, if we want them to do something for us.
“I will never harm you” is an example of committed speaking in the service of bonding. It’s a promise of safety. “I am the stand that your life work out.” “I am here to see that you have what you need in life.” “I want for you what you want for you.” “I respect your free will.” “I will listen to you.” These are also examples of committed speaking designed to promote bonding.
Of course if any of these statements is made without a deep connection to it, if it’s simply mouthed, it has no power and no value. I’m presupposing that a person of integrity makes these statements and that that person is good for their word.
Communication for Action
Action communication promotes committed action. “My purpose in this life is to build a world that works.” “I am the stand that gender persecution end on this planet by Jan. 1, 2018.” “I am committed to seeing that this country have a free and universal medical care system by June 1, 2017.” “I will work for universally-free education.” “I call for an end to hostilities throughout the world by July 1, 2016.” These are examples of communication designed to promote action.
When someone speaks from a place of commitment, in my experience, it organizes the space. It’s as if all the world was simply waiting for someone to speak from a committed place. Take promises, declarations, stands, and assertions and infuse them with love and compassion and you have the yin and the yang of life, androgeny, the marriage of the divine female and the divine male, action (Shakti, Mother) while not leaving the balance point, the stillness (Shiva, Father).
How many people have I talked to who’ve said they can no longer stand the chit-chat? They’re ready to scream.
Communication that promotes bonding and committed action is the answer.
And we lightworkers are the ones to create a new culture of communication. Clear, committed, and self-revealing.
Footnotes
(1) “I feel that…” and “I feel like…” are not feelings. They’re thoughts. They don’t carry the same weight as a description of how we feel.