“I love you.” “I love you too.”
Without wishing to offend anyone, might I discuss one of our relationship rituals and what bearing it may have on reality?
I wouldn’t be discussing it in that way if I didn’t wish the ritual would pass from the scene.
I wish I had the talents of anthropologist Horace Miner and could discuss our rituals the way he discussed “body ritual among the Nacirema,” many years ago (Nacirema = Americans). (1)
We live in a restricted third-dimensional fields of awareness and experience, without telepathy or aura-reading for instance. We tend to fashion our ways of being with others as if, if we engage in pretense, we won’t be caught.
We pretend. We bluff. We distract. Just think I Love Lucy. Lucy’s hook was that she’d tell a little white lie which grew and grew and grew, until she had to address it and come clean. It was essentially Pinocchio with real people.
Our insincerity can be heard in our vocal tone and sometimes inferred from our looks and gestures. I’m not sure why so few of us seem to be convincing when selling a lie to others. So few people are “good at lying.”
But even when practicing deception in relationship, we often agree with each other not to expose the other’s insincerity. I’ll hide your shzt if you hide mine is how we often seem to handle things. Is it apathy or lethargy?
We commonly deny allegations of insincerity made against us. We defend or excuse ourselves. We may bluff our way through to avoid being seen. We may deflect or divert attention to others to take the heat off us (“Well, Bill does that. You don’t get mad at hiiiiiiiimmmm“). Seldom do we see the advantages of authenticity and transparency.
A good example of the strategizing we do is in the exchange: “I love you.” “I love you too.” This is the ritual I want to look at here.
Seldom, I believe, is the “I love you too” said out of experiencing the rise of real love, I maintain. By real love, I mean transformative love, what the ascended masters call “universal” or “unconditional” love.
Transformative love arises from the heart and flows out without preference or discrimination; hence, it’s said to be universal and unconditional.
I prefer to call it transformative love, because, while ordinary love yields to feelings like anger and jealousy, transformative love is so space-commanding that it doesn’t allow those feelings, which I experience on the periphery of my awareness, in to the center. It transforms our ordinary experience into extraordinary.
Before I had a heart opening in March 2015, I experienced perhaps seconds, perhaps minutes of transformative love a year. Now, with the increase in gamma rays, as we’ve come to know the Ascension energies, I feel it many days for sometimes hours on end. In the future, we’ll all feel it all the time. Ascension will bring it.
But back to our relationship ritual. I talked earlier about the “I love you too” but the original “I love you” also often serves a function. “I love you” often serves as the DEW line (distant early warning system). If our partner doesn’t answer back “I love you too” – in the correct tone and pitch, in effect, give us the password – our antennas go up and we begin asking what’s wrong.
If they answer back hesitantly or without enthusiasm, we start the wheels of inquiry going faster. I’ve watched this in so many relationships, I suspect social conditioning, but don’t know the mechanism. Television?
Our partners in response groom their energy and make sure to respond with as much enthusiasm as they can muster but the contrivance is heard, even if our partners may choose to ignore it for the moment.
Rather than being unconditional, our expression of what we think is love is very conditional. It’s in fact no more than a sweep of the radar screen. We want to pick up a blip. There’s nothing unconditional about it. It’s a weapon in what becomes, to all intents and purposes, a relationship battleground.
Love cannot surface or survive in such an environment.
Just in the writing of this so far, I’ve just popped through to transformative love. It soothes me. It nourishes me.
I send it out to the world and hopefully it nourishes others. It relieves me of all want, all need, all insecurity, all need for strategizing. It makes the DEW line obsolete, mothballed. I don’t even need a partner in this space. The operative word is need.
This love doesn’t seek a response such as “I love you too.” I’d frankly more appreciate a response like ‘Thank you for sharing that, dear.”
“I love you too” is just one of our strategizing responses in relationship ritual designed to keep us safe and keep intact anything we identify as vital to our own continued wellbeing. In this case, we see our relationship as vital. Our insincere and manipulative response is designed to keep our relationship intact.
Soon, being in relationship won’t be vital to the survival needs of anyone such as nursing mothers, child-rearing parents, seniors, etc. The new economy will level the playing field and see to the needs of everyone and relationships will become a matter of choice and desire.
And our capabilities will have evolved so that pretense will no longer be possible.
Until that time, however, the temptation will be great to placate and ensnare, pretend and promote.
I’d like to look in the next post at what I conceive to be the value of transparency and authenticity. (2)
Footnotes
(1) Horace Miner, “Body Ritual among the Nacirema,” at https://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/Body.html.
(2) “The Value of Transparency and Authenticity” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/?p=272684.