Dad
Archangel Gabrielle said in a message Sept. 21:
“I remind you this day, [that you are clearing] your key motivator, your core issues, as you let the residue of the old Third go… Why do you do this? …
“You are undergoing this magnificent transformation, demanding and commanding the truth of your path, of who you are because you are tired of suffering and you are tired of seeing the suffering of humanity. You’re tired, you are sick and tired, child, of the illusion.
“The tsunami has awakened you like never before. … You have cleansed and cleansed. You have dove deep. You have ridden the waves. So what is the problem? Dear hearts, there is no problem. It is just that the housekeeping for yourself and for humanity goes very deep.
“This cleansing is complete.” (1)
Perhaps I can illustrate the depth of this cleansing from my own personal experience. In a reading I had with him on Aug. 22, Archangel Michael used words similar to what Archangel Gabrielle just said. He pointed out that I was doing “some very deep housecleaning.” It came up here:
S: You heard me during this past week, moaning and groaning?
AAM: Yes, I have. Most of heaven has.
S: Oh, no. Really?
AAM: I’m teasing you. Yes, we are aware. But also know that what you are doing is some very deep housecleaning. (2)
I presume, based on what Gabrielle said, that the same applies to many people.
He also told me that I’d emerge “addicted to love.” That hasn’t happened quite yet!
Yes, the housecleaning was deep. It was as deep as I can possibly imagine going. Let me illustrate.
I awoke in the middle of the night last night and saw something that brought me to a complete standstill and humbled me.
Previously I had always placed my Dad over there and me over here. In the middle of the night, I awoke seeing my Dad a few feet away from me. At that moment, the words of Farmgirl came to me:
“Hear not the blaming word,
But listen far below it,
To the secret speaking
And the silent cry.” (3)
I saw the tortured look on his face, that look of terrifying anger that I knew so well.
I felt emboldened by Farmgirl’s words and entered into his body in my imagination. I was actually enabled to feel how he felt. I walked a mile in his shoes, so to speak.
I got how dismal and awful he felt. I actually experienced compassion towards my Dad, for the first time in my life.
I remembered all the abuse he’d suffered in his life – being roughly treated, kicked out of the house, rejected by his father, and later by his mother – what torture that must have been.
But the most important thing I got out of trying him on and testing it out is that I saw that, when I become super-frustrated, super-angry, or super-upset, I become my Dad.
I had never seen this before. I had heard it said on occasion, but it remained intellectual knowledge. But I now saw that I actually became my Dad on those occasions. I had an experience of it. It became experiential knowledge.
I got that I can be terrifying at those times. My smugness at holding my Dad over there and me over here disappeared.
In the growth movement, we’d have spoken about “calling oneself on our own numbers.” When we have a realization like this, it works to call ourselves on the number (routine, act, pattern) we see. It makes it real by fixing it in the mind. And publicly declaring it makes it undeniable, nailing our foot to the floor. Not everyone would want to do this, but I do.
My number is that I become my Dad when I’m super-frustrated or super-angry. So it really isn’t that Dad is out there and I am in here. Dad is in here too. I am my Dad.
I feel sobered and humbled by what I’ve seen. I’m not wanting to dramatize it. If anything I feel like meditating on it and really getting it, sucking the juice out of the realization. I feel a deep sense of release and relief spreading through my body, the indication that this is a true seeing.
I feel distinctly different at this moment. There’s a tingling feeling happening and a flood of calm, a wave of peacefulness passing through me.
I’d like to think that the Company of Heaven is taking this whole way of being away from me, as they did in the “System Restore.” (4) But I don’t know that yet.
I’m humbled by this experience, which was brought on by the Tsunami of Love. I wouldn’t wish to hide it from you. Without acknowledging things like these, we can never be free of them.
The other day when I said I was operating from ignorance in 1986, (5) people wrote in and asked me not to call myself ignorant. Others wrote in and said that, if I was not a fount of love, they despaired about themselves.
I’d like to go a little deeper with that, if you’d permit me. Until we look at the truth of our way of being, we cannot be free of it. It wouldn’t work for you, it wouldn’t work for me if I were to pretend to be in a place I’m not.
I see that I’ve become my Dad and seeing that is not awful for me or an abandonment of you. Seeing that is liberating. And acknowledging this to you is also liberating. It’s emergence. It’s freedom.
Footnotes
(1) “Archangel Gabrielle Beckons Us: Come Fly with Me… You are Ready!,” Council of Love, September 21, 2014, at https://counciloflove.com/2014/09/archangel-gabrielle-beckons-us-come-fly-with-me-you-are-ready/
(2) Personal reading with Archangel Michael and Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 22, 2014. Also see “Addicted to Love and the Middle Way,” Aug. 26, 2014 at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/08/26/addicted-to-love-and-the-middle-way/.
(3) “This Manitoba Farmgirl,” Sept. 20, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/09/20/this-manitoba-farmgirl/.
(4) “System Restore,” May 10, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/05/10/system-restore/.
(5) “So Why am I Not a Fount of Love?” Sept. 21, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/09/21/so-why-am-i-not-a-fount-of-love/.