CA, an active participant in Linda Dillon’s webinar series, The New You, shows us how our Ascension process, our journeys of self and the Mother’s Tsunami of Love are intertwined.
The Wave brings you the biggest love of your life……… yourself!
The most amazing thing has happened. I’ve met the most awe-inspiring person. She’s funny, she’s caring. She’s loving. She’s interesting to talk to. She looks good and when I’m with her she makes me feel joyous and happy. She’s………… ME!
The Divine Mother brought us the gift of the Tsunami wave, full of love and full of promise. Like a two-year-old toddler, we eagerly ran to the shore where the water met the sand and then reluctantly and timidly dipped our big toes in to test the waters. Once we gained confidence, we took it to the next level. We began to paddle, running into those waves with intent and determination, only to run back onto the safety of the sandy shore.
After a few times it then became like a fun game, we became braver, stronger, more confident. We felt safer. Once again. We took it a little further. Without the aid of our water wings, rubber rings or the reliance of a parent, we jumped in and started to swim. We began to trust. We rapidly progressed to being fully emerged in these waves only to absorb the love enmeshed in waves.
This process I call ‘Ascension in swimming!’ We’ve all felt the strength of the Mother’s love through these waves. I know I have. I’ve spent some of the time face down on my floor clutching a box of tissues, and some of the time dancing through the daisies, sprinkling my fairy dust over all who need it! So yes, a roller-coaster ride is exactly what it’s been and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The general feeling of the Tsunami is that of feeling the love and emanating the love. I have most definitely experienced this. I think we all have.
In true human form, we’re always the last to receive this love. We do so very well at giving, but we haven’t quite mastered the receiving bit. This is why we experience the block of abundance in whatever form that might be.
It’s all there in front of us but we ‘think’ we can’t reach it. Oh goodness no! We must never take for ourselves. That would just be wrong! It’s like our pockets are full of health, wealth, happiness and bliss but our arms are too short! We can’t reach. I’ve had a few boyfriends like that, let me tell you!!
The Tsunami of Love, in my experience, is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s about receiving the new. The ‘new’ for me is the love for myself.
Every morning I walk into my gym to start a new day. I switch my lights on, turn on the Powerplate machines and await the arrival of my first client. To kill time, I stand in the middle of my four-way mirrors and observe my lady lumps from every angle.
I pull my stomach in, clench my bottom cheeks together, squeezing the flesh from the back of my thighs to make them look super skinny from the front! There you go – I am skinny, I have the perfect body, the perfect look. I am so ready for the catwalk. Where’s my bikini??
Then I let it all go, letting out a deep sigh of hopelessness and despondency. I start to entertain the absolute crazy-lady-extreme-way of thinking……. I’ll just wrap my self in cling film, really tight. It’ll hold it all in. I’ll lose weight and then all will be right with the world. I’ll be happy.
After pondering the thought that I may look like the previous night’s leftovers in my fridge, I abandon the idea and start to become a little more rational. Will I ever be that body that I want to be?? My client arrives. I put on my happy face and step into the persona of exercise trainer and role model. If only they knew that I was as human as they are!
Before I embarked on the “The New You” (1), I was a machine. I was strict in my training, my diet and my overall health and fitness regime locked down and supported with an unhealthy dose of control! If I didn’t train or eat right that day, I felt completely out of balance, like I’d lost control.
The thought process would have been that of abuse – “Oh you are so useless, you’ve let yourself down, and you have not achieved what was required for that day… now go and sit in the naughty corner and think about what you’ve done!”
I have now come to realize that exercise has become a channel for self-abuse. It is a way to batter your self-worth. If you don’t get to exercise that day, you’re useless. If you do exercise that day, you didn’t try hard enough – you’re super useless.
Working your physical body is a grounding experience, a way to anchor the light into your physical being. It should be fun, enjoyable – a gift!
We’re here to honor ourselves, not to hammer the living daylights out of our very beings, hanging off a spin bike! No no no! That’s not it, trust me!
Now I stride into the gym, no need to suck it up, suck it in or squeeze together. I AM that body I want to be, I AM the person I want to be. I AM important and I AM enough.
I have now come to realize that I have always been there. What I have so desperately been searching for has always been there. It’s like those days you’re running around your house, searching high and low for your car keys that you didn’t realize you had in your hand!! Duh!
I feel a little like a piece of broken glass that has been discarded into the sea, I have been washed, tumbled and polished, only to emerge looking like a shiny crystal, glistening in the sun. I am so far from my original form it’s frightening.
So be that little piece of broken glass! Let go of control. ALLOW the wave to wash you, polish you and make you a crystal gem. That’s nothing less than you deserve.
Footnotes
(1) Info about “The New You” by Linda Dillon here .
The Tsunami of Love meditation link is here.
For information about the Annual Council of Love Gathering, Fall 2014,
Oct. 3-5, Lake Tahoe, California please look here.