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I Just Need to Love

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Happy Independence Day, America!

There’s no better contribution that I can make than to share my record of shaking free from a few unworkable behavior patterns, if you’d allow me.  It seems fitting on Independence Day.

What makes this time different for me than times past is that in the past I’d always be hearing about someone else’s crisis. Yes, from time to time that would be interrupted by a triple bypass or prostate cancer, but none of that was any big deal (the recovery might be).

I even emerged from what I consider to be a heart attack better than I’d been before. (1)

Most of what was happening was far away. I was always, seemingly, in the eye of the storm.

Now, one crisis after another, has hit in rapid succession. They were almost like hammer blows, given how the one before it already rattled my nerves. I was in the thick of it. (The crises were still happening a day after this article was written.)

Let me start with the bandit ATM, a few crises in. Imagine feeding an ATM $1,000 and getting back a receipt saying thank you for your $340? Machines are not supposed to be robbers and thieves. There went my faith in machines!

And the bus-pass machine later the same day denying me service? What is this? Was I in the Warsaw Ghetto or something that a machine is saying no service for you? Of course I’m by this time nearly horizontal from all the other things going wrong, many of which I’m not reviewing here.

And a day after writing this article, I heard that a good friend had just had an operation to treat three ulcers and could die. And another good friend delivered a baby in one hospital room in a rural town while her brother-in-law passed away after a heart attack in the room across the way.  This has been a bizarre week x 10.

In my view, I’m in boot camp. The Company of Heaven is raising one scenario after another that raises one vasana (or core issue) after another.

I say it’s all being done on purpose.

I got at a realizational level and not just an intellectual or experiential level (2) that I’m in transition from being a writer only to a writer and a humanitarian philanthropist/CEO.   And I still have many vasanas (core issues), which translate into many vulnerabilities.

Many holes in the dike. Much bleeding off of energy to maintain my old holding patterns. And condemning myself to trying to move others by control, carrot and stick, etc.

In my old hermit role, all was manageable because I was walled off from “disturbances.” But this will be a complete change of scene and modus operandi and I’d best be ready for it.

Clean up my eating habits. T-shirt and jeans? Remember how to be in civilized company and “pass.”

Change my vote on a lot of matters. (3)

***

Then relief comes in a moment when I remember….

… and experience and know what will change all this….

Love.

I breathe love up from my heart and voila! All my worries vanish.

I remember what Michael said:

AAM: Love is the energy of the universe. It is the energy of the Mother. And it moves constantly, continually, eternally, infinitely. So, to have an experience of love, it [must move] through you.  (4) [My emphasis.]

 I’m having an experience of love right now as it moves through me and out to the world, on my inbreath and outbreath.

This is how I’m going to do it.  Remind me when I forget.

If ever there were a demonstration for me that “love is the answer,” it’s right now, showing how drawing love up from my heart and experiencing it as it passes through me calms me in the midst of crisis.

(I’m talking about a higher form of love than we normally experience, but will experience more and more of as time passes.)

Back to the transition.  Given that I lack all knowledge of business matters and yet Michael and Sanat Kumara still want me to be right where I am, (6) I’ll act on what I actually do know … and mostly that is “love,” the nature of love, the mechanics of love….

People understand love. It’s a universal. They respond to it.

I don’t need to strategize, just as the blog has never needed to advertise.  I just need to love.

Footnotes

(1) My slipped disc was healed and about 90% of the pain in my left knee from arthritis is gone as a result of that “heart attack” experience. Just enough is left, I surmise, to slow me down, which I believe to be its purpose.

(2) On the levels of knowledge, see:

(3) On changing my vote, see:

(4) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Dec. 5, 2018. (Henceforth, AAM.)

(5)  Steve: You must know that … I have the proclivities of a monk. I’m not attracted to making money or earning money. I have a hard time getting going in that whole area.

AAM: Because it is not what you are here to do.

Steve: I don’t feel it is.

AAM: No, it is not. Understand that.

Steve: Okay, for the rest I am just trusting. I’m just leaving it up to you and that’s what I should do, right?

AAM: That is all you can do. And it is so, and I truly mean that you have reached a point in your heart, in your being, in your life, in your consciousness where you are realizing … first of all you are realizing the magnitude of our partnership but you’re also realizing that worry and fear and angst do not create and they do not birth.

Yes, there are times, fight or flight, where it may spur you into action but in and of itself, fear and worry will not do anything. (AAM, Aug. 17, 2018.)