by Digger Barr
gaiasgardens.guru/
It’s easy to get swept up into the fervor of current events.
It’s easy to let our attention guide our senses.
As we learn more about what we are paying attention to it feels like we become a part of it.
We own it. We repeat what we learned. We weigh in on what it means to us.
We become what we think about. What we learned gets turned into how we feel.
Then we look for others with the same ideas, learning all the while not to engage with others that don’t share our opinion.
Or worse.
We adjust our daily habits, from our conversations with others to the self talk in our heads.
We either stop watching tv or start.
We join news threads, dynamic podcasters or block and cancel others.
We become fixated on the algorithm feeds coming in over our phones.
They got us. They captured my attention.
I have been captured.
I know this because I click on things I don’t really care about.
If I take just a minute and sit in a moment of quiet, I find my mind is racing.
There are so many thoughts wrestling for attention than none of them stick around for any real consideration.
Like a batch of newborn puppies, ideas tumble and toss around, eyes shut, crawling over each other looking for a point of sustenance.
‘Feed me’, my mind cries.
What happened to my ability to enjoy meditation?
Granted there is a lot going on that is important.
The changes are happening so fast and furious it is difficult to keep up.
My life is merely a reflection of the world that we live in.
There are many moving parts and I have to keep moving with them or else.
Or else what?
This is the question that got me to stop moving.
I stared out the window.
The natural light had begun to show soft blue instead of dense clouds.
As backdrop to the trees, branches stood out as fractals connecting earth and sky.
I felt my body almost shiver as I took in a breath from a depth of me that had been dormant.
Winter was fading in the Northern hemisphere.
Although this corner of the world didn’t see the harshness of winter we were used to.
It was still a calendar event that was flipping the page.
Typically I enjoy winter hibernation for the peace and calm it brings me.
It didn’t happen that way for me this year.
I was caught up in the tides of change, monitoring the fast court press hanging on every pass of the ball.
My quiet has been left wanting in a game never ending.
A squirrel runs the length of a branch then leaps with confidence onto another tree.
He doesn’t have the internet. He isn’t distracted and knows what he needs to do next.
His definition of limbo is jumping from limb to limb, not waiting for something else to decide his day.
It’s early in the day and he is getting on with it.
My deep breath had brought me calm and I noticed my breathing was relaxed and steady.
I had inadvertently stepped into a world of quiet. My mind was quiet. My senses were heightened.
I felt my feet connect with the earth and my arms stretched out to the sky.
I had connected, reconnected to myself, reconnected to Gaia.
It really wasn’t that hard at all.
All it needed was a moment of my attention.
Distraction from the distraction set me right as rain.
Why would I need to look outside of myself for guidance?
The world out there is confusing and volatile.
Why would I want to bring that into this being?
I trust the squirrel can function without me.
The players will pass the ball and the game will have a conclusion.
I could still enjoy watching but there is no need to own it.
It occurs to me that I, as a human, am interesting enough to try to figure out.
I don’t need to give myself away.
I am needed right here at home.
And how fortunate am I to be able to do just that.
My gratitude is immense in just being me in this moment.
Digger26