Scott Mills: I Was Hoping It Wasn’t True

Deepak Chopra

Very long, but well worth the read. Thanks to Sitara.

I Was Hoping It Wasn’t True

Written by Scott Mills, Feb. 16, 2026, by email

Scott has spent nearly two decades in the personal development industry – not as a critic, but as a believer. He’s coached, consulted, and taught alongside some of the biggest names in the space. This is the hardest thing he’s ever written.

Just before I turned 30, when my partner died and I was in the midst of the worst grief of my life, I turned to Deepak Chopra’s work for comfort.

It helped. His words about consciousness and healing and the nature of suffering — they held me together when I didn’t think I could hold myself. I’m not embarrassed to say that. Millions of people have had the same experience. That’s how he built what he built.

I believed so deeply that a few years later, I bought a VIP ticket at a Yoga Journal conference just to get my copy of Super Brain signed. I paid extra just to meet the man.

I believed so deeply that by 2018, I was standing on a stage in Portland introducing him to a room full of people who had come to hear him speak about consciousness. I wasn’t in the audience. I was the MC.

What follows isn’t written from a place of righteousness. It’s written from heartbreak.

I Was Hoping It Wasn’t True

When the Department of Justice released the Epstein files on January 30, 2026, Deepak Chopra’s name was in them.

I was still hoping. Being named in someone’s files could mean anything. Maybe someone was talking about him. Maybe it was peripheral. Maybe there was an innocent explanation.

The media wasn’t helping me find one. Every outlet was running the same five or six quotes with no context, no timeline. It felt like sensationalism. I wanted to believe it was.

So I went to the files myself. Not because I’m brave. Because I couldn’t stop. Part of me was hoping to save him — to save the man whose words had held me together when nothing else could.

I have now read approximately 700 documents from the Epstein-Chopra correspondence. I didn’t go looking for dirt. I went looking for a reason to still believe in the man whose work had been a comfort to me in the darkest time of my life.

I didn’t find one.

I’m not a journalist, a lawyer, or an investigator. What follows is what I found. You can read the files yourself, on the Department of Justice website, and decide what you think they mean.

3,466

That’s the number of times Deepak Chopra’s name appears in the Epstein files.
Deepak Chopra is one of the most influential personal development leaders on the planet. Ninety-five books. Tens of millions of copies sold. A global brand built on the word consciousness.

Epstein Came With Baggage

Jeffrey Epstein had already been convicted of procuring a child for prostitution in 2008. He was a registered sex offender. This was public knowledge.

Every email, every visit, every exchange about women and girls that I describe below took place after the world already knew what Jeffrey Epstein was.

“Talk About Something Nice”

When the files became public, Chopra posted a statement on X. Comments turned off.
A journalist confronted him at an airport. Video widely shared. He repeatedly said “you decide” and “I’m not answering.” He asserted “No misconduct. Zero.” He said he would testify before Congress.

His wife intervened and asked the journalist to “talk about something nice.”

In his written statement:

“Deeply saddened by the suffering of the victims”

“Unequivocally” condemned abuse and exploitation

“Never involved in, nor did I participate in, any criminal or exploitative conduct”
Contact was “limited and unrelated to abusive activity”

Some exchanges “reflect poor judgment in tone”

Meanwhile, his new book is being promoted. His AI chatbot continues to operate. His speaking schedule remains intact.

The man who built a global brand on the word consciousness posted his only response on X with comments turned off. His wife told a journalist to “talk about something nice.”
And then he went back to selling books.

A Deep and Loving Friendship, Revealed

“I’m deeply grateful for our friendship.” — Deepak Chopra to Jeffrey Epstein, July 11, 2017

Let me tell you the story of a friendship.

Overnights at the Abuse House

On January 4, 2017, Deepak Chopra was in town teaching at Google. On his way to the airport, he stopped by Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan townhouse. “I will come by at 11 on way to airport. Will leave at 11:45 AM.”

Forty-five minutes between flights. To see a convicted sex offender.

That wasn’t unusual. It was a pattern. The files confirm at least 20 in-person meetings over 28 months — Manhattan townhouse, Palm Beach estate, Chopra’s own events, dinners with Woody Allen and the sitting President of the United Nations General Assembly.

Chopra stayed overnight at 358 El Brillo Way. That’s Epstein’s Palm Beach estate.

That’s the house where the abuse happened.

Christmas Eve 2018 — six months before the arrest — he was still sending Epstein casual article links.

Love, XOXO, XOXOXO

They signed off with “Love.” With “xoxo.” With “xoxoxo.” With “All love” and “Sending love.”

Not once. Routinely. Across hundreds of emails.

“Will miss you then. Hope to see you in May.”

“Last night was a blast. Ended 1 AM.”

“I Will Die Riding the Tiger”

They had their own language. A private metaphor that threads through the entire correspondence.

“Are you trying to give the tiger jet lag.”

“I will die riding the tiger.”

“The tiger is hungry.”

Deepak to Jeffrey

June 2017:

“I slipped into permanent peace and joy a few weeks ago.”

November 2017:

“It was extraordinary. I came to know death. It has not left me. I sat later for 10 hours in stillness — presence with no constructs, no stories. I have no conflict, no quarrels, no judgement, no clinging, no desire to prove, convince, cajole or seduce.”
April 2018:

“Now a different phase and preparation for death.”

Epstein: “I think fun, safe fun is a category you need to add to your five dailies.”

Chopra: “Totally agree.”

He forwarded a private email from philosopher Donald Hoffman about Hoffman’s dying father.

The man who performed wisdom for millions had found someone he didn’t have to perform for. And that someone was a convicted sex offender.

The Pact

July 2016. Chopra to Epstein:

“Anything we share is between us. I share nothing with anyone but trust you.”
Epstein:

“I share nothing with anyone but trust you.”

“Better to Make Any Grant to Chopra Foundation. It’s a 501(c)(3).”

Epstein directed a $25,000 grant from his “Gratitude Foundation” through his financial associate Richard Kahn to fund savant research at UCSD connected to Chopra.

Chopra redirected the money to his own foundation.

The check was FedExed the same day.

That’s the relationship. Epstein didn’t just confide in Chopra and sign off with “Love.” He moved money for him. He brokered deals. He opened doors to some of the wealthiest and most powerful people on earth — and Chopra walked through every one of them.

“Did You Get Your Term Sheet?”

Epstein connected Chopra to David Stern’s electric car company for integration with Chopra’s Jiyo wellness platform.

Epstein checked in: “Did you get your term sheet?” Chopra: “3 more weeks.”

Epstein checked in again: “Progress?” Chopra: “Almost. Not fully formalized but soon.”

Epstein wrote the partnership terms himself: “Tell Joe in your partnership you are responsible for his physical and spiritual health, financial health ie car.”

Epstein offered to “wire money to begin project non local” — funding Chopra’s consciousness research.

Epstein fed Chopra intel: “Kaiser permanente is at the forefront of wellness.” The “potential is HHUUGGEE.”

The Road to the Crown Prince

Chopra provided medical recommendations for “Shaikha” — a title used by female members of Gulf royal families. The introduction came through Epstein.

Chopra met a Qatari contact at Epstein’s Palm Beach estate — the abuse house — and followed up with business pitches, CC’ing Epstein on the emails.

Chopra headlined a “Soul of Leadership & Future of Wellness” event in Saudi Arabia. Epstein identified the Saudi Health Minister as interested in Chopra’s platform.

Chopra emailed Epstein philosophical musings from “the flight from Dubai to LA.”

Chopra texted Epstein: “Landing in SFO. Event for Crown Prince tomorrow.”

Mohammed bin Salman’s Silicon Valley visit. And Deepak Chopra was there — connected through a pipeline that ran directly through a convicted sex offender’s living room.

That is not a relationship you walk away from. It may explain why Chopra never did.

How He Talks About Women

“Cute girls are aware when they make noises.”

“She is v sweet — like your girls.”

“Come to Israel with us. If you want use a fake name. Bring your girls.”

Those are Deepak Chopra’s words. Written to Jeffrey Epstein. After his conviction.

I need to stop here and tell you what it was like to read these.

I came to the files hoping the quotes I’d seen in the news were taken out of context.

What I found was the opposite. The context made them worse.

“Secondary to Cute”

Chopra shared a video of actress and writer Kat Foster with Epstein. “She is good.”
Epstein: “Is she in new york?”

Chopra told him she was in California. That she’d visited for a weekend. That he’d “invited again in future.” He described her as “Innocent and smart at the same time.”

Epstein: “Secondary to cute.”

The conversation moved on.

“Hair Color?”

Chopra shared a video from his trip to Saudi Arabia.

Epstein’s only response: “hair color?”

Chopra deflected — “I don’t use any hair color!” — as if it were a joke about his own appearance.

Epstein pressed: “Looks good, who is the Saudi girl?”

Chopra: “There were many beautiful Saudi girls.”

“Like Your Girls”

Chopra wrote about an unnamed woman: “She is v sweet — like your girls.”

“Bring Your Girls”

Chopra invited Epstein to Israel:

“Come to Israel with us. Relax and have fun with interesting people. If you want use a fake name. Bring your girls. It will be fun to have you. Love.”

Epstein declined.

Chopra pushed: “Your girls would love it as would you.”

“I’ll Bring the Cheerleaders”

Chopra invited Epstein to a debate with Michael Shermer and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Epstein: “great, ill bring the cheerleaders :)”

Chopra: “Yes! Do bring them! It will be fun!”

Chopra invited Epstein to his workshop in Zurich: “You should come to my 2 day workshop with your girls in Switzerland in Zurich — small village in suburbs. Will be fun.”

Epstein offered to “send two girls” to Chopra’s Wall Street speaking event.

Chopra: “Please send their names to me and I will put their names as my guests.” He CC’d Epstein’s assistant on logistics.

“Your Girls”

Your girls. Your girls. Your girls.

Not once in 700 pages does Chopra ask who they are. Their names. Their ages. How they know Epstein. Whether they’re there by choice.

“Zero in on Your Prey”

A text exchange reported by Voice of San Diego. Chopra described a woman as “more connected to reality than the brilliant scientists.”

The response: “I liked watching you zero in on your prey.”

Chopra did not object.

In a separate exchange, Chopra wrote to Epstein: “What do I enjoy most? My biological needs are met occasionally, but that too — it seems I’ve been there, done that.” He described enjoying the company of “younger, intellectually sharp and self-aware women,” saying he liked to “inspire and stimulate them.”

He saw Epstein’s “girls” clearly enough to invite them to Israel, to Zurich, to Wall Street.

He just never saw them as people worth asking about.

The Silence

Twenty-one names. Over 250 million followers combined. The DOJ files have been public since January 30, 2026. Not one of these people has said a word.

In fairness, Brené Brown’s platforms went quiet in late 2024 following the loss of her mother. She may still be grieving. I can extend grace for that. But she is one of the most influential voices on courage and vulnerability alive today. And she is not alone in her silence.

A Sixteen-Year-Old Girl Was Braver

The coverage has come from Indian press outlets. International media. NPR. The Voice of San Diego. The Daily Beast.

It has come from individual bloggers. One practitioner wrote on February 7 that “just about everything I took from my decade-plus immersed in spiritual living and studies was built on quicksand.”

It has come from Sevda Rubens, who posted on X that Chopra gave her his phone number at a meditation event in Europe when she was sixteen and insisted they meet late at night. Her post has been viewed over two million times.

A sixteen-year-old girl had more courage than twenty-one people with a combined audience of a quarter billion.

I don’t know what Deepak Chopra did or didn’t do. I don’t know what happened behind closed doors. I’m not making that accusation.

What I know is that one of the most influential personal development leaders on the planet maintained a deep, loving, financially entangled relationship with a convicted sex offender for over two years — and when the evidence became public, an entire industry looked the other way.

That alone demands a conversation. And we’re not having it.

They Are Watching

There are women out there — real women, real girls — whose lives intersected with these men’s orbits. Some of their names are in those files, unredacted by a Department of Justice that couldn’t even protect their identities properly.

They are watching to see if anyone in a position of influence will say their suffering matters.

And the people with the biggest megaphones in the world of healing and consciousness have given them silence.

The Performance

This is not a story about one man.

This is a story about an industry that built a billion-dollar empire on the words courage, truth, and transformation — and when the moment came to actually be courageous, to actually tell the truth, to actually transform, it went silent.

We teach people to face their pain. To sit with discomfort. To have hard conversations. To tell the truth even when their voice shakes.

And then a convicted sex offender’s files dropped with one of our most famous leaders’ names in them 3,466 times — and we said nothing.

If we can’t say that the sexual abuse of children is wrong — without hedging, without disclaiming, without waiting to see which way the wind blows — then everything we teach is a performance. Every book. Every retreat. Every podcast episode about “living your truth.” A performance.

This industry has become a place of comfort, not of genuine growth. We have confused feeling good with doing good. We have built communities that are spectacular at processing emotions and pathological at taking moral stands. We can hold space for anything except accountability.

That is what the silence reveals.

Not that twenty-one people are cowards. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. But that the system we built — the whole ecosystem of followers and platforms and events and email lists — was never designed to handle a moment like this. It was designed to sell transformation. Not to practice it.

We Are Frauds If We Stay Silent on This

This industry taught me to tell the truth. So here it is.

We are frauds if we stay silent on this.

Every leader on that list has built a career telling people to be brave. To face hard things. To live in truth. And when the hard thing showed up — when it actually cost something to speak — they went quiet.

That’s not caution. That’s cowardice.

And if you are Deepak Chopra — testify. You said you would. Not on X with the comments turned off. Before Congress, under oath, as you promised.

If nothing changes — if the list stays silent, if the industry keeps selling awakening while refusing to wake up, if we keep treating courage as a product instead of a practice — then we deserve every bit of the credibility we’re about to lose.

Because the world is watching now. Not just the women in those files. Everyone.
I wish the files had told a different story. I wish I could still stand on that stage in Portland and feel what I felt before I knew what I know now.

But I can’t unknow it. And neither can you, now that you’ve read this far.

The system isn’t just the abusers.

It’s also the ones who stay silent.
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