by Digger Barr
https://gaiasgardens.guru/
Growing up on the REZ has made the greatest impact on my life.
I did not know that impact would be so defined in this moment of my life.
Growing up on the Reservation was filled with stories of oppression, poverty, alcoholism, government dependency, Catholicism and boarding schools.
It was wrought with suicides, death by exposure and every hardship bestowed upon man trying to survive without means at the mercy of the elements.
Juxtaposed, my position was one of privilege. As a child with working parents, we had means, a good home, sustainable food and water.
Although by mainstream standards we were borderline poverty, by rez standards we were rich.
I never felt any of those judgments. I didn’t feel lack nor did I feel pampered.
To me it was a childhood full of freedom. My time was spent in direct connection to nature.
I did as I wished with little to no supervision or expectations.
My days were what I made of them.
By mainstream standards this was luxury, by rez standards it was just another day.
This taught me independence, free thinking and gave me a strong sense of my sovereign self.
My connection to spirit was discovered in the trees.
The world beyond the veil came to me in dreams.
In moments of stillness as I felt its presence in the quiet.
Sometimes I would see things.
My imagination was my entertainment and my best friend.
I was not aware of the rest of the world growing up.
Each day passed into another, time meant nothing.
I walked on the best side of a tough existence.
Coming off the Rez was an eye opener.
There were many things in American culture that were completely foreign to me.
As I grew into an adult and began engaging with the system I found it to be strange and frankly, unfair.
I did not understand why people were so willing to give up their power and let themselves be so controlled.
I did not understand the threats that followed with each proclamation that, ‘you shalt do this.’
I did not know why everyone complied with what seemed to be a very corrupt system that was making everyone sad.
I could see clearly that everybody had things that I never had.
Everyone had a home of luxury compared to mine.
This was the American middle class.
Everyone had access to fancy food, nice cars, fun games and name brand clothes.
I did not know anything about name brand clothes.
The idea that someone would spend so much money on an article of clothing that didn’t seem to be very durable was beyond my understanding.
Apparently the price was based on the name.
That made no sense to me.
Why would you pay top dollar for someone’s name endorsing a thin piece of cloth?
I much rather have something of quality and solid construction that would last longer.
This became my underlying investment model and it has worked very well for me.
I have come to appreciate finer fabrics but I can spot see a gimmick a mile away.
And there are plenty of them out there. Let’s take the dollar bill for example.
It can tear and burn quite easily.
Maybe I just have an odd sense of money.
We used money on the rez too, but its value was different.
I spent my young adulthood trying to fit in with American culture.
I bought into the system and tried very hard to do what I was supposed to do.
But I never could quite get it right. I was always thinking there was a better way and ended up doing things in a way I thought seemed more fair.
I would speak up and share my thoughts. This would often end in ridicule or warnings I would get in trouble.
In school my grades tanked because I asked too many why’s.
The answer ‘this is how it is done’ was never a good fit for me.
There were some moments of inspiration along the way.
A high school teacher that embarrassed me when showing the entire class my outstanding poem about apathy.
A college professor that called me out when I wrote my own theory about fear. He asked me to state my source.
When I said it was my own thoughts, he asked me out to lunch.
Original thought wasn’t something he saw very often.
Mostly I was told to keep quiet and just repeat what I was being told.
This was a very important lesson as I learned that people don’t want to hear different ideas.
They were more comfortable just following the crowd.
I found this disturbing and wanted to find out about the truths of things.
I could see the world was blinded and this set me apart from the rest.
I started speaking out freely knowing that no matter how hard I tried I was not going to fit in.
I started pointing out the corruption in the system. I found the catch lines in advertising.
I saw the programming in almost everything.
I heard people repeat what they had been told.
The one thing that I did not know was the connection that it all had.
It began with chemtrails actually.
It was when someone pointed out to me that those lines in the sky were happening more and more.
I had seen them but had no idea what had caused them.
When I heard the name, chemtrail, something clicked.
This was beyond the corruption of banks trying to rob us of our money.
This was a different undeniable assault on our planet.
A visual affront that required mass coordination, big money and direct intentional harm.
I made that phone call to the EPA. I hit that brick wall and what I had been witnessing all my life shifted into a whole new arena.
This was a direct attack and I was not okay with it.
My response was that I felt empowered to stand my own ground.
People around me noticed my conviction in a different way.
You have to pay taxes, they said, That is the law. They will put you in jail.
You have to get licensed, That is how business is run fairly.
So we can all pay our fair share and support our social services, pave our roads, and on and on.
You need to wear your seat belt. Its the law. You do not have the right to be stupid. We have laws to think so you don’t have to.
Let me just say, boy did I ever push people’s buttons when I refused to wear a mask.
I mentioned to a gal how difficult it had become to go into a store, and she said exasperatingly,’ just put on a mask’.
The rage and conviction that rose up in me was powerful.
Almost like the fate of humanity rested upon my shoulders.
I felt the love behind that conviction as I looked directly into her eyes and said, No. I really cannot do that.
Never in any of my battles did I think about winning.
How is it winning when people already have what should come naturally?
How could I possibly turn the tide and get people to understand their own power?
How would I ever be able to express my world view when they could not understand an alternative perspective ?
How do you get people to stand up for themselves when they are filled with apathy or fear?
My battles were for all of humanity but mostly they were so that I could live with myself, in my truth.
So I did not think about winning. I had found a place within myself that had found peace in a world at war.
From this place I could operate freely within all the injustices of the outside world.
It can be a lonely and chastised experience.
Until the day I met the world that agreed.
Thank you covid for bringing out the hidden warriors.
This unexpected revolution of people standing in their power brings me to tears.
This is the freshest breath of air we have collectively taken since … well, ever in my current lifetime.
I keep pinching myself.
Is this real?
OMG, it is!
Funny, I can’t wait to catch the news.
Just for a minute, then I turn it off.
There are still the people in disbelief. I hear them complain about things they don’t understand.
I have learned many things about how to battle corruption, oppression and the mind control of our world.
Turning my back on my friends is not one of them.
There is still so much fear controlling the general population.
I cannot turn their heads for them, but I can be here for them when they look around and wonder.
I will continue to be a pillar in my community.
They may not know who they are talking to at first. Or they may choose to walk away.
I will respect that they have empowered themselves in that action.
I will continue to stand in my truth. It’s the only way I know.
And from my position, if I can ease their mind in any way and help them find that place of peace, it will be a good day.
With each soul, one by one, we will all be one step closer.
Winning is one way to look at it.
This implies a loser.
In this case a loser that is aware they were cheating all of us.
For those I have no regard.
I have seen the cheaters trying to steal everything.
This is the Redemption Song.
Digger25