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Not My Time

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I have to apologize but I’m still processing the medical incident of Feb. 24-5, 2024. (1)

And marvelling at it!

It had all the earmarks of a heart attack that may have occurred in my sleep with none of the outcomes. It even resulted in a healing.

It was as if someone strapped me in a movie seat and said, “OK, now, we’re going to show you a movie and give you realistic sensations throughout your body. But it’s all a show.”

Lights, cameras, action!

Immediately after getting up from bed in the morning, I found that my words slurred and then it stopped. Thank you for that one.

Next in line was fainting, which saw my body freeze on the way down and never come close to the ground. And then my situation awareness returned and I recovered and carried on.

I see that as divine intervention. It was here that I began to suspect I’d had some kind of medical event while I was asleep.

For the next two days I went through tingling on my left side, bodily shakes, my right hand shaking, a growth in my stomach arising and then disappearing, and finally my knee violently shaking back and forth.

The last one was different from the rest because it actually resulted in me losing 90% of the pain I had from a persisting knee condition and 100% from a hip condition. So they slipped that treatment in with the movie, I think. I believe they use medical events and similar occasions to accomplish several purposes at once.

I also consider it to have been a choicepoint. You want to go? OK, now is a safe time and place to make your exit. We can stop the carousel here.

But I’m what’s called a “pillar” – a lightworker who’s agreed to stay till the end. (2) So it isn’t in my soul contract to go now. Thus I think that Michael and the Mother allowed the symptoms to play on me for a while; they didn’t deprive me of the experience. And then they ended it.

I imagine if, at soul level, I wanted to leave, they would have allowed that. Michael implied as much when we discussed early ascension:

Steve: Should I be orienting toward ascending early or not? I have this sense that I’m supposed to be here.

Archangel Michael: You’re supposed to be here.

S: So it’s not my lot to go early? I’m going to stay at this post?

AAM: If you sit with me and you ask of me to come right away, then of course, I will work with you. Such is my love for you. That has not been our plan.

S: No … well, I understand that I’m supposed to be doing what I’m doing. I don’t want to be going against the plan.

AAM: Then stay put, dear heart. (3)

These are priceless experiences and strengthen my faith in my invisible partners.

***

That having been said, I was still quite shaken up by the experience but the miraculous nature of it, which implies their involvement, in my mind, far outweighs any medical considerations I may have had.

I don’t even see the event as medical so much as a demonstration of a spiritual truth: If it’s not your time, nothing will have you leave; if it is your time, nothing can keep you from going. (4)

I hope this incident demonstrates that for you. It certainly did for me. It was not my time.

Footnotes

(1) See:

(2)  Archangel Michael: I remind you that you are a pillar, that you [are] not [to] venture too far ahead of where people are, both individually in terms of your smaller circle but also in terms of the collective.  (AAM, Jan. 18, 2020.)

AAM: If you venture, as you would often like, too far ahead of the crowd, then who are you speaking to? (AAM, Aug. 21, 2015.)

(3) AAM, Sept. 13, 2011.)

(4) Michael said after he saved me from electrocuting myself in 1970:

Steve: I should’ve been electrocuted! Did you have a hand in that? Tell me what you did or what happened?

Archangel Michael: Well, it was not a major undertaking, Sweet One, to simply prevent the flow of electricity. So, yes, it was not your time. You were, shall we say, young and foolish. …

Steve: I don’t know how I just reconciled it so easily at the time.

AAM: Because there were no consequences! Because the consequences would have been quite dire.

Steve: Well, what would they have been? Dying, right?

AAM: Correct. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Feb. 14, 2019.)

Here is an instance of Ramakrishna’s non-dual guru Totapuri, tired of life, thinking he can choose the time of his exit. He walks into the Ganges but no matter how far out he walks, the water does not come above his shins.

“Suddenly, in one dazzling moment, [Totapuri] sees on all sides the presence of the Divine Mother. She is in everything; She is everything. She is in the water; She is on land. She is the body; She is the mind. She is pain; She is comfort. She is knowledge; She is ignorance. She is life; She is death. She is everything that one sees, hears, or imagines. She turns ‘yea’ into ‘nay’; and ‘nay’ into ‘yay.’ Without Her grace no embodied being can go beyond Her realm. Man has no free will. He is not even free to die. Yet, again, beyond the body and mind She resides in her Transcendental, Absolute aspect. She is the Brahman [God the Father, the Void] that Totapuri has been worshipping all his life.” (Swami Nikhilananda, trans., in The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. New York: Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center, 1978; c1942, 31.)

Finally a story from Rumi, based on memory. A wealthy businessman was relaxing in his host’s garden twenty miles from his home in Teheran. Suddenly he saw the Spirit of Death walk across the garden 100 yards in front of him.

In a panic he bade a hasty goodbye to his host and raced home to Teheran.  Sitting in his own garden in the evening feeling safe, he was horrified to see the Spirit of Death approaching him. He said, I saw you in the garden outside town this morning and raced home to get away from you. And the Spirit of Death replied, yes, I saw you too and was surprised for I was planning to meet you here in Teheran, about this time.