December 31, 2023
Some say the world will end in fire… ~ Robert Frost
Give yourself a pat on the back, advised a friend. You’ve walked through fire.
I hadn’t thought of the last three weeks in those terms, but she’s right. Making medical decisions for another being is trial by fire of a high degree. How do we know what the individual wants? By whose authority do we dictate treatment?
I defer to “what my cat wants” as best I can. The animal communicator is invaluable, but Brownie’s behavior is the ultimate litmus test.
“He’ll hide if he doesn’t want insulin anymore,” the communicator relayed this morning. And blood glucose monitoring? “He says, no thank you.”
I contemplate the blissfully purring brown and white cat who cuddles into my body as if wanting to meld our souls. I could…should…defer to his preference to avoid the painful prick that precedes blood glucose testing. The animal communicator noted, if he realizes that sometimes when he approaches his person, he’s going to experience pain, he may become cautious.
Cautious. Rightfully mistrustful. Isn’t it good enough that he compliantly accepts insulin, that he jumps on my lap for his dose and doesn’t seem to notice the needle? “If we don’t do home testing,” I tell him, “you’ll be going to the vet to have it done.” Better that he mistrust them than me.
I think many of us have gone through trial by fire over much of our lives. When we get singed, the lesson is branded into our psyche. And the next time our intuition sounds its subtle alarm, we pay it more heed.
Intuition has been quite reliable in guiding me on what treatment Brownie wants. The communicator relayed confirmation of my conclusions, but I believe I would’ve made the same decisions, regardless.
I feel like I’m inching closer to instant, unassailable knowing as my guide in all situations. Brownie is a great teacher. Anyone can be a great teacher. I may be walking through fire, but by some grace I am protected, my feet do not burn, and the brilliant light from those flames brightens around me as I continue to stride forward, forward.